


Once more unto the breach

by echoingarchives



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon-related spoilers, Drift Compatibility, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Nonbinary Shī Qīngxuán, Previous mental trauma, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 61,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27703124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoingarchives/pseuds/echoingarchives
Summary: Xie Lian used to be the top Jaeger pilot, a star in the crown of the Task Force fighting against the kaiju. But even stars fall and Xie Lian's fall was worse than most. After 10 years, the battle against the monsters of the deep has not improved and they are losing ground, so Xie Lian agrees to come back to the front with one stipulation: he needs a drift partner.
Relationships: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian (Tiān Guān Cì Fú)
Comments: 255
Kudos: 239





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic ever! I hope you like it! I love TGCF and Pacific Rim and HuaLian are perfect for the whole drift compatible thing. I will add tags as it progresses as needed.

Xie Lian took a bite into the bun and winced as the roof of his mouth stung from the scorching filling. He held it for a second, his mouth slightly open to suck in the cold air around him in an attempt to cool it down, but his hunger got the better of him and he swallowed, feeling the burn travel down his throat. It settled in his stomach and he could finally appreciate the warmth of the food radiating through him against the chill of the air. He lamented that he could hardly taste his next bite as his tongue had been absolutely fried, but his empty stomach cried for the rest of the bun. He finished it in another few bites and pulled his thin coat tighter against his chest to keep as much of the warmth contained as possible.

His stomach was still not satisfied, begging for anything more, and Xie Lian dug in several more of his coat pockets for any loose change he may have forgotten in the off-chance he could afford a second bun. His searching revealed several small coins, and a glittery rock he had found on the roadside some weeks ago that he had found to be pretty. He counted up the coins and he was several short of affording the second bun. After contemplating for a moment, he shrugged and turned back to the little stall.

“Excuse me, I wonder if you would be interested in an exchange,”

The young man managing the stall was reclined in his seat with his back turned, watching a small tv with the fervor of someone who had nothing else to do. He turned his head back to Xie Lian at the question and eyed him up and down.

“Didn’t you just get one? Was there something wrong with it? We really can’t do refunds,”

Xie Lian shook his head smiling warmly, “Ah, no! It was delicious,” or at least he thought it would have been, had his taste buds not given up on him. “I was actually just going to request another one,”

The young man sighed and swiveled his chair around, reaching for some tongs to fish out another bun. “Pork or chicken?” he asked monotonously.

“Ah, yes there is the issue,”

“We don’t have a vegetarian option--” the young man motioned between the very slim variety of buns.

“No, no it’s just..” Xie Lian held out his hand with the few coins he had left and then plucked the sparkly rock up from his palm and waved it hopefully, “I don’t quite have enough for another one and was wondering if you might accept this little token to make up for the difference.”

Xie Lian smiled and waited patiently for a response.

The young man gaped at him, eyes slowly counting the coins in his hand to the little pebble held out to him, and then back to his smiling face. 

“I--” he started and Xie Lian tilted his head, still simply holding out his hand. “My boss counts the register every night.. I don’t think--” he stammered for a second “I don’t think that.. rock.. counts?”

Xie Lian furrowed his brow and pulled his hand back, bringing the stone up to the light. “Ah, I thought it was pretty and figured others might as well,” he frowned slightly as he twisted the stone and a couple shiny facets reflected the stalls light.

The young man fidgeted, “I’m sure it’s pretty and all but it’s not like I can take that to the bank,” he muttered.

Xie Lian sighed and placed the stone back into his pocket along with the meager remains of his coin. He shrugged, “It was worth asking!”

It was no matter, he had gotten used to hunger over the past several years. The times between jobs were the hardest, but he always found something new eventually and would enjoy a full belly then. He gave the stall owner a soft smile and was about to turn to go when a hand reached past him, holding out a crisp set of bills.

“Two buns please,” came a no-nonsense voice. A voice Xie Lian recognized. He turned to the owner and came face to face with Ling Wen. 

She was bundled up against the cold and her nose was a little red against the chill, but otherwise, she was the same as she was over ten years ago. Stoic and steady and staring him straight in the eyes with a look that Xie Lian knew meant that this was not a coincidental meeting.

The young man had instinctively taken the money as Ling Wen dropped it in his hand. He had been shocked by her bluntness and taken aback when it seemed like she was completely ignoring him once the money had been exchanged. He shook himself and glanced down at the money and then coughed and asked weakly, “Do you want pork or..” he trailed off at a glance from her and just shuffled over to grab a bag and stuff one of each in the paper holders.

He held the bags out along with the change and Ling Wen did not even acknowledge him and just started walking away. 

Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but he turned to the young man and laughed it off, apologizing and taking the buns awkwardly.

The shop keeper gaped and as he saw Xie Lian also start to walk away, he realized he was still holding the change. “Um, sir!” he called, waving his hand and causing some of the coins to jingle. “Your.. her change!..?”

Xie Lian waved awkwardly as he jogged away to catch up to Ling Wen and shouted back, “Ah, keep it! Thank you for the buns!” 

After staring after them in confusion for several moments, the young man shrugged and glancing around, pocketed the change.

Xie Lian caught up to Ling Wen, his breath huffing out in visible puffs in the cold air. She glanced at him as he matched her pace, but did not stop walking with a clear destination in mind.

“Ah, Officer Ling Wen, what a happy occasion to meet you again after so many years!” Xie Lian tried to start the conversation awkwardly. He held up the buns she had purchased and gestured, “The air is cold this far north and these will chill fast and they are always best warm,”

He handed them out to her, but she barely glanced at them before stating, “I am not here to sample the local street fare, Captain Xie Lian,”

Xie Lian’s face dropped and he fell a step behind her as they walked and he sighed, “..I figured as much.” He clutched the warm buns to his chest and fixed his expression before asking, “So then why are you here?” though he had several guesses.

They had approached a building, the only hotel in the area. It was taller than most in this town, but it was still modest compared to what Xie Lian knew Ling Wen was used to. She pushed the door open and warm air rushed past Xie Lian rivaling the buns he was gripping tighter and tighter to his chest. She turned and looked him in the eye and said, “We need you back at the front lines.” As she moved through the door she added, “And it is Commander Ling Wen now,”

Xie Lian stood for a moment, eyes distant and troubled, until a brisk wind bit at his face and he relented, stepping into the warmth of the hotel lobby. He composed himself and followed after Ling Wen to a small side room that seemed to have been commandeered as a conference room by Ling Wen and her entourage. He smiled, “Congratulations on the promotion! Well deserved!”

She nodded her head but said nothing more as one of her team closed the door behind them and stood guard outside. She sat down and flicked a large nearby monitor on. He remembered her being very task-focused and it seemed she had not changed. He himself had not even sat down before she began speaking.

“As I am sure you are aware, the battle against the kaiju continues and we have been at a stalemate for many years now. We have been able to beat them back and mitigate major disasters, but the coast is gradually falling apart and we are losing the peoples support.” She flicked through a couple of images and pulled up several newspaper clippings whose headlines were stating clear doubt in the Task Force’s ability to protect them.

“There is still no advancement on our research of the breach itself other than the observation that it seems to be growing larger, especially over the past year.” A couple of graphs popped up on the screen and Xie Lian, while not the most scientifically minded, could understand that those statistics were trending in a less than optimal direction.

“We have also observed that as the breach grows in size, it is allowing larger or a higher quantity of kaiju through than we had previously been dealing with.” A compilation of three images of monstrous beasts flashed on screen. Teeth, claws, and eyes glowing with a blue phosphorescence. Xie Lian grimaced and closed his eyes, willing the trembling that began to course through his body to stop.

“They are also learning and adapting at an accelerating rate.” She paused before switching the screen to a new kaijuu, it was bulky and seemed to have thick, almost solid looking plates running down its back. It reminded Xie Lian of an armadillo and he perversely felt the urge to laugh, but Ling Wen continued. “This one was the most recent breach,” she motioned to the plating, “This armor gave us trouble.. It was completely resistant to our artillery and highest caliber weaponry that the Jaegers are currently outfitted with.”

Xie Lian blinked and then stared at her, aghast. That was.. Not good. They had survived and succeeded in these battles because the large mechas they had developed could shoot incredibly high powered projectiles as well as maneuver into a position and aim at the kaiju’s most vulnerable areas to make for very effective methods of destroying the creatures. If they had finally evolved a method to block even their strongest blasts, the task force would have to develop an alternative.. And quickly.

Xie Lian thought for a moment and then wondered aloud, “How did you manage to take this one down, then?” He assumed they had been able to defeat it since Ling Wen had the time to travel to the other side of the globe to find him.

She grimaced and flicked to the next picture. It showed a Jaeger mid-action, simply punching the kaiju so hard in its jaw area that the Jaeger’s arm was bursting to pieces in the image. “One of our pilots is a little unorthodox in his methods and we got lucky that his punch snapped the kaiju’s neck.. But he also destroyed the arm of the Jaeger in the process.”

Xie Lian forced a laugh down at the absurdity of the situation and commented, “Pfft-- that certainly is a unique way to approach things..”

“Yes.. unique,” Ling Wen shuffled through some papers, “and expensive, and dangerous, and reckless.” She pulled out a clipped report, “But we have been able to study this one before the scavengers got too much of it and we believe that the evolution of the armor created a different weakness in the kaiju that we can exploit.” She handed him the packet.

Xie Lian flipped through it and grew grimmer as he read. He skimmed the rest and placed it on the table, sliding it back to her. He was silent for a moment before saying, “Even if you could manage to slice between the plates, it would require perfect timing and positioning to even expose the underlying joints. No Jaeger has been built to use a sword apparatus since--” he cut himself off and held his shaking hands under the table.

She let him compose himself and then said matter-of-factly, “That is why I am here. We need you back to pilot a jaeger outfitted with a sword apparatus to at least give the other pilots opportunities to get the artillery through the skin. We are prepared to reinstate your rank and provide you with a generous salary. Your records would be wiped clean and you can even choose a new call sign if you wish.”

Xie Lian sunk into his chair and clutched his arms, trying to abate the trembling as his mind was thrown back to 10 years ago. The pain, the rubble, the deep blue abyss that he still had nightmares about.. And the pale twisted face hidden in the depths of his memory.

“I.. I don’t think I can.” he muttered, and then chuckled darkly, “I doubt I’d be able to pass the psych eval,”

Ling Wen slid a new paper across the table that had an official looking signature and seal at the bottom, “That won’t be a problem, you are already approved for combat.” She paused.. “We are desperate at this point and have no other option. These new kaiju could become the norm and we cannot rely on dumb luck to achieve a win next time.”

Xie Lian looked down at the paper stating he was of sound mind and body and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. After years of jumping from job to job, barely having a real bed half the time, and learning to scrounge for food in places he never would have considered before; he would consider his body much less than “sound”. As for his mind..

He glanced back up at the image of the new kaiju. “I can train the pilots to use the sword apparatus, maybe?” but Ling Wen shook her head.

“Maybe one day, but we need an operable Jaeger now.”

“Are there any that even have the attachment?

She put her hand on her forehead, massaging a headache away. “There are some.. In development. We don’t have any operational from when you were--” she glanced at him, “and besides, even then we didn’t prefer to use them because barely any other pilots could manage the higher flexibility of the Jaeger.”

Xie Lian nodded, remembering how so many tried and just ended up toppling over, unable to find the balance between the Jaeger and the sword.

He was quiet for a moment, thinking over everything, but he sighed as he came to the same conclusion and nodded stiffly. Ling Wen nodded back and motioned at one of her staff who left to presumably begin preparations for them to travel back to the base.

“Wait,” he raised his hand in a stopping motion. Ling Wen paused and sat patiently for him. He bit his lip, “If I come back I--” his brow furrowed, “I can’t pilot on my own, I’ll need a drift partner..”

“Naturally,” Ling Wen agreed. “That is actually protocol now since--” she glanced at him and coughed lightly. “Having a drift partner shares the load and has been crucial to the development of our current Jaeger technology so that none of the pilots become.. overburdened.”

Xie Lian nodded slowly, but then his spirits lowered even more. Who could possibly drift with him? His mind was so broken from.. the event. He doubted anyone else would even want to try and he feared for their sanity even if they did consent to the drift.

Ling Wen stood, patting him on the shoulder lightly. “We have a few candidates in mind. Don’t worry, we will find you a compatible drift partner.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this and the next chapter in a fit of madness over the nothing day that this years thanksgiving turned into. I didn't know what to do with myself on my day off so apparently I got possessed by the spirit of hualian to get this story moving and get to huahua faster!
> 
> Unfortunately, it is starting to take on a life of it's own and it may be another couple chapters before we get an appearance from the man himself..
> 
> Hope you enjoy! (I'll publish the next chapter soon!)

It always seemed to be raining at the Task Force Bases positioned along the coast. The beat of the helicopter blades merged with the sounds of the rain and wind that pounded on its cabin. Xie Lian squinted through the rain to ascertain how close they were, anxiety and anticipation thrumming through him. He scratched at the old scar at his neck, a nervous habit he had picked up during the healing process that Feng Xin had always yelled at him about. The wound had long healed, but it seemed to be itching more again as he got closer to their destination.

The helicopter jerked a bit as it began to move at an angle and Xie Lian saw large dark shapes begin to form in the storm. He heard the pilot report their imminent touch down to Ling Wen, which she curtly acknowledged. She flicked off her tablet and turned to him.

“We will be reporting directly to the Admiral upon arrival.” Even through the headset, she still had to shout over the cacophony of nature and machine.

Xie Lian blinked at her, “Ah, so soon? I’m sure he’s very busy.. I can get settled in first?”

“He is expecting you. You may leave your bags in the helicopter and they will be moved to your assigned quarters later,” she glanced out the window and zipped up her coat and pulled her hood over her head. 

She was clearly very prepared to protect herself against the rain. Xie Lian picked at a thread on his worn jacket and mentally braced himself to get very wet. He really wished they would allow him to go to his new quarters first; maybe get changed and dry his hair.. And psych himself up to see his old commanding officer again. He hadn’t met with Jun Wu since he had been court-martialed and even though the Admiral had spoken in his defense, Xie Lian knew he had disappointed him. He felt the guilt and shame start to take over him, but was jolted back to reality as the helicopter landed on the docking platform.

Ling Wen moved quickly, opening the door and swinging herself out into the rain, racing towards a nearby bay door that was open just enough to let a person through without inviting the worst of the storm in. With a deep breath, Xie Lian followed swiftly after her. When they squeezed through the door, it was shut behind them and Xie Lian had the distinct impression of being trapped in a cage. 

With a perfunctory glance to ensure that he had followed, Ling Wen strode off into the hangar. Keeping pace with her, he tried to wring out as much of the rain from his jacket as he could, but he only succeeded in making himself look more rumpled, as if he had tumbled down a hill before arriving.

“Commander Ling Wen, ah,” he tried, giving her a slight smile, “maybe I should go and change before meeting with the Admiral?”

“It’s no matter. He is already waiting for us on the bridge,”

“I see..” Xie sighed and knew that he could not divert Ling Wen from her schedule even if he wanted to.

Together, they made their way through the hangar and Xie Lian was struck by a sense of familiarity, even as he noted how much had changed in the ten years since his active service. According to Ling Wen’s briefing during the ride over, there were only three active bases left; the world government having consolidated the Task Force in an effort to cut costs. One was on the California coast, one operating out of Australia, and one established off of China’s coast. The base in China was the largest and oldest, being nearest the Breach, and had been Xie Lian’s home base for his entire career as a pilot.

At the height of their operations, Xie Lian remembered at least ten jaegers being stationed at each location, more usually out of this one, but as they walked through the large hangar, he counted only six -- and two of them seemed to be under intense maintenance. Mechanics and grounds crew packed the occupied docks, working tirelessly on their gigantic charges. Xie Lian smiled softly and reminisced back to his glory days. His crew had been just as dedicated. He had always tried to meet with each team, from diagnostics to cleaning, and share his gratitude. Each victory was a group effort and he had made it his second job to make sure everyone knew that. After every win, they shared in the glory and won praise from their counterparts on the other jaeger crews.

The crews working now seemed much more subdued, dark circles under more eyes than he could count. Tempers seemed shorter and the shouts he could hear echoing around the hangar were at a volume stemming less so from the need to be heard over the clanking, hissing, and grinding of the maintenance, and more so of frustration and exhaustion. Their path took them up the metal stairs to the catwalk and he got a look at some of the jaegers up close as they passed by. Even the ones that had looked in better condition from afar were a mess as he got nearer. He could see the welding of new material filling in the gashes caused by kaiju claws. There was one that looked like its entire chest area had been compressed and the crew was having to pry off the outer shell in pieces to get to the inner mechanics. Some even had patches that looked like they had been melted by some sort of acidic compound.

As they passed each jaeger, the cacophony of metal on metal and raised voices echoed in his head and he gripped his arms subconsciously as if he were trying to shield himself from the onslaught. The anger laced through many of the conversations brought his reminiscing around to his final days. The betrayed faces of his crew haunted him and it was as if he could hear their voices in the din.

Actually.. He could hear their voices?

His pace slowed and he looked up as they were passing the final jaeger on this stretch of the catwalk. As he neared, the observation platform came into view and the voices became clearer, arguing back and forth in a distinctly familiar way.

“It doesn’t matter if the alloy weakens the integrity of the blade when it is obviously imperative to the overall balance of the entire arm!”

“It  _ does _ matter when it needs to be durable enough to puncture the kaiju’s hide!”

“Durability isn’t going to matter when one hemisphere has to support the weight of the entire apparatus! It will unbalance the neural load and--”

“‘Unbalance the neural load’. Do you hear yourself? The only pilots who are even going to try this are already going to be trained and prepared for the updated interface, we’ve already planned for that, or weren’t you at the last briefing?”

“I was at the last briefing but apparently you weren’t since you don't seem to know who they plan to have pilot this piece of junk,”

“Hah! As if they’d be able to convince him to climb out of hiding and step foot in a jaeger again!”

Xie Lian gave a cough at that, which caused his two old friends to glance his way and then do a double-take, jaws open.

He gave a hesitant little wave and tried to smile, “Ah, Feng Xin.. Mu Qing.. Hello, I’m back,” he flinched inwardly at the awkwardness and then added, “It’s nice to see you two again,”

***

Xie Lian looked up at the machine, his neck straining as he took it all in. 

“We are calling them Jaeger’s,” the man in the lab coat was saying to his parents. “We realized that we needed to match the size and maneuverability of these kaiju if we are going to have any chance of surviving future attacks and so we went back to the basics. If we are to become the apex predator again, what shape is best suited or has a better success rate at moving up the food chain than a bipedal hunter,”

His father gave a hum of interest. “An impressive display, but is it pragmatic? If the mechanics of a single leg are disabled, your so-called maneuverability is lost. We’ve been approached by others who have working models of high-powered jets ready to launch that seem to have just as much flexibility to reach the kaiju’s vulnerable areas as you claim these to have,”

The man tapped his pen on his clipboard with an excited gesture, “That’s it though, isn’t it? We’ve already tried that and the best we’ve managed to do is throw pilot after pilot, barrage after barrage, until sheer numbers take the creatures down. Is that pragmatic? Eventually we will run out!” He gestured toward the tall gleaming jaeger, “With the neural interface derived from the latest tech out of DARPA, only one pilot is needed to operate these! The mechanisms driving the movements all converge in the cockpit located in the head. Once the pilot fully integrates with the machine, they become a walking brain and their movements get mirrored in the larger form. We can still limp along if the leg is still there,”

Xie Lian’s mother frowned, “That sounds incredibly painful for the poor pilot.. Really just one? That’s a large machine to be moved by a single person,”

“It’s all physics! The movements of the pilots get exponentially magnified throughout the Jaeger and we are close to having it be as detailed as raised a finger,” He extended his own as if to demonstrate, “And at this size, they would be able to transport and utilize a great number of weapons at a higher caliber than any jet could ever hope to carry. In addition, we have plasma technology in the works that could also be added to the arsenal once we can stabilize it. And don’t worry about the pilot being in pain, it would be no more painful than your arm going numb when you sleep on it wrong,”

His father pondered quietly, hand stroking his neatly trimmed beard. “I need to see one moving if I am going to be investing anything into this program,”

“Naturally,” the man nodded. “Give us several more weeks and we should have a pilot able to give it a test run,”

The three adults began to walk away, but Xie Lian was rooted to the spot. “Father, I want to be a pilot,”

They paused and turned back, his father giving him a stiff smile, “Maybe one day if this project ever gets off the ground we can sponsor one in your name,” and they walked away.

Xie Lian was good at befriending the people around him and even better at getting into places that normally wouldn’t allow a 15 year old boy. In the following weeks as his father made trips around the facility, ascertaining whether or not to invest in the Jaeger Program, Xie Lian ingratiated himself in with the engineers and mechanics that buzzed around this new invention. It did not take him long to become a well-known fixture among the crew. They would smile as he approached and answer his continuous stream of questions. He was particularly drawn to two engineers who seemed younger, close enough to his age to allow for an easier camaraderie than with some of the more seasoned scientists on staff.

He was strolling through a workshop, countless tables loaded with intricate electronics and powerful looking pneumatic pieces, when he heard an annoyed voice from behind him.

“You really aren’t allowed to be here,” he turned and found Mu Qing glaring at him, gripping a large bearing joint.

“He can go wherever he wants,” Feng Xin popped up behind Mu Qing carrying a bundle of cables. He frowned then and reached over to a nearby table to grab a hard hat and placed it over Xie Lian’s neat hair. “There, now he can go wherever he wants,”

Xie Lian grinned at them, “Hey guys! My father is finishing up some discussion on material acquisition with Director Nianqing so I figured I’d come and bug you,”

“What a delight,” Mu Qing muttered and hefted the hunk of metal onto the table.

Feng Xin nudged him, “We’re happy to have the young master here again. Make sure to tell your father what good work we are doing!”

Xie Lian nodded enthusiastically and started rattling off all the new things he had seen as Feng Xin and Mu Qing listened and worked. “I even got to see the test chamber today! But we still haven’t been able to watch anyone actually move it,” he paused for a moment to see if either of them would offer anything further. When neither seemed willing to add, he continued, “Director Nianqing said that they’d have a pilot ready in a couple weeks, but it doesn’t seem like anyone has even tried--”

“They’ve tried,” Mu Qing cut in, then winced. Xie Lian stared at him with big eyes until he sighed and set down his tools, “Look, don’t tell your father about this, but we’ve had some issues with the neural link. We haven’t been able to find anyone able to interface at a level high enough to even try moving one of the arms.”

Xie Lian was taken aback; everyone he had spoken with in the facility had assured him they would be seeing a demonstration soon and he had been almost vibrating with anticipation. Hadn’t the director also said it would be precise enough to even mirror hand gestures? “What’s the problem? Why can’t they find anyone?”

Feng Xin shrugged, throwing on a set of dark glasses as he tested a tool against a wire and sparks flew, “We don’t entirely know what makes a pilot able to interface. They link up fine, but once they are asked to move, it’s like the link breaks,”

“Maybe they are thinking too hard! Didn’t Director Nianqing say that the jaeger mirrors the movement of the pilot? Shouldn’t they just be able to move the controls and it would follow? I think that sounds easy enough, I bet even I could do it!”

Mu Qing gave him an unreadable look, his brow furrowed, but Feng Xin stopped his ministrations over the bundle of wires and jabbed the hot tool in his direction, “I know what you’ve been trying to do and I doubt your father will ever let you even  _ sit _ in the test chamber,”

Xie Lian frowned at them both, then grinned conspiratorially, “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I just  _ sat _ ,”

“This is going too far, we have to stop him,” Feng Xin was yelling, his voice echoing down the hallway as Xie Lian raced them giddily to the test chamber. It was a silly notion, but now that he had it in his head he felt a need to sit in that chair.

“What can we do? His father is kinda holding the whole program in his hands,” Mu Qing shot back, but his quieter tone barely reached Xie Lian’s ears as excited blood pumped through his veins.

He turned the corner and with an excited spring in his step lept softly into the large room used for testing the neural interface with the jaeger. He glanced around with glee, finding it empty, and took a moment to awe out the observation window that opened up to the incredible machine. But hastened by adrenaline, he plopped himself in the chair and put on a satisfied grin as the two turned the corner into the chamber.

He gestured at the chair as they panted, out of breath from running after him, “See? No harm done! Just sitting in the chair!”

Mu Qing grimaced and Feng Xin came up to him and tried to pull him from the seat, “Great, great, I’m glad there’s no harm done, let’s get you out of here. I can show you the joint matrix we are working on and even let you do some soldering,”

Xie Lian resisted his tug and sat even deeper into the chair. He knew he was acting somewhat of a child, but his excitement over the jaeger pushed aside that thought in his mind.

“Give me a second to enjoy this!” he pouted, “I may never get this close to piloting a jaeger again,”

Feng Xin held his eye contact for a moment before releasing him, and putting his hands up in defeat, sighing, “Just a couple minutes, then we leave,”

Mu Qing was brooding off to the side, but Xie Lian could tell he was also standing guard by the door to warn them if any one approached. Xie Lian grinned at them both, feeling the success of his foolish little game wash over him, and the power he could almost feel radiating from the apparatus he sat in. Above his head was the gear that held the diodes to establish the neural link and the arms of the chair had a glove-like attachment installed on it that he knew was paired to the jaeger.

He was so close.

It was like someone had baked a delicious pie and he was following the smell towards the prize. His eyes flicked over the various controls within reach and landed on a panel nearby with several switches and a large overly enticing button.

He glanced over at Feng Xin, who had gone over to Mu Qing and was peering around the opposite corner keeping watch that way. As subtly as he could, he shifted forward and flicked some of the switches. The chair below him started humming and lit up, the head gear lowering within reach. Without thinking any further he pulled the gear onto his head and placed his finger over the button.

“Woah, don’t--” Mu Qing had started to run back toward him. But Xie Lian just smiled and pressed the button.

He felt an intense pressure in his head, like the space between his ears was being forced through a tiny test tube. He forgot how to breathe and felt an eternity stretch before him. It was like what they say people see when they come close to death and their life flashes before their eyes. He saw snippets of memories he didn’t know he had and felt, rather than heard, the overlapping sounds of each scene. His mind was jumbled and the first salient thought he was able to conjure was that he couldn’t take much more of this. Then his mind hit a solid wall and with a clunk and a gasp of breath he opened his eyes to the test chamber again.

His ears were ringing so he couldn’t hear the voices of the crowd arguing around him. He saw his father gesticulating wildly in anger and Feng Xin and Mu Qing lowering their heads and nodding along with him. He noticed several other engineers and scientists rushing about, either taking notes or monitoring blinking graphs on the screens around them. Director Nianqing moved directly in front of his face and pulled at an eyelid, flashing a light in both eyes. Xie Lian flinched, closing his eyes against the light, and tried to push him away on instinct, but his arms felt heavier than he was used to. He blinked several more times and then refocused on the crowd, thinking that he needed to get up and stop his father from berating his two friends and make sure he doesn’t have them fired.

But as his eyes became clearer, he suddenly found that half the room had their eyes trained on him, and half were looking out the observation window, mouths wide. The ringing in his ears had stopped, but for a moment he still thought his hearing was messed up because the room was silent. 

“Ah, I’m sorry, this is my fault, don’t blame--” he cut off as he raised his hands to wave them reassuringly at the people around him, but as he did, there came a thundering of noise. He turned his head as much as he could, as he was still attached to the neural gear, and stared out the observation window. 

The jaeger had its hands up in the same position as he currently had his.

Stunned, he lowered one arm and watched as the corresponding one matched his movement. He waved at himself through the window and the jaeger waved back.

His face split into an ear to ear grin as he turned back to Feng Xin and Mu Qing. “See? I told you it was easy enough!”

***

The years had seen his two old friends grow from being young techs thrown into a new project right out of school, to his most trusted and valued engineers on his crew, to now --as directors of the jaeger tech development projects for the Task Force. Xie Lian smiled wistfully, glad that the two people he knew were most familiar with the sword apparatus had been put in charge of the project, feeling a little more at ease.

But he still was unsure how to approach them, given how they had parted ways.

Feng Xin only stared at him blankly before swearing quietly, “what the fuck..”

Xie Lian shrugged noncommittally.

“Why the hell are you back?” Mu Qing said with a disturbed look on his face.

“Are you even okay to be back? You are okay, right?” Feng Xin turned to Ling Wen, “He has been cleared to come back, right?”

Xie Lian waved his hands and just laughed a bit, “Yes I’m back and I’m fine.” He was not prepared to be bombarded with questions about his mental state, as he still wasn’t entirely sure what that state was..

“Captain Xie Lian has been recalled to active duty and will be operating the jaeger you two are working on,” Ling Wen said matter-of-factly, before shifting her eyes over the torn apart mecha behind them, “whenever it’s ready,”

She continued walking, taking the final set of metal stairs that ran to the command center. Xie Lian ran a hand through his hair looking from Ling Wen’s retreating figure to the two men standing awkwardly on the platform in front of him. He became distinctly aware of the fact that he was still soaking wet and particularly rumpled, which probably did not lead credence to the argument for his mental health.

“Ah.. I suppose I'll see you again soon?” He tried to sound more positive than he felt.

Mu Qing turned away and started tapping at his tablet.

Feng Xin looked down and just mumbled quietly, “Yeah.. soon,”

After another moment of hesitation he followed after Ling Wen, leaving his two friends and their memories behind to deal with later.

Ling Wen had already made it to the bridge and was speaking to a tall, poised man standing in front of an array of screens and projections. The man turned and saw Xie Lian as soon as he entered and gave him a soft smile.

“Xian Le, what a sight for sore eyes you are. Coming to save us in our time of need,” 

Xie Lian saluted, even as he cringed inwardly at the use of his old call sign. “I am here to support you to the best of my abilities.. I just hope I can give you what you need sir,”

Admiral Jun Wu nodded and looked down at him, saying gently, “I know you are exactly what we are looking for right now. It’s good to have you back, Captain,”

Xie Lian stood stiffly, and did his best to pretend that he felt the same. “It’s good to be back, sir,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive any of the weird tech or military phrases since I really know nothing about either u.u;;; But we will pretend I do and hope it makes sense!
> 
> Also, I apologize if bb XL came off as a little OOC.. it kinda took off and I liked where it was going so I hope it doesn't seem weird!
> 
> Thank you! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am taking a lot of liberties with the Pacific Rim lore to make sure it fits the story better, so I'm wondering if I should remove that as one of the tags and just put "inspired by"? We'll see how far I deviate ^.^;;
> 
> I seem to be rather inconsistent with my chapter lengths, so this one is a little shorter than the last. Hope you still enjoy!

Jun Wu turned and strode further down the lit tables projecting infographics of their operation. Xie Lian followed after him, matching his pace a step behind him, shadowing as if he were that passionate youth once again trying to keep up with his idol.

“I’m pleased to see you look well, Xian Le. Ten years is a long time away from active service, but it seems those years have not taken as much of a toll on you as they have on me,” he chuckled warmly.

Xie Lian stared at him with mild chagrin. Jun Wu had always been a tall man, and his broad shoulder and confident posture added to his image, painting the picture of a perfect and dedicated military leader. No one questioned his authority and he was respected by even the general public. Though he had never piloted a jaeger, he led the Task Force to a quick pattern of victory once the jaeger program was in full swing. He was one of the first few who spoke up in support of integrating the new technology into the military and it was only due to the world governments supreme trust in the man that he had been granted almost full autonomy in dealing with the kaiju. It had practically made him the savior of the entire world.

The skill of the jaeger pilots made them into celebrities during their career with the jaeger, but their stardom was only as stable as their individual success. If there was ever a failure, the public would blame the pilots or even the engineers, but Jun Wu’s comforting stability was never met with hostility.

All Xie Lian could see that indicated any time had passed was some streaks of grey through the admiral’s sleek hair, though it made him seem almost more stately. 

“Our resources are strained, Captain,” Jun Wu sighed, getting down to business. He paused at a table that lit up in a 3D rendering of the rim from the coast lines all the way down to the ocean floor. “The world government has had to cut our funding, the people’s patience is waning no matter how often we reassure them or how many battles we scrape by with a win.. and we have been running low on pilot candidates,” he frowned sadly, “The newer ones aren’t even lasting half as long as the ones from your generation, even though we have dedicated research and development teams working night and day to give them the best technology to keep them safe.”

He passed his hand through the projection and flicked his fingers to enlarge a section at a low point several hundred miles off the coast from where they currently were standing. Xie Lian stared at the crack in the ocean floor that glowed with a sinister orange on the map. 

“This was the breach 10 years ago,” Jun Wu swiped and Xie Lian looked at the little orange line. “This was one year ago,” he swiped again and the crack seemed about the same, perhaps a little wider. “This was our latest reading taken this morning,” he swiped one last time and Xie Lian was taken aback. The crack had almost doubled in size and had clearly widened.

“During your tenure as a pilot, the largest kaiju we would see were labelled as Category 3’s. That has been the consistent limit they seem to have stayed at for the past decade. They have been increasingly more..creative in their biology -- we have had to build shields against the ones that spray acid for example -- but we have managed. This past year, however, we saw our first Category 4. And then our second.”

He moved them over to a new table that had readings from each time a kaiju forced its way through the crack. “Several months ago we had a double event. And that seems to be the standard since,”

Xie Lian read through the time tables and saw that things seemed to be accelerating at an alarming rate. He held his elbows and tapped his chin, deep in thought.

“During these new trends, the evolution of their biology in response to our efforts has become more apparent, culminating in the beast that forced us to drag you out of retirement,”

‘Retirement’ was a kind way to put it.

Xie Lian did not speak for a moment, taking it all in. Jun Wu stood next to him, watching him carefully. “What are you thinking, Xian Le?”

Xie Lian paused for a moment before looking up at him and smiling sadly. “You didn’t just seek me out for my experience with the sword apparatus. You are scraping the bottom of the barrel for any possible pilots that can even mildly operate a jaeger,”

Jun Wu patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Your skill with the sword has never been matched. I assure you that you are essential to our cause,” he paused and then chuckled warmly, “But I cannot lie to you! We are certainly trying to consolidate as many of our resources as we can.”

Xie Lian folded his arms and tried to be measured in his speech, “Your list of candidates must be incredibly short if you already got to me,”

Jun Wu grimaced, “I’m afraid you are the list,” he scrolled swiftly through several screens and swiped up a list of pilots. Xie Lian watched sadly as the list flowed by, red X’s proclaiming each individual dead. As they got to the more recent pilots, Xie Lian was pleased to see some still alive, but then he realized that every single one of them was marked as deployed on active duty. They truly were at the edge of their resources if they were dragging in the scraps now.

He sighed, massaging a hand over his temple. He could feel the edges of a headache start to push its way into his mind.

He looked up at Jun Wu, who was watching him with that soft certainty that he would get his way. Xie Lian tried to stop fidgeting and straightened up. “I will do what I can while I am able, sir,”  _ however long that will be _ , “But I am still lacking a co-pilot,”

Jun Wu nodded, “Yes, Ling Wen mentioned that as your stipulation for returning. And you are in luck that we actually require dual pilots now. We learned the hard way how vulnerable that connection can make a person,” 

Xie Lian could not help but look down in shame. Jun Wu laughed it off good-naturedly.

“The past is in the past, Xian Le. That was almost a full decade ago.” He got a distant look in his eyes, “Besides, you were the only one who was truly ever able to pilot alone. So many others got close, but none could even come close to matching you. You were truly a god amongst mortals,”

Xie Lian might have been honored by his testimony, but he also could not help but remember his failure and all the destruction wrought by his own hand. He tried to shrug it off, plastering on what he hoped was a smile that looked bashful at the praise rather than stung by the memory. “Please admiral, I do not deserve any praise. I only hope that I am able to find a compatible partner to share the load with and be useful to you,”

“Ah, yes!” Jun Wu turned for Ling Wen and found her already at his side transferring data from her tablet up to a large screen near them. 

Faces scrolled across the screen in an eerie mirror to the list of dead pilots he had just had to experience. As the candidates profiles rolled along, he could not help but feel a sadness for his potential drift partners.

“They are all so young,” he whispered as he saw phantom red X’s stamped over their images in his mind.

“Young but capable,” Ling Wen said curtly. “They are all top of their class and close to becoming pilots by their own merit if they are able to find a compatible partner,” 

“I’ve heard there are quite a few excited by the chance to work with a veteran,” Jun Wu smiled down at him.

“Do they know which veteran?” Xie Lian mumbled, more to himself than to either of the others.

“They know enough to at least go through the physical compatibility test,” Ling Wen responded.

Xie Lian nodded at that, remembering the martial matches he watched in his youth as pilots trained with each other. He was exceptionally talented on his own and would often overpower his opponents, striking the winning points within minutes. But he had envied the ease that the drift compatible partners would move with, flowing through the moves and forms until it was no longer a match, but a dance. He glanced back up at the rolodex of cadets. Were any of those youths going to be able to dance with him?

Filled with doubt, but shouldering the responsibility and steeling himself against his better judgement, he looked up at Ling Wen and Jun Wu and said, “When do we start?”

Jun Wu laughed and patted him on the shoulder, “There is that old enthusiasm I’m looking for! Go get settled in, everything is scheduled for tomorrow morning, yes?”

Ling Wen nodded. “We will be performing the physical compatibility tests in the morning and, if there are any individuals who show particular potential, we will run some tests with the neural handshake in the afternoon,”

Xie Lian’s blood ran cold. “So soon?” he laughed shortly, trying to hide his flush of fear and quiet his racing heartbeat.

Ling Wen looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “What is the point in waiting? If we don’t make proper use of our down time between kaiju attacks, we will be more caught off-guard than we already are,”

Xie Lian coughed awkwardly, raising a hand to his neck and rubbing at the phantom pain that seemed to be bothering him more today than it had in the past several years combined. “Ah, yes, you’re right of course.. I just thought that there would be an opportunity to get to know the person before attempting the actual interfacing,”  _ or an opportunity to warn them away from the attempt altogether _ .

“Nonsense,” Ling Wen said, snapping her stylus into its clip at the side of her tablet, “If you are drift compatible and the neural handshake is a success, then you will get to know each other right away far better than you ever would with a simple conversation,”

_ Yes, that’s the problem _ , Xie Lian thought, feeling sweat drip down his back. But he only smiled and agreed with a small hum of assent.

“Go get your rest, Xian Le. You’ve been living on the opposite side of the globe, so I hear, so you must be feeling the jet lag. We’ll make sure to retrieve you in the morning for the testing,”

Xie Lian was immensely grateful to Jun Wu for the dismissal, as he was feeling more and more tense as their conversation had progressed, a headache becoming distinctly more present. He turned to leave, but then paused and said awkwardly, “Ah, I haven’t been shown where my quarters are..”

“I’ve assigned you your old bunk,” Jun Wu smiled, “you still remember the way, do you not?”

Xie Lian felt like a wire about to snap.

“Yes.. I do,” he left, his movements stiff and his mind a mess.

He hadn’t known what to expect as he entered his old room. Jaeger pilots were assigned larger rooms, typically because they housed both pilots together, and because their status provided them with many benefits a typical soldier would never be privy to. But because Xie Lian had been a solo pilot, his room had been his own, almost a full one bedroom apartment all to himself. It had a tiny bathroom and there was even a partition beside the sleeping area that made it seem as if it was its own separate space. At some point, he had made them modify the bunk beds to be on the same level and pushed together, so he got a larger bed than any of the other crew stationed here. But the part envied most by non-pilots was the kitchenette. Though small by civilian means, it still afforded the jaeger pilots their own private stash of food options, allowing them to skip the long lines at the communal cafeteria if they chose to.

Xie Lian closed the metal door behind him and it latched with a loud metallic clank which made him flinch as the noise echoed. He leaned back against the door and breathed out a long sigh. He looked around and found that his old living quarters were almost exactly as he remembered them, down to his silly double bed layout. He wasn’t sure how that made him feel-- pulled back into the past during a better time, or forced into a role he didn’t feel suited him anymore. He felt like he was being forced to wear a mask of his younger self and parade around as if he was still that energetic, hopeful youth.

He let himself slide down the metal door, landing in a huddle. He gripped his legs and pulled them tight against his body, massaging his forehead against his knees. He tried to take some steadying breaths, recalling those old lessons the Director had given him to keep him mind stable during the neural interfacing. Reciting the familiar words did a lot to calm his heart, but he could still feel that nagging pressure in the back of his mind of the headache that had been closing in on him. He finally couldn’t fight it back anymore and he gripped his head in his hands as he shook from the pain. He hadn’t had a headache this bad in years, and at the edges of his consciousness he knew what was coming next as his vision slowly went black.

_ He was surrounded by a deep blue abyss, so familiar to him yet so foreign at the same time. He knew the comfort this space could provide, showing him bright memories of his childhood, laughing with his friends, emerging victorious from another battle. But this blue was different. He couldn’t say how he knew; it was like walking into someone else’s house that had the same layout as your own, but they had decorated it completely differently and it was clearly not your home. It was a subtle uncomfortable feeling of knowing your way around, but still not knowing where you are. _

_ He didn’t have a body in this space, he simply floated. His five senses became impressions and he felt he was both infinitesimally small and incomparably large at the same time. He tried to sense around himself, attempting to gain his bearings and find some semblance of order in the quiet chaos. As he reached his consciousness out, his memory caught up with him and he withdrew into himself sharply. It had been so long since he had been here, he had almost forgotten that he was not alone. _

_ If he had a heartbeat in this place, it would be trying to escape his chest by now. Instead, his senses dulled as he grew frantic, trying to find the exit. But there is no direction in nothingness and he could slowly feel the other presence growing closer. He had no ears, but he could hear a voice. He had no body, but he felt a cold embrace. He had no eyes, but --like the imprint of light against closed eyelids-- a pale face formed before him, twisting in such a way that it looked both elated and sad at his return. _

_ “Welcome home,” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited to continue to share this with you guys! I'll hopefully get the next chapter up soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys don't mind some cameos here and there! I can't resist and I hope they don't feel forced.
> 
> The story continues to evolve and even I am surprised at the route it's taking! I know where I'm going but the path to get there is twisting in very exciting ways. Enjoy!
> 
> CW: I'm going to add a tag for emotional manipulation, though I think if you've read TGCF it falls within the same scope.

Xie Lian was used to functioning on little to no sleep, but that didn’t stop him from trying to cover up multiple yawns as Ling Wen went over their itinerary as they made their way to the training arena. He thought that he had cleaned himself up well enough after being able to shower and don his newly issued uniform, but he still felt disheveled compared to Ling Wen and her impeccably neat appearance. How had she gotten that crease so sharp? He tugged uncomfortably at the stiff collar and tried to stay focused on her words, but his mind wandered. He no longer felt the insistent pressure of the headache, but it had been years since he had been trapped in that dark place and it was like he could still sense it waiting for him in the shadows.

“Captain?”

He started and straightened up, blushing sheepishly at his obvious lack of attention. “Erm, yes, sorry what was that?”

She eyed him for a moment before repeating, “Your ankle. Do you still have full functionality?”

She tilted her tablet towards him and tapped at a picture of an x-ray of a leg-- his leg. Xie Lian lifted his foot and wiggled it in the air.

“As functional as the rest of me!” He smiled at the irony, but Ling Wen just nodded and took a few notes off to the side.

“The bones had not been damaged and the nerves were intact so you were cleared from physical therapy relatively quickly. Still,” she paused and looked him up and down, “you may consider several sessions with a trainer to rebuild some of the strength you may have lost over the years,”

She had clearly noticed his diminished state, especially since she was comparing him to charts almost ten years old. But even though he was slimmer and perhaps stiffer than he once was due to his inconsistent nutrition and less than optimal sleeping options, manual labor was often the only type of work he could find so he still maintained some of his natural strength. He might even be stronger now because of it, but he did recognize his flexibility needed work. He was hoping that would return relatively quickly as soon as he got moving, so he shook his head, dismissing her concern.

“I should be fine, Commander. The med team did an excellent job stitching me up and I barely remember the injury sometimes,” It was true. He had received the neck wound at the same time as his ankle, but while the scar on his neck often itched, he sometimes completely forgot about his ankle unless he looked closely for the discoloration at the site of the wound. The only difference he ever noticed was a slight numbness that radiated out from the center of the puncture; but only if he really focused on it. Otherwise, it was completely forgotten.

“Regardless, the injury did put you out of commission for several weeks, so we will be keeping an eye out for any potential aftereffects,”

Xie Lian’s face twisted at the memory and almost corrected her about what actually put him out of commission for those weeks, but stopped himself, figuring that the official record was probably deliberately adjusted in order to declare him ‘fit for duty’. Instead, he adjusted his features and agreed that he would inform them of any physical pains that came up.

They continued down the hallway, Ling Wen resuming her detailed briefing of what to expect over the coming days. Xie Lian hummed in acknowledgement whenever she seemed to be looking for a response, which satisfied her enough to keep her talking. As they moved down the corridor, he started to hear a distant sound that made him smile and increase his pace. 

“We will continue this briefing later then,” Ling Wen said as his stride took him ahead to a large open space echoing with measured shouts and clacks of wood on wood.

This was one of the few things about the Task Force that he had missed over the last decade. The gym before him was just as he remembered it. Several sectioned off areas had soft tatami mats laid out in a square, protecting the trainees as they were thrown to the ground by a more experienced sparring partner. Rows of exercise machines were lined up and down one wall, several occupied by focused people trying to force out one more rep. A group of young cadets were spaced out neatly so they would not accidentally strike each other as their sergeant called out moves. Xie Lian drank in the smell of sweat and heat and felt more alive than he had in awhile. For the first time since entering the base, he felt a true smile form on his lips and a sense of ease and comfort enter his bones.

This. This he could do.

He had been practicing martial arts since even before he entered the jaeger program and his body immediately sang with the urge to move again.

“You have about thirty minutes before we begin the compatibility matches if you would like to warm up,” Ling Wen correctly noting his eagerness.

Xie Lian spotted an unoccupied sparring square and walked in an eager beeline toward it, removing his over starched jacket and shirt as he neared, leaving only his cotton undershirt on. He tossed them unceremoniously to the side and took a moment to relish in his freedom of movement as he raked his eyes over the available training weapons.

A rack of wooden swords caught his eye. He picked one of relatively standard length and hefted in his hand, feeling the familiar weight and balance of his preferred weapon. He kicked off his boots and socks and, unable to forget years of ingrained habit, bowed himself onto the training mat. The sounds of the gym faded around him as he readied a stance for one of his favorite forms. He closed his eyes and narrowed his focus to his breath, feeling the cool air flow through his nose and cycle through his body before exiting warmly out of his mouth in a slow exhale.

His eyes still closed, he shifted his weight and stepped into the sequence of movements. It was as if he were hearing a song from his childhood, the lyrics engraved into his mind as he sung along to the familiar tune. He moved instinctively and thrummed with the energy of each action. He reached the end of the form and flowed instantly to the next. The balance on this one was different, requiring heavier steps that anchored his weight into the ground and swung the blade with blunt force. This form ended as well and the next one began, this one lifting him lightly onto the balls of his feet as he spun with masterful finesse.

He continued on through the motions of each form, completely unaware of his surroundings. By the time he was nearing the end of the last few forms, he was feeling the years of disuse pulling at his muscles. His breathing was hard and sharp and sweat saturated his undershirt. He had pulled back his hair, which he had let go long over the years, into a short ponytail, but several strands had come loose and were sticking to his forehead. With a final overhead strike, he completed the last form and stood panting. His weight was balanced between both bent legs, but they trembled as he remained still for a moment catching his breath.

A light smattering of applause caused him to open his eyes hastily and finally refocus on his environment. He had gathered a small crowd and they were now clapping in genuine approval. He bowed hurriedly to them and, for some reason, thanked them for watching, and then bowed himself quickly off the mat. He wiped down the sweat from the wooden sword and replaced it gently on the rack, trying to ignore the crowd that still lingered.

“That was an impressive display, sir,” a voice came from behind him.

He turned to find a young man in training gear approach him eagerly. Xie Lian waved awkwardly. “Ah, thank you. I’m a little rusty so I’m afraid there is much to improve upon,”

There were several other wide-eyed cadets beginning to gather around him. Questions and exclamations started to bounce around as he tried to extricate himself from their attention. What was the name of that fourth form? That sequence of stabs was so fast! Are you a new instructor?

A light cough from behind caused them all to immediately fall in line and stand stiffly at attention, several of them having the grace to look a bit embarrassed by their behavior. Ling Wen walked out in front of them and waited silently until they all stopped shuffling. Xie Lian tried to step away so that Ling Wen could deal with the excitable youths, but she held up a hand silently requesting him to remain put.

She eyed over the bunch and then took some notes in her tablet and he saw some of the kids wince as they knew they were probably going to be assigned extra cleaning duties due to their momentary lapse in discipline. She then clipped her stylus back to her tablet and gestured back to Xie Lian.

“Cadets, this is Captain Xie Lian. You will be sparring with him today to assess potential drift compatibility,”

Xie Lian balked and flicked his eyes across the crowd, now recognizing some of the faces from the roster he had been shown yesterday. Some of them snuck glances in his direction while trying to maintain their stiff postures and prove that they were indeed disciplined and deserved to be there. His eyes were drawn to that young man who had initially come up and greeted him when he had completed his forms. He was staring the most openly in shock at Xie Lian, his mouth slightly ajar. When he met Xie Lian’s eyes, his face grew stormy and he clacked his teeth shut and returned his gaze to the front, looking angered. Xie Lian was taken aback, but after glancing around at the other cadets, none seemed to share this youths fury.

How had he upset someone already? 

He was distracted by this off-putting encounter and missed what Ling Wen was saying. She had obviously provided some sort of instructions to the cadets, as, all at once, they stepped off to the side in tandem, leaving one lone person at the edge of the mat. They grabbed a short staff and bowed themselves into the square. She had obviously told them the order in which they were to spar with Xie Lian. He hoped he hadn’t missed anything else important.

She turned once again to him. “Any of them who are able to strike at least two points will be considered for the tests this afternoon,”

He breathed out with relief that it seemed to be the standard match rules he was accustomed to. There were four bouts, each ending when the opponent could land a strike on the other or lock them in a hold. If they were evenly matched, they would easily each win two bouts. Xie Lian had never matched anybody who could land more than one point.

He sighed, accepting that he might as well get this over with, and grabbed a short staff of his own. He bowed back into the square and they began.

His muscles were still sore from his warm-up with the sword forms and he was clearly lacking the stamina of youth, but he still defeated each opponent swiftly and efficiently. He thought he might have lost some of his old instincts, but he was pleased to find that his body still remembered the proper movements. It also helped that these new cadets telegraphed their moves so far in advance that Xie Lian had them pinned before they could even follow through with the strike. The faces of the crowd of cadets, previously excited and hopeful for the chance to finally be a jaeger pilot, slowly fell as Xie Lian won match after match.

Only one girl, Cadet Ban Yue, surprised him and was able to strike a blow. She was a tiny little thing and was obviously used to being underestimated, because she was easily able to dodge under his staff and land a point at his collarbone. He grinned down at her as she stepped away, resetting for the next round. She reminded him of a little snake hiding in the grass until the opportune moment to pounce on her prey. Despite her slight frame, or perhaps because of it, she was able to sneak her way past his defenses. Unfortunately for her, she was not quite experienced enough against an adaptive opponent, and after that first bout, Xie Lian had adjusted to her unique approach and she did not land another hit. She seemed disappointed, but accepted her defeat with more grace than some of the other cadets had. If Ling Wen were smart, which he knew she was, she would be paying particular attention to that one.

None of the other candidates came close but Xie Lian was starting to get tired. He glanced over at the remaining line to see how many more matches he had to endure, but there was surprisingly only one left. The young man from before stepped onto the mats with a scowl. Xie Lian tried to smile politely, but his face only seemed to grow dark before he turned and set himself into position.

Ling Wen cleared her throat, “Match twenty-three. Cadet Lang Qianqiu versus Captain Xie Lian. Salute,”

They bowed to Ling Wen as their referee, to the audience, and then finally to each other. Kind of. Xie Lian completed his bow, but the young man, Lang Qianqiu, just nodded stiffly. Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. What could he have possibly done to this boy, who was probably not even 20 years old?

Ling Wen had barely given the signal to start when he rushed at Xie Lian, stabbing immediately and quickly for a vital point. Xie Lian deflected it and twisted to shift off to the side as Lang Qianqiu lost his balance. He recovered quickly and struck again, his swings powerful and full of passion. Xie Lian was tired from the previous matches and this youth's strength served him well. He was able to dodge the strikes but many came close to meeting their target.

After a particularly wild swipe, Xie Lian dove in and took the first point. Grinding his teeth, Lang Qianqiu knocked the sword away with his own and paced back to position to reset. Xie Lian looked over to Ling Wen, wondering if he should stop this match before the young man fully acted upon whatever rage he was holding onto. She was frowning at the boy, but did not seem inclined to call an end. Xie Lian turned back to Lang Qianqiu.

“Ah, Cadet, there seems to be something you are upset about. Perhaps, we should end here and we can talk about it?” Xie Lian offered the olive branch hoping that he could get him to calm down a little.

“Talk about it?” Lang Qianqiu laughed almost cruelly, “I’d rather just fight,” and at that he raced forward, completely ignoring the beginning bow.

Xie Lian blocked and immediately took the point to Lang Qianqiu’s completely open side. He was moving with intense focus and did not recognize the point had been called. He turned around to continue his flurry of attacks when Ling Wen raised her voice and said again louder, “Point called, Cadet. Reset,”

He backed down with almost a growl and strode back to position. Xie Lian raised his hands in what he hoped was a placating manner.

“Fighting doesn’t help much if you can’t focus and direct your energy to a worthy goal. Maybe we should step back and--”

“I have a worthy goal,” he shouted and once again began the bout without the traditional bow in. This time he was more watchful of his openings, but he still came at Xie Lian with intensity. “My goal is to defeat the man responsible for destroying my city and murdering my parents!”

Xie Lian froze, blood going cold and heart pounding in his ears, not out of exertion but out of dread. In his moment of panic, Lang Qianqiu landed a blow and did not hold back as he followed the strike though. It caught Xie Lian in the side and he skidded to the floor, his breath knocked out and his mind trying to play catch up.  _ Lang _ Qianqiu..

The young man stood over him, holding the wooden short staff as menacingly as if he were holding a sharp steel sword. He gritted his teeth and hissed down at Xie Lian. “How dare they consider putting  _ you _ back in a jaeger. Haven’t you done enough damage? Haven’t you torn enough families apart?”

He went in for another strike, despite this round having been called. As Ling Wen was about to race forward and finally put a halt to the match, Xie Lian caught the strike with his own staff and, in a quick succession of moves, had Lang Qianqiu pinned down before she could even step onto the mat. He struggled against Xie Lian’s hold, but Xie Lian had him pinned.

With a sigh, Xie Lian said quietly, “I’m sorry for your loss. I take responsibility for Yong’an’s destruction and.. For the death of your parents,” he paused and then slowly released the passionate young man from the hold, “and I agree with you that they are probably making the wrong choice in bringing me back,” he stepped back slowly and bowed respectfully, “But I am following the orders of my superiors and intend to do what I can to make amends,”

He bowed to the audience, who were staring at the two in confusion, and then to Ling Wen, who had made her way between the two. From his respectful bow to Ling Wen, he spoke quietly, “I’m sorry that none of these candidates worked out. May I be dismissed?”

She looked at him and after a moment, sighed and nodded, turning back to deal with Lang Qianqiu.

Xie Lian slowly gathered his things and left the gym, feeling significantly more exhausted than a simple training session should have left him.

  
  


***

  
  


Xie Lian was fighting for his life at the edge of the city, barely holding the burly kaiju back from the coast. He just had to hold out until reinforcements arrived. And so he grappled. The joints of his jaeger groaned at the pressure as the terrible strength of the beast pushed against him. He tried to find an opportunity to weaken the kaiju’s balance and force it to the ground somehow, hoping to get it into a hold long enough for his sword to click into place and strike the final blow. But the kaiju had different ideas. It’s head, sunk deep into its body with no neck visible, suddenly extended like a turtle emerging from its shell. It struck quickly, headbutting him directly in the cockpit. He cried out as he toppled backwards, the creature taking its chance to pounce on the metal carapace and sink it deep into the mud. Xie Lian gave a mighty defiant roar and tried to pull the jaeger upright against the massive weight.

He gritted his teeth at the effort as the creature's face came into view through the shattered window of the head. He almost thought it was grinning as it raised its jowls, revealing dangerous rows of teeth. Xie Lian sneered back and stared it straight in the eyes, trying to prove that he wasn’t afraid of it and that he was going to win. He wouldn’t let them ravage the cities like they wanted to. He was going to protect the people. He was going to--

The blue abyss.

As disorienting as it usually was, it was especially disconcerting now as he found himself floating formlessly in the dark, rather than midst-battle with a kaiju. Had he fainted? The system would have warned him if his blood oxygen levels were low, but he couldn’t recall any warnings flashing across his helmet. He usually only found himself in this dense place when he slept. The nightmares were constant, but he had learned to live with them over the last few months. He had never ended up here when he was awake. He frantically tried to wake himself up. If he had truly fainted, then the kaiju would easily pass him and head directly into the city. He needed to find a way back to consciousness. 

“But isn’t it so nice and quiet here?” the voice whispered to him, directionless as always.

“I don’t want quiet, I need to fight!” he cried out, pleading, “Please let me go back!” 

The voice shushed him as if he were a child having a tantrum and he felt a chill as he was enveloped by this unknowable force. He struggled, but didn’t understand against whom he fought or how his formless mind was even resisting in the first place.

“Why would you want to fight? What good would it do? Haven’t those people expressed their distrust in you? All it took was one failure and they turn their backs on you, doubting you and criticizing every move. They can’t be pleased. They won’t ever be pleased,” The soft voice was reverberating through his entire being, “These battles won’t end; you know this, you feel this. Soon they’ll grow tired of you and reject your help, crying for a new savior and throwing you away. They’ll all die in the end, it’s inevitable. Why waste your energy trying to protect them when all you’re doing is postponing their fate?”

Xie Lian wished tears existed in this place to help him feel his sorrow. Instead, it just echoed in the emptiness, the emotion seemingly lending strength to the entity while sapping it from him. Shapes coalesced in the abyss, white nebula merging and forming into something his struggling mind translated as person-shaped. Arms extended around him and pulled him in tight. It turned it’s shifting face down to him and spoke gently, almost sweetly.

“Just stay here with me. You and I can watch as the universe corrects itself and you will finally be free,”

Xie Lian’s consciousness was drifting, but he hung on those words, focusing. His voice came out small but strong, “There’s nothing to correct,”

He could feel the figure stiffen. Xie Lian pushed a little more, fighting against the enveloping presence.

“There is everything to correct,” the voice was measured, stern but not angry.

Xie Lian pushed harder, “No! Even if things aren’t perfect, this much death and destruction isn’t the way to fix it,”

With a final yank he pulled himself free of the entity’s hold. What he took for its face was twisting and swirling in agitation and Xie Lian wrenched himself away. A sneer formed as quickly as it was replaced by a sad look of disappointment.

Xie Lian could feel himself returning to his body, his formless mind grabbing hold of that physical sensation and holding on tight.

He heard a sigh echoing in his mind. “Death and destruction are a means to an end. You’ll understand in time,”

“I won’t! I will protect them! You won’t win!”

The voice chuckled. “We’ll see,”

Xie Lian gasped as he opened his eyes, disoriented. He was still in the cockpit, hooked up but laying limply in the hold of the control mechanisms. Everything around him was quiet except for the flashing lights and disjointed warnings from the computers overlapping each other as they told him all the errors occurring.

He pressed a quick succession of buttons on a control panel near his head and the arm and leg connections disengaged, releasing him from their hold. He stepped awkwardly out of the boots and dropped himself down to the floor, which was usually the wall when the jaeger stood upright. After a quick effort of moving debris and squeezing through the broken door, he worked his way across the ladder that led up to the top of the head. With a grunt he released the hatch and pushed himself out onto the exterior of the helmet. It was dark, but he thought he could see some light over the shoulder of the jaeger. He made his way up to the edge of the shoulder plates, slick from the rain, thinking that he could light his emergency flare from the top and flag down his rescue team.

He crested the top of the plate and looked out over the distance, trying to discern where he even was or whether reinforcements had arrived in time to stop the kaiju from getting to the city. It took him a moment to figure out what he was looking at, because he could not believe his eyes. In the distance, he saw the felled kaiju. It was split in two by the shore a mile or two away, its blood glowing incandescent on the rolling waves. Normally, the city would have obstructed his view of the coastline from here, but as he looked around in horror, he saw that it had been razed to the ground in almost a wide path from the shore to where his jaeger had fallen. Buildings were levelled, smooth cuts showing where something had sliced neatly through the hard concrete. The fires that dotted the landscape casting a flickering glow on the damage, as if ghosts were dancing on the carnage.

The kaiju must have used the last of its strength to toss him through the city. But how had it gotten him this far inland when it’s corpse was clearly butting up against the sea wall? His eyes drifted from destroyed building to destroyed building until he paused, focusing on the one collapsed right next to him. As his eyes adjusted in the inconsistent light of the fires around him, he froze in horror, realizing what it was that was laying next to him. It was a second jaeger, the Gilded Peace, his reinforcements.

It lay there unmoving, his sword driven straight through the cockpit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to stick with me! See you next chapter :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, I'm sorry this one took a minute! I honestly struggled to find the smoothest transitions between the scenes here and it still feels a little uncoordinated. I knew where I needed to get, but figuring out how the conversations would flow was tougher than I thought it would be! 
> 
> Please forgive the science-y speak for it's inaccuracies! It is harder than I realized to make fictional science stuff seem legit. Hope it makes sense!!
> 
> BUT!! Unless my inconsistent chapter lengths get in the way, we are narrowing in on Hua Cheng's grand entrance!!

Xie Lian sighed and ran his hands through his hair, releasing what was left of his ponytail and combing the sweaty strands back away from his face. It was significantly cooler outside the gym and he found himself eventually putting his overshirt and jacket back on, though he left them unbuttoned. He was sore from the training, but he relished the feeling, letting it ground him in reality and focus on something other than that mess of a match. He frowned to himself as he walked aimlessly through the halls. 

Had Ling Wen known? 

She must have.. But perhaps she didn’t anticipate the young man’s extreme reaction. Maybe she was hoping it would be cathartic for them both.

He grimaced, feeling that the poor boy did not deserve to have been put in that situation. But then again, perhaps he should get the chance to avenge his parents. Maybe Xie Lian could give him that and take his burdens. What was one more face in the sea of people who were disappointed, angry, or ..gone. Xie Lian stumbled as his memories overcame him. He clutched at the wall for balance with one hand and pressed the heel of his palm into his eyes, forcing back tears. He stood hunched leaning against the gray metal wall of the hallway, focus going inward as his breath came out in shaky gasps. 

It took him a moment before sound got through to him and he heard someone asking, “Are you okay?”

He froze and looked up to find a random passerby staring at him, seeming both concerned and uneasy. They looked like they were about to reach toward him to help somehow, but he hurriedly pushed off the wall and waved his hands emphatically.

“Ah, no I’m fine, just low blood sugar!” he immediately began walking away, pasting a smile and showing the stranger that everything was normal.

“The cafeteria is probably still open, if you hurry!” the kind person yelled at his quickly retreating back.

He waved back in thanks and sped his pace up to get out of sight faster.

He was most definitely not going to the cafeteria. But now that he was moving, he allowed his body to work with the flow of inertia to carry him forward. The pounding of his heart matched pace with the sound of his boots echoing down the stark hallways. He did his best to focus on that one single sense and lose himself in the metronome of his stride. His feet carried him along the paths of his old home base, following ingrained routes that he used to travel daily. 

One turn could have taken him to his bunk, but the steady movement of walking was helping his mind calm down so he took the opposing path. He came across another split in the path, but that one led to the mech shop and he didn’t want to risk running into Feng Xin or Mu Qing right now; he took the other option. He did not hesitate at all to avoid the route that led to the hangar and the tall jaegers. When once he would have made a beeline to the glorious machines, he now made in the complete opposite direction. 

While one half of his mind was focused on keeping his feet moving, the other half was singularly focused on avoiding any familiar routes. So much so, that when he came to a set of stairs going down, he almost followed through on that step into open air. He paused, reset his foot and blinked, finally focusing on his surroundings and he discovered that.. He had no idea where he was.

He hesitated and turned around, looking down the hallway behind him, but did not remember what directions he had turned to come here. However non-descript the hallways at the base were, he had traversed the same routes countless times in his years here and had never gotten lost, but he now found himself in a completely unknown area. He thought for a moment, tapping his chin, considering whether or not to venture forward or try to find his way back. Ling Wen might be looking for him..

Decision made, he followed the steps downward. 

He knew that he had not come through any doors, nor had to pass through any checkpoints, so this was obviously not a restricted area, but Xie Lian could not for the life of him remember this set of stairs existing before. He came down to a landing and as he looked around the corner, he saw an additional final set of stairs leading out to a hallway that seemed lit with a bright light. He was intrigued, and glad for the distraction of discovering something new, and so hopped the last couple steps down to see what this new area was.

A wide, long hallway stretched before him with several doors on each side, but the walls of the hallway had large windows that opened up to show big open rooms with bright fluorescent lights casting away any potential shadow. He moved up to peek through the window of the closest one. There were large glass vats filled with liquid and hooked up to machines that were monitoring a mass of something floating in it. Carts and gurneys littered the room, several occupied by strange lumps he couldn’t quite see from this angle and smells of antiseptic permeated the air. It was slowly dawning on him that this must be the research lab.

How had he never visited here before? The scientists studying the kaiju had been crucial to their understanding of the creatures and he knew that it was by their effort that they had gained their best tools to fight back. A small ashamed part of him realized that he had been so singularly focused on his jaeger and fighting that he never paid the proper respects for these hard-working people. He inwardly cringed at the memories of his young self striding through the base like he owned it; realizing now how narrow his view had been. He wondered to himself what other departments of this operation he had overlooked.

“Did you take the stairs?” came a bewildered voice, a laugh playing at the edges of their tone.

He looked up from his reverie, realizing that he had been caught in thought still peeking from the end of the stairwell he came down. He coughed in embarrassment and smiled awkwardly at the person who had addressed him. As he looked to the stranger, his mind had trouble taking in their appearance as it seemed so.. out of place. The Task Force was essentially a military operation, though they did conduct themselves separately from any single country, but this person seemed to have ignored the fact that they were practically in the midst of a full-out war and seemed more ready for a vacation at the beach. 

They had oversized sunglasses on the top of their head, holding back long loose hair that fell over their shoulder onto a light-weight seafoam green cardigan that billowed loosely in the sleeves. A ruffley peach top was tucked into high-waisted white palazzo pants. And were those sandals?

“Ah, yes,” Xie Lian answered the earlier question, and then chuckled, “I just got a little turned around,”

The person let out a puff of amusement, “I’ll say! That’s supposed to be the fire exit, but they wind it aaaalll the way around the back of the base,” they gestured in a broad sweep of their hands, which Xie Lian had just realized were both holding coffee cups. He was glad they had the plastic top closed over them or he felt he might have been seeking a change of clothes soon. “You could take two trips with the elevator-- which is sooo slow-- and you’d still be walking!” They gestured behind them and Xie Lian could see a wide set of elevator doors on the far end of the hallway.

He smiled and angled himself away in that direction to indicate his intent to head back, “That is an unfortunate design,” he began, but was cut off. This person seemed excited to be talking to him for some reason.

“It is! Ming-xiong doesn’t complain -- well he does, but he technically complains about everything so it doesn’t count-- but they just stuffed all the researchers down here because it had the biggest space -- it was storage or something before-- and they didn’t even think about how inconvenient getting down here would be!” Before Xie Lian could get a word in, he was being swept up in this person's animated energy and he found himself walking beside them as they headed to the doors to one of the labs. “I mean, it’s as far from the caf as you could possibly get! The coffee never stays warm that long, which is probably a good thing,” They angled their hip up to a panel next to the door and Xie Lian realized there was a prox badge clipped to the waistband of their pants. The door slid open with a hiss, “Because Ming-xiong always chugs it as soon as--”

“Shoes,” came a curt voice from inside the lab as Xie Lian saw a tall gloomy man passing by and grabbing one of the coffees. He did not acknowledge Xie Lian. Xie Lian thought this was probably “Ming-xiong” then, and he realized he never caught the chatty person's name. They were whining good-naturedly at the back of the man, but still immediately went over to a row of cubbies on the wall by the door and traded out the sandals for a pair of closed toes slip-ons.

Xie Lian did not intend to stay as he was still not sure if he wanted to be around people. He hovered at the edge of the lab and gently interjected, “Thank you for pointing me to the elevator. I don’t want to keep you,”

The tall man looked up as if startled to see someone there, then glared at the other, “Shi Qingxuan I told you to stop bringing people to my lab and interrupting my work,”

The person, Shi Qingxuan, bounced over to the man’s side and looked around his shoulder at whatever he was working on. “I didn’t bring this one, he just showed up,” they blinked and looked up, “Actually, I’m not even sure who you are,”

Xie Lian smiled stiffly, “Ah, no you probably wouldn’t since I just arrived yesterday,”

“Oh! Did you transfer in from one of the other closed down bases? South America just finished closing up, right?”

“No, I’m not a transfer.. More of a recall, I suppose,” he tried to keep a pleasant look on his face, but itched to get away.

“Well welcome, then!” Shi Qingxuan spread their arms wide, and in a swift movement, Xie Lian found himself dragged into the lab. “No wonder you got lost if you’re new to the base. This is Ming Yi, my best friend!”

“No,” Ming Yi shot back, not looking at them.

“My best scientist!” Shi Qingxuan corrected themselves with a mischievous glint in their eye. Ming Yi did not respond and just strode deeper into the lab.

“Ming Yi is the lead on the project studying kaiju brains or something. I don’t know half of what he says, but it’s all super important,”

“And classified,” came Ming Yi’s voice from around a tall machine.

Shi Qingxuan stuck out their tongue quietly in his direction but then looked back at Xie Lian with a more serious and discerning eye than he was expecting from the peppy person. “I’m sure your clearance is fine,” they pointed to Xie Lian’s own badge. “Are you that pilot that just came in then? The one trying to get the sword jaeger up and running?”

Xie Lian winced slightly, but did his best to hide his discomfort as he finally was able to formally introduce himself, “Yes, my name is Xie Lian and I will be operating whichever jaeger they retrofit for the attachment,”

Shi Qingxuan gave a sudden bright smile and lept forward to squeeze Xie Lian’s hands with excited fervor, “Yay! I’m Shi Qingxuan, pilot of the Shui Feng with my brother Shi Wudu! I can’t wait to see the sword working! I’ve only ever seen some old clips on TV but it looks so fun,”

Xie Lian was in shock. He couldn’t believe that the person standing in front of him was a jaeger pilot like him. They were so happy, so full of life; genuinely excited at the prospect to work alongside him. They did look pretty young so they probably didn’t know the full extent of Xie Lian’s history, but as a pilot, they would have been briefed-- or at least heard gossip-- on him. He felt eyes on him and looked over to find Ming Yi staring at him with an unreadable expression, though it didn’t feel angry, more curious. Xie Lian gently extricated himself from Shi Qingxuan’s hold and put some space between them.

“There have been some, ehm, set-backs which may force you to wait a little longer before seeing it in action,” Xie Lian said, unable to hold back his weary tone.

“Yeah, I’ve heard they’ve been having trouble retrofitting the Mark 4’s for the tech--”

“Everyone’s heard,” Ming Yi’s muttered grumble cut in.

“They do tend to echo in the hangar,” Shi Qingxuan giggled and Xie Lian gave a small genuine smile at that. “I don’t get why they don’t just use a Mark 1, since it’s already all set up for it and everything,”

“There were only a couple in production and they stopped making them entirely once the Mark 2’s came out because they were so difficult to handle,” Xie Lian explained quietly. “Many had their parts repurposed for the 2’s,”

“Really?” Shi Qingxuan was a continuous font of curiosity, “I’ve seen a Mark 2 before and it doesn’t look so different from a Mark 5, so the 1’s can’t have been too different, right?”

“The Mark 1 was the first attempt and so was designed with more experimentation than actual pragmatic use. Mark 1’s were notoriously difficult to handle; not many could actually pilot one competently..” Xie Lian trailed off, feeling drained.

“But you did, right?” Shi Qingxuan asked breathlessly, “That’s why they brought you in?”

Xie Lian simply nodded.

Shi Qingxuan whistled, impressed. “I was really young when this all started and our parents didn’t like us watching the news then. But I feel like I should remember you! Which one was your Jaeger? Who was your drift partner?”

Xie Lian flinched and drew away. “I.. no drift partner,” he muttered, desperately wanting to remove himself from this conversation.

Shi Qingxuan gasped, bringing their hands up to cover their mouth, “I’m so sorry! Is that why you left? Oh no, so that’s why I heard about testing new cadets for compatibility the other day! I can’t believe they are making you go through that!” They seemed genuinely upset for him.

Xie Lian just shook his head, “Ah, no, I never had a partner. I always drifted solo..”

They were silent, mouth open in shock and awe as Xie Lian inched himself toward the door. Several moments passed before Shi Qingxuan burst out, “That is so cool!!” They rushed up and gripped his hands tight. “I didn’t think that was even possible! Quan Yizhen took his jaeger out a couple times on his own because no one is crazy enough to drift with him anymore, but he basically puts himself in a coma for a week afterwards. But you can do it all one your own? That’s incredible, isn’t it Ming-xiong?” They turned their head to get acknowledgement from Ming Yi, but he just grunted with his back to them, focused on his work.

Shi Qingxuan turned back to Xie Lian, still gripping his hands. “Did you have any luck finding a new drift partner? Ge said that the chance of finding someone compatible enough is super low, which is why I got in even though I don’t have any of the whole soldier training,” they reached up and poked at some of the badges on Xie Lian’s jacket front. “If Ge hadn’t brought me in to try, he probably wouldn’t have been able to become a pilot either though! But we work, cause he has all the training, so I just sorta sit back and let him drive. I do get to fire all the cool weapons though,”

They released Xie Lian and made motions in the air mimicking the jaegers firing systems. Xie Lian frowned at their description of the drift. From his limited exposure to drifting with someone else, his impression had been that the link had to be equal, but Shi Qingxuan and their brother seemed to have a lopsided power balance. He watched as they jabbed inexpertly in the air, a large smile on their face and a carefree attitude completely unburdened by the responsibility they possessed. From their description, it was as if their brother just had them there to share the load, but took all the control and let them just float through the experience. 

The idea of relinquishing that control felt far too similar to his own experience and he held back a shudder at the thought.

He looked away uncomfortably from the chattering youth and his gaze landed on Ming Yi, who was holding up a beaker to a light, but whose eyes were watching Shi Qingxuan with a crease between his eyebrows. It seemed that Xie Lian was not the only person concerned about the strange drift dynamic. Ming Yi felt his eyes on him and returned to his work without saying a word. Xie Lian followed his line of sight and focused on the beaker in Ming Yi’s hand. With a jolt, he realized the man was holding a container full of kaiju blue.

He backed away, interrupting Shi Qingxuan’s continuous flow of words, “Ah! Not to impose on your research, but isn’t that dangerous? Shouldn’t we be wearing suits?” All Xie Lian’s experience and training told him to steer clear of the radioactive substance unless properly protected.

“It’s inert,” came the curt reply.

Shi Qingxuan lept over to the counter and leaned against it, angling up to see the blue blood through the light Ming Yi was shining through it. “Ming-xiong is studying the kaiju brain and the blood is apparently a part of the brain? He explains it better! It all looks like goo to me!”

Xie Lian hesitated but stepped nearer, curious about the research into the dense blue matter. His own history with the creature’s blood made him both wary and desperate to know more.

Ming Yi glanced at him briefly, before speaking in a dry rote manner, “I am researching the blood, kaiju blue, and it’s properties as they relate to the nerve receptors in the brain and communication between cells. Dangerous in its raw form, it has chemicals more often found in human brain fluid, allowing neural pathways to travel throughout the entire body. This is one of the reasons why we hypothesize they are able to move their large bulk so well in our atmosphere. It doesn’t mean they are smarter necessarily, but they are more aware of their entire body and able to react to their environments faster than something that large would typically move. The electrical impulses don’t have to travel all the way back to the brain for basic physical responses. The neural pathways seem to be ever moving, more like blood cells than nerves and remain semi-active for several hours after they’ve been destroyed. The dead neurons then decay into a radioactive waste material as they break apart, hence the danger inherent in the remains following a kaiju battle. The half-life of the active isotope in the neuron is shorter than most other instances of exponential decay on earth, which results in a detrimental burst of radioactive activity upon initial necroptosis but it becomes relatively stable within days of the creature’s death.”

Xie Lian went a little cross-eyed at the explanation and looked to Shi Qingxuan with raised eyebrows. “So.. it’s not radioactive now?”

“This sample is weeks old,” Ming Yi replied, frowning at them.

“I think that’s a yes,” Shi Qingxuan giggled. 

Xie Lian hesitated slightly, but gathered himself and asked, “What happens if a person comes into contact with the blood when it’s active?”

“The neurons in the bloodstream don’t die immediately, so the public has an hour or so after the death of the kaiju to evacuate the immediate area until it becomes a hazard. If a person comes into contact with the blood while it is radioactive, we have our standard radiation poisoning treatments that counteract any lasting side-effects so long as they get the treatment immediately.” Ming Yi eyed him slightly, “But, as a pilot veteran, I’m sure you are aware of this,”

Xie Lian smiled awkwardly and waved his hands, “Ah, yes it’s been awhile so I wondered if we had learned anything new!”

Ming Yi turned and clicked a few buttons and brought up some graphs onto a nearby screen. “One thing we have learned is that the living neurons stay alive and seem to remain connected to the brain of the kaiju. They can exist outside of the bloodstream for several minutes so long as the kaiju is also still alive. It has been challenging for us to study because the samples must be collected and examined before the creature dies completely so we have only managed to obtain data from several battles over the past couple years.”

Xie Lian stared at the reports flashing across the screen.

“The best data we have is over ten years old where we were able to get a sample of kaiju blue that had contaminated the subjects bloodstream while the creature lived. The neurons of the blood cells actually ended up living far past the standard range of viability, surviving in the bloodstream hours after the kaiju had died. This indicates that the neural pathways have some compatibility with our own biological nerve program.” Ming Yi frowned slightly, “Unfortunately, this is a second hand report from before I was assigned to research here so I am working off of someone else’s conclusions. I would have preferred to study the subject myself, but we haven’t had a similar sample become available since then.”

Xie Lian knew that he was still talking, but he had stopped listening.

Suddenly, with a groan and a flop across the table Shi Qingxuan complained loudly, “Ming-xiong, too much! Too much! We’re both going to die of boredom over here,”

Ming Yi snapped his mouth shut and glared at them. “Leave then, if I’m so boring,”

Shi Qingxuan bounced up and grabbed Xie Lian by the elbow, dragged him along, “I’ll be back with food later,” they shouted back, leaving the gloomy man behind.

Xie Lian allowed himself to be pulled, thankful for the rescue from the conversation, though the intent of the rescue was for a different reason than he was feeling. They came to the elevator and Shi Qingxuan poked at the button for them to return to the upper floors.

“Do you think you’ll be able to find someone compatible?” They said, bringing Xie Lian’s attention back to the present.

“They have some candidates,” Xie Lian deflected, smiling slightly.

“It’s too bad they can’t just build another Mark 1 for you!” The doors opened and they both stepped into the wide freight elevator.

“I’m afraid the specs for each one were unique to the individual jaeger and not easily replicable; and I don’t believe the Task Force has the resources to create something from scratch that they aren’t even sure will work,” he paused, “And besides, it is standard procedure for there to be two pilots so a true Mark 1 is out of the question,”

Shi Qingxuan shrugged, “Well I just think it’d be easier to make the sword work on something that was actually made for it, ya know? And can’t they just update the cockpit for two?”

Xie Lian paused, considering. It is true that the apparatus would be significantly more efficient on a system that was built to accommodate, rather than forced to function with it. But he sighed and said sadly, “That still doesn’t solve the problem of not having a Mark 1 to begin with,”

“What about, like, museums and stuff?” They pulled out a phone and started tapping around faster than Xie Lian had seen anybody type.

“I doubt that any museum would have a fully functional Mark 1 or else the Task Force would have commandeered it somehow. If there is anything, it would be bits and pieces that would be useless for our purposes,”

The elevator door dinged open and Xie Lian stepped out first. He did recognize this floor and decided it was finally time to just rest in his bunk. He was about to turn and say his farewell to the exuberant young pilot, but they shoved their phone in his face and said excitedly, “What about a blueprint?”

Xie Lian jerked back and focused his eyes on the screen. As he read the words of the article that Shi Qingxuan had pulled up, his heart lept with excitement. He slowly pulled the phone from their hands and gently moved the screen to read the rest of the article.

_ Page from blueprint of unnamed Jaeger series Mark 1 _

_ Origin unknown, date approx. 2008-2009 _

_ This page is an excerpt of the most complete collection of Mark 1 schematics from the early years of the kaiju encounters. They are unattributed to a specific jaeger or facility but iterations of the mechanics can be seen on successive jaeger plans. These plans are privately owned and photography or unauthorized replication is not permitted without express written permission from the owner. _

_ On Loan from a  _ _ private collection _ _. _

Xie Lian stared for a moment then clicked on the link provided for the collection. The page loaded and Xie Lian saw row after row of memorabilia and documents about the Mark 1 Jaegers. Near the bottom of the list, he saw that there were even whole parts and mechanisms of the jaegers themselves, and the notations indicated that these were only a small part of a larger collection.

He scrolled back up to the description of the private collection:

_ HC Collection _

_ The private collection of donor HC is on display at the Qiandeng Museum of Kaiju Research. The collection consists of artifacts, samples, and documents collected by the donor over the course of an independently funded investigation into the kaiju phenomenon. This month’s display focuses on early developments of jaeger tech. This collection is not available for sale, trade, or loan without prior written authorization from the owner. For private viewings, please contact the museum curator to request an appointment. _

“Where is this museum?” Xie Lian asked Shi Qingxuan softly.

“Hmm,” they grabbed the phone back and tapped through a few screens. “Oh, lucky! It’s actually nearby. Ghost City is only a 20 minute copter ride away!”

“Ghost City?” Xie Lian cocked his head, confused at the unknown name. He had spent years here, but had never heard of this city supposedly right next door.

“Yes! Well that’s technically not it’s official name. I don’t think it has an official name anymore? It’s built over a city that was lost in one of the early kaiju attacks. I don’t know much about it, but we apparently couldn’t stop it before it completely leveled the city,” Shi Qingxuan translated Xie Lian pale face as shock at the event, “I know it’s so sad! We haven’t lost a whole city like that for ages now!” They seemed proud of their work and Xie Lian did not have the heart to dampen their mood with his own issues, “The government condemned the whole place, but people sorta took it back and rebuilt. It still is registered as a condemned area, but it’s actually turned into a super fun place to sneak away for a little night out!”

They wrapped their arm around Xie Lian and grinned sneakily, “We should totally go soon! You could check out that museum and let loose a little too! You look like you need it,”

“I..” His mind was reeling. How was he supposed to respond? He had just learned that the part of Yong’An he razed was now a lively yet illegal city. Was he supposed to feel upset at the potential disrespect of the people's memory? Happy that life was continuing on despite it all? Mostly he just felt ill and was suppressing an urge to run away completely.

But he also knew that he couldn’t, so he chose to focus on something familiar.

“This collection may actually have pieces we can use if this is only a small example of what the donor has. I need to talk with Feng Xin and Mu Qing and see why they haven’t used this resource..”

“Oh, that’s an easy one! Task Force members aren’t allowed in Ghost City,” Shi Qingxuan said this gleefully as if they themselves were not one of the afore-mentioned Task Force members.

Xie Lian blinked. “We.. are not allowed?”

“Yeah something about some anti-military agenda-- or maybe just an anti-Task Force agenda? Anyway, because they are not officially recognized, they sort of function as their own little country almost! I think they even have some sort of government? Whatever it is, it makes for a hell of a night out on the town!”

“But.. if you aren’t allowed..?”

Shi Qingxuan winked, “Ah, but there’s the fun in it! The thrill that you may get caught! Also, it’s a pretty open secret that everybody goes. We just don’t flaunt it and it’s fine,”

Xie Lian sighed and gently removed Shi Qingxuan’s arm from around his shoulder. “Thank you for the invitation, but I don’t think that I will be joining you.” He smiled, “I will probably see if Ling Wen knows anything about the donor and maybe we can arrange something,”

Shi Qingxuan laughed, and commented, “If anyone could get you an in, it’s Ling Wen!”

Xie Lian waved them off at the next corner and stood contemplating for a moment before turning and following the corridors toward the Command Center. 

“I’m afraid that is not an option,” 

Xie Lian stood with Ling Wen as she tapped away on her keyboard, fingers flying and eyes obviously straining against the harsh blue light.

“Ah, well I was just wondering if it wouldn’t hurt to ask what they have, since there has been some trouble with the retrofit and I haven’t found, ehm, anyone compatible yet,” He tried to stay poised but couldn’t help shuffling his feet uncomfortably. “I do apologize for the incident with young Lang Qianqiu this morning. Had I known who he was I would have refused the match,”

She sighed and paused her typing to look up at him.

“Captain, I should be the one to apologize. We have kept details of your incident classified and I did not know that he had pieced together so much to identify you in such a way. He will be receiving some demerits and we have a briefing scheduled to inform him of the sensitive nature of the situation.”

Xie Lian waved his hands, “Please do not punish the boy on my account! He had every right to react in the manner that he did and,” he paused and coughed awkwardly, “He wasn’t wrong about anything,”

Ling Wen frowned but moved on, “I am currently researching other candidates that we can have brought in to try again. There are other options we can pursue. As for the Mark 1 collection..” she grimaced, “It’s not like we haven’t tried. That man has gotten his hands on almost every remaining item related to the Mark 1 Jaegers and he refuses to even let us know the full extent of his collection. It has actually made our job incredibly difficult,”

Xie Lian was taken aback, “So you were aware that there was Mark 1 technology out there? Feng Xin and Mu Qing seem to be working from scratch! Surely, this person can be reasonable enough to help out a little given the current world situation,”

“Every time we have tried to initiate contact, we can’t even speak to the man himself-- he always works through a proxy. We’ve had some of our researchers even go as civilians to look at the collection, but somehow he can identify anyone who works at the base and kicks them out. We suspect he has an informant, but we haven’t been able to find out who,” She massaged her forehead in frustration.

Xie Lian tapped his chin in thought, grimacing at the prospect of what he was about to suggest.

“Ehm, Commander, I don’t suppose someone who has been retired for ten years and only just got back would be recognized in a new city that easily, would they? And I'm sure the curator wouldn't mind a new person admiring the collection?”

She looked up at him, an eyebrow cocked, considering, “It has only been a day. Everyone is aware of a veteran pilot coming to the base, but your face has most likely not had time to circulate. But, I can’t promise how long the anonymity will last,”

Xie Lian sighed, “Yes, I should think that I would only be able to take advantage of that for the next day or so,” he paused, “I do hate to request leave from the base as soon as I arrive,”

Ling Wen swiped through several screens and then nodded, “Request granted,”

Xie Lian bowed respectfully, truly appreciating Ling Wen’s efficiency and flexibility. He was about to leave, but then paused and turned back, asking, “I believe I would be well served with a guide. Could you grant leave to one more person,”

Ling Wen looked shocked for a moment but composed herself quickly. “That is doable. Who will be joining you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me! Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long because I've got it pretty laid out already.
> 
> See you soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have a plan, sometimes the characters come up and smack you in the face and drag you where they want to go. Hua Cheng is definitely that character. He wants to find his gege!!!
> 
> Once again, I am completely inconsistent with my chapter lengths so here is almost 8,000 words I guess?? I'm pleased with it and we are really rolling now.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Xie Lian looked at the new clothes Ling Wen had requisitioned for him and eyed the sharp starched edges of the shirts hung stiffly on hangers. He squatted down and reached further into the closet to pull out his duffel, rummaging for a moment before pulling out some soft bundles of clothing. His wardrobe over the years had narrowed down to the essentials and he only had a few items, but they were familiar and worn-down in a comfortable way. He’d picked most of the loose threads already and the countless wash cycles they had been through had removed any itchy fibers. He hummed contentedly and layered up-- shirt to sweater to jacket, each successive layer hiding any holes from the previous layer. He wrapped a scarf around his neck and slipped on a pair of gloves and, after a brief look in the mirror, figured he looked as far from a Task Force member as he could be. 

He was not particularly excited about this expedition; he felt as worn at the edges as the scarf around his neck. But he knew an opportunity when he saw it and he wasn’t going to let his problems get in the way of a successful operation if he could do something about it. If this person was so protective of their collection against the Task Force, then a new face was the only chance they would get. Plus, Xie Lian was intimately familiar with Mark 1 technology so he could at least identify if there was anything they could use.

He slid open the door to his bunk and stepped out into the hallway. 

And ran straight into Mu Qing. 

They both stared at each other in shock and then Xie Lian stepped back and smiled, apologizing, “Ah, my apologies I was walking a little fast, please you first” he gestured for Mu Qing to continue his trajectory to whatever destination he was headed toward.

Mu Qing folded his arms and looked away, “I actually came to talk to you,”

Xie Lian’s smile froze on his lips but he gave a light laugh, “Well, here I am! What did you want to talk about?”

Mu Qing tapped his finger against his arm, an old habit that gave Xie Lian a warm sense of nostalgia. People always thought that Mu Qing was stiff and still, and compared to Feng Xin he was, but Xie Lian had learned to read his moods in the tempo of that tapping finger. And right now Mu Qing was angry. Xie Lian waited patiently for Mu Qing to start.

With a grit of his teeth, Mu Qing barked, “Why the hell are you going to Ghost City? And with  _ them _ of all people?”

Xie Lian sighed and rubbed at his neck. He figured that either Mu Qing or Feng Xin would hear about him going out tonight, but he was hoping that he’d be able to deal with them in the morning. “I will be visiting the museum there. We need as much information about the Mark 1 tech as we can get and from what I’ve seen online, there might be things that could help us--”

“We don’t need anything that asshole has,” Mu Qing sneered stiffly.

Xie Lian was placating, “We don’t even know what the full extent of the collection is. We need to see if the donor can be persuaded to let us see what he has,”

“He can’t be reasoned with and definitely won’t give anything useful to us,”

Xie Lian blinked as he connected a couple more dots in his head and just looked gently at Mu Qing, “I guess you’ve tried already?”

Mu Qing dug his fingers into his arms that were still crossed. 

Xie Lian puffed out a breath, holding back a little laugh; Mu Qing was always so prideful and being outright denied something must have stung.

“I’m going tonight because I am new enough here that I may not be recognized as a member of the Task Force so I might be able to get closer than any of you have so far. I’m familiar enough with the Mark 1 to recognize if there may be something we can use,”

“We’re doing fine with the Mark 4 retrofit,” Mu Qing grumbled.

Xie Lian just raised his eyebrows and Mu Qing didn’t meet his eyes.

He sighed, his shoulders drooping a bit. “I’m not much better on my end.. I’m sure you heard about my lack of success in finding a compatible partner this morning?”

Mu Qing grunted.

“Ling Wen is researching other candidates to bring in. In the meantime, if I can help to get the Jaeger up and running..” his voice grew a little smaller, “I would like to be useful in some capacity while I can be,”

Mu Qing just stared at him for a moment and then sniffed and said, “Whatever.” He started to turn to walk away before tilting his head back and asking, “Oh yeah, why the hell are you bringing Shi Qingxuan though?”

Xie Lian laughed lightly, “Well I have no idea how to get around Ghost City. And if they are particularly unfriendly towards the Task Force, I figured I would request the aid of the most un-Task-Force-like person I have ever met,”

Mu Qing snorted and Xie Lian thought that he may have actually smiled at that. Mu Qing stood there for another moment more and then said quietly with his back still turned, “You know where Ghost City is? ..What it was?”

Xie Lian dropped his gaze and hummed an affirmative.

Mu Qing nodded, then hesitated as if he were about to say something, but decided against it and left. Xie Lian watched his retreating back and felt that Mu Qing had truly not changed over the years. 

  
  


***

Xie Lian leaned against the cold wall, knees tucked into his chest and tense arms clutching each other in a vice grip. He was still in his Jaeger suit, the neoprene now sticky from dried sweat. He vaguely recalled how he got here-- Jun Wu finding him motionless atop the jaeger, hard restraints being latched over his hands while he offered no resistance, a helicopter ride back to base, being locked in this room-- but he was having trouble piecing together the why. Jun Wu had attempted to explain things to him during the helicopter ride, but his thoughts were so jumbled that he figured he must have heard things wrong.

A click of the door announced someone coming in but Xie Lian just pulled his knees tighter in. There was a table situated in the middle of the room and he listened to the quiet scrape of the chair legs as the person sat down. There was a soft swish of fabric as they adjusted their uniform and a light tapping of fingers on a screen. Blue light bounced off the walls in his periphery as the monitor on the wall came to life. After several more taps, there was the defined snap of the tablet being set on the metal surface of the table.

“We need to review today’s events,” Officer Ling Wen, Jun Wu’s personal assistant, spoke quietly but succinctly.

“I don’t know what happened,” Xie Lian mumbled to the wall. There was a drip of years old dried paint near his hand that drew his focus and he started picking at it mindlessly.

Ling Wen hummed and swiped something up onto the monitor. Lights flickered around the room and Xie Lian knew she was playing a video. He didn’t want to see it.

“At approximately 0200 this morning we recorded a kaiju emerging from the breach headed for the coast. It was identified as a Category 2 and so per protocol we activated one Jaeger for a direct attack and had another on standby.” He knew she was flipping through her various reports and records, but he just dug his nail into the little paint drop. “The assigned Jaeger was in position by 0300 and the kaiju made landfall at approximately 0330 at which point we engaged,”

Another set of flickering lights reflected against the walls and Xie Lian found his eyes drifting toward the source. He locked onto the screen almost against his will, but he found that as soon as he saw it that he could not look away.

“The engagement lasted for 23 minutes before Command made the call to deploy a backup,”

Xie Lian watched the recording, shot from a helicopter several hundred feet above the battle, as he saw himself being forced down by the surprisingly strong kaiju. He had not been able to get the sword locked into position before he was pounced upon. The ocean water raged against the metal carapace and Xie Lian could almost feel the movement of the waves against him now. He watched as the creature suddenly extended its hard head and crashed it’s face directly into the cockpit. He could not look away now because this was the exact moment when..

The jaeger on the screen suddenly moved and Xie Lian stared open-mouthed as the sword locked into place, activating its edge, and split the kaiju in two. It then stood up and swung the sword down into the docks immediately behind it, destroying warehouses and half the pier. The helicopter capturing the video followed it as it turned and ran toward the city. Xie Lian watched in horror as the sword he had been so proud of struck through buildings, striking low and toppling them in a domino effect as the city fell before him. It was a matter of minutes before several blocks had been systematically crushed.

The camera swung around and he saw what he was dreading. His backup had arrived and was now there to stop  _ him _ . He closed his eyes and clutched his head, not wanting to see the ensuing battle and the destruction that came with it.

Ling Wen stopped the video, “Do you remember this?” 

Xie Lian shook his head.

She paused for a moment watching him, “We have audio recordings; perhaps you will recall this,”

Noise and yelling echoed through the tiny room and despite Xie Lian covering his ears, he could hear it clearly.

“It’s down! Mission complete! Where the hell are you going?” It was Feng Xin’s voice, loud and frantic, “What the fuck are you doing!?”

“Xian Le, listen to orders,” Jun Wu’s voice was calm as usual but strained.

Feng Xin yelled to someone behind him, his voice quieter as he moved away from the mic, “Can he hear us? Are we getting through?” Someone gave an affirmative and his voice grew louder again, “Xie Lian, we know you can hear us! Say something for fuck’s sake!” 

A moment of silence, and then laughter filled the comms.

It started as a quiet chuckle but quickly grew manic. There was silence from the others as the strange deranged sound overtook the audio. Then with a crash and a grunt, the laughter faltered and turned into a guttural battle cry.

Ling Wen stopped the audio. “This was the point when the Gilded Peace arrived and attempted to subdue you,”

Xie Lian shook his head, “That wasn’t me,” he whispered.

“I’m afraid it was,” Ling Wen clicked open several screen captures of the helicopter videos, enhanced as it caught an angle that saw into the cockpit. Xie Lian flicked his eyes over and saw himself clearly even through the grainy texture of the video. His face was twisted and Xie Lian’s gut clenched as he realized that the image of him was grinning in an eerily foreign sneer.

“I don’t know what happened,” he whispered again.

She closed out of some of the files, clearing the screen and then set her tablet down, folding her hands in front of her. 

“Mu Qing told us about your episodes,” 

He froze, holding his breath, “This has nothing to do with that. I just have nightmares,” But he shivered slightly as he recalled what he had seen, where he had gone, and tried to ignore the dread filling his stomach. 

“He reported that your actions during this event were too similar to how you act during those ‘nightmares’ for us to ignore anymore,”

Xie Lian frowned. Mu Qing and Feng Xin had assured him that he just yelled sometimes and thrashed around in his sleep; how could that be compared to what happened here?

“Regardless of whether there is a correlation or not, you are being removed from active duty immediately, pending further psych evaluation. Those results will directly affect the disciplinary actions taken against you and determine the degree of reparation for damages that you will be responsible for.” She stood to leave.

“Damages,” Xie Lian stalled her quietly, “What are the damages?”

She looked at him, considering, and then flicked a couple images up to the monitor, “From the coast up to approximately ten miles inland, buildings sustained damages ranging from peripheral debris contact to complete irreparable destruction. The incident was centered in the heavily populated downtown area. Unfortunately, due to the early hours, many residents in the high-rise buildings had not been able to evacuate in time so the loss of life was higher than anticipated. Recovery efforts are ongoing. Additionally, due to the severity of the event, emergency response teams were late in dealing with the kaiju remains and so there is a significant delay in access to much of the area nearest to the coast,” she sighed, “I won’t lie that this is a very serious situation and we are doing everything we can to mitigate any further damages, but a significant portion of the city is destroyed beyond liveable capacity so we are simply doing what we can.”

Xie Lian just felt cold and wished he could change out of his suit.

After another quiet moment, she left, the door closing Xie Lian into the small room with a decisive click.

  
  


***

  
  


Shi Qingxuan had been overjoyed that Xie Lian had actually taken them up on their offer; and made it official.

“It’s a lot more fun to sneak out, though,” they complained goodnaturedly, “Running it by Ling Wen means Ge knows that I’m out too. I like making him run all over the base trying to find me when I’m not there! He gets mad, but it’s pretty funny too,”

Xie Lian had seen Shi Qingxuan talking to a stern man before they left whose features mirrored Shi Qingxuan’s in the same way a lion's face mirrored a cub’s. He was fairly certain that Shi Wudu was not the type to ‘run all over the base’.

The truck bounced and jumped on old concrete being reclaimed by nature, the weeds stubbornly poking through and disrupting the flat surface. It was still light enough out that Xie Lian could see around him as they drove through the hills toward the city.

He could not stop his mind as the images of the destroyed city replayed themselves over and over. Buildings flattened and fires burning; long lists of the confirmed dead; accusations and anger all directed at him. He had stared at countless reports and been forced to relive the incident from so many different camera angles that he believed that he could have drawn out a clear map of the city by rote.

But as they drew closer he could not reconcile his memory with what he was seeing. He remembered that this area up in the hills was supposed to have been a rather suburban area, but as he swiveled his head around now, he only saw shadows of the structures he expected. Some lots had skeletons of the building that previously stood there. Some houses were taken apart down to their foundations. The buildings were more intact further out, but as they drew closer, it was as if the structures themselves had evaporated. He didn’t remember buildings this far out being damaged; could he really have destroyed things this deep inland?

Shi Qingxuan saw him gaping at the barren land and exclaimed, “Oh! I forgot how weird it is for people who have never been here! You remember how I said that people took back the city? Well, since it was technically a restricted area after it got all messed up, they couldn’t legally get stuff to build so they used what they could find. By now, they’ve gotten all the way out here and basically collected every scrap of material in sight,”

Xie Lian looked closer and now recognized the signs of salvage. It was actually incredibly thorough and methodical. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief that he had not been responsible for the dismantling of these distant neighborhoods.

Shi Qingxuan leaned forward between the seats to the front and poked a finger at the screen with a glowing GPS map guiding the way. Their driver barely reacted, which indicated that he was quite used to Shi Qingxuan’s lack of passenger etiquette.

They pinched the map outward. “There, see?” They pointed and Xie Lian leaned to the side to get a good angle of the map. With the overhead view, he saw the coast and the hills and the little dot that indicated their position. The road they were following seemed to just end in the middle of nowhere and the rest of the area was blank. The GPS was following a guideline to a destination that stopped long before that road ended, however.

“The Task Force initially fenced off the area here and so every official map just has this as empty space,” they circled their finger around the blank area and then gestured to the arrow that signalled their endpoint, “But we can only go as far as here with the truck,”

Xie Lian was about to question why, but Shi Qingxuan just pulled back and then nearly crawled over Xie Lian’s lap to look out the window on his side. “You’ll see why in a sec-- Look!”

Xie Lian looked out the window as the truck came over a ridge and the elevation began to slope downward, allowing their first clear view into the coastal valley. He couldn’t help but gasp in awe.

Even through the haze of dusk, he could see the city clearly. It glowed with life and light, the brilliance dancing on the nearby shore that it pushed up against. The buildings didn’t seem tall, but even from this distance he could tell they were packed tightly together. They were clustered the most densely by the coast and along a path leading inland. It was so different from his memory of the area that he could not believe it was the same location, however his eyes followed that clustered pattern of light and he uncomfortably recognized it as the same path that he had rampaged all those years ago. 

The density of the buildings diminished as it spread farther from the central cluster of the city and extended out into the valley until it stopped suddenly with a very clearly defined line. Looking closer, Xie Lian could see some sort of delineation in the terrain that acted as a complete cut off point of any of the city lights.

“That’s why we can’t drive any closer!” Shi Qingxuan pointed, gesturing at the distant border. “A couple of years ago, they built an actual wall that surrounds the city’s borders, but it’s waaay past the original fence of the restricted area, so the map gets all confused!”

“A wall?” Xie Lian asked, narrowing his eyes to try to get a better look as they slowly descended through the hills. 

“More of a fence, really, but yeah their Chengzhu wanted more controlled access so he made only a couple official entry points in and out,” Shi Qingxuan grinned playfully and wiggled their eyebrows, “Probably to keep out nosy Task Force people,”

“This Chengzhu is the one who led the reconstruction, right?” Xie Lian asked. He felt a little trepidation about Ghost City’s leader; if anyone was going to recognize Xie Lian’s face, it would be someone who had been there from the very beginning.

“Yeah, I’ve never seen Hua Cheng personally, but if you ask anyone here, they treat him like he’s royalty,” Shi Qingxuan stuck his tongue out, “Some people back at base call him the Ghost King-- cause of the whole ‘Ghost City’ thing-- to try to make him sound silly, but I think it sounds kinda cool,”

Xie Lian grimaced and tucked his face into his scarf, pulling it up over his nose. He wasn’t necessarily cold, but he still felt nervous shivers rake through his body. The Task Force had exerted every effort to cover up and fudge information around the incident ten years ago. They didn’t want the people to start seeing Jaegers as a threat, especially so early on in their implementation, so they did everything in their power to bury everything related to Xie Lian and Yong’an. And now he was going to the one place that people might remember him. He only hoped that he had been gone long enough and knowledge of his return had not reached this Hua Cheng. 

His musings continued as they drew nearer until the driver finally spoke, “We’re here,”

Shi Qingxuan squealed a little with glee as the driver turned off the main road and followed a side path through the underbrush. Xie Lian watched, confused, as they wiggled through the variegated landscape, when a tall structure abruptly appeared in their view. He examined it as they halted the truck nearby and realized that this must be the afore-mentioned wall.

Xie Lian thought benignly that Shi Qingxuan had been rather off in describing this as either a wall or a fence, because neither of those descriptions did it justice.

Every thirty feet or so there was a tall concrete pillar almost two stories high. The pillars were connected by sets of four thick metal bars that Xie Lian could probably only just put his arms around if he tried. Atop each pillar perched a strange glass sphere. He looked at these with curiosity and they seemed to reflect the evening light with a dull blue iridescence. They were not lit up even in the gathering dark, so he didn’t think they served as light posts, but he could not for the life of him imagine what their purpose was. He got out of the truck with Shi Qingxuan and they approached the barrier.

“Is it electrified?” He asked warily.

“Nope!” Shi Qingxuan replied, patting one of the metal bars congenially. They turned to the driver, “We’ll give a call when we’re headed back!” He gave a grunt and turned the car away.

Xie Lian watched as Shi Qingxuan tucked their head and stepped easily through the metal bars into the city. Xie Lian followed, bemused, and looked back at the strange structure as they followed a well-worn dirt path.

“What’s with that fence?” he asked as they continued on.

Shi Qingxuan just shrugged, “No idea. It popped up a couple years ago and no ones been able to figure it out. Supposedly, Hua Cheng had that reclusive tech genius build it and no one knows if it actually does anything,”

Xie Lian was a little confused, “Ah, I’ve been a little disconnected over the recent years. Should I know about this so-called tech genius?”

Shi Qingxuan considered for a moment, “Maybe I only know about him cause people talk about him so much at base, I’m sure you’ll hear someone complain eventually. Apparently, like a decade ago, some anonymous person, going by Crimson Rain online, started selling these crazy plans and prototypes for all sorts of different tech to the highest bidder. At first no one took him up on it because he was an anonymous nobody, but eventually someone cracked and the tech they got from him shot up their stocks so much that the CEO retired early or something. Crimson Rain raked in a ton of money after that, but then Ghost City popped up and Hua Cheng offered some golden deal to get Crimson Rain to work for him exclusively. Hua Cheng funds a lot of the city by selling that guys tech, which is another reason nobody can really touch him.” They snickered a little, “Everyone at base hates him because he keeps releasing new tech and research that ends up miles ahead of where they are and they get their little egos bruised,”

The path they took gradually became paved and buildings started to become more frequent as they moved inward. They even began to see people strolling about. Xie Lian nervously looked around at the increasing traffic, examining the remains of his greatest failure, and found them.. very normal. Children played in the streets, people laughed and smiled, and nobody turned in his direction to accuse him and chase him away. Shi Qingxuan gave a quiet exclamation and pointed towards a nearby vehicle that several other people were also boarding. It was hooked up to a rail system that extended all the way to the city.

“No more walking! C’mon, let’s hitch a ride!”

It was a relatively short ride on the trolley into the city center but Xie Lian did not get a chance to feel his nerves because he was too distracted by the sights and sounds blooming around them. The city was slap-dash and eclectic-- truly looking like it had been constructed with randomly collected material-- but there was a stubborn sturdiness to the construction that he felt was almost endearing. These people had survived a tragedy and then reforged themselves with the broken pieces.

The eccentricity of the mismatched buildings was reflected in the residents as well. They all wore strange combinations of clothing and accessories-- a jacket with one obviously different sleeve; jumbled necklaces made out of metal scraps and broken pieces of plastic; outfits that were obviously over-sized but had been pinched or tied with clips and bands to fit better. Xie Lian felt an immediate kinship with these people, remembering how he had lived over the past decade and recognizing the need to squeeze out the lifespan of every item he owned.

They exited the trolley closer to the city center and Shi Qingxuan led them through the crowds, pointing out restaurants they liked or dance venues they frequented. Xie Lian spotted a shop with rows of books that he was curious about, but as he made toward it, Shi Qingxuan tugged him back. He looked back curiously and they shook their head, pointing at the door frame. “We can’t go in there yet, we have to get a passport,”

Xie Lian followed their finger and saw a simple etching of a butterfly stamped into the wood. It was no bigger than his palm and he wouldn’t have even noticed it if Shi Qingxuan had not pointed it out. At a raise of his eyebrow, Shi Qingxuan continued their explanation: “Ghost City has different levels of access depending on if you live in the city or are allowed to stay here or are just visiting. The Long-term Guest and Resident Passes are harder to come by because they have a special code or something, but anyone coming through the main entrance can get a day pass. Since we didn’t come through the main gate, we don’t have any of them, but I’ve got a couple sources that I usually hit up to find a day pass once I’m here! Most places don’t check for it, but some do-- like that shop.”

Xie Lian cocked an eyebrow and looked closer at the etched butterfly. It was just a simple outline so it was easy to miss and he was infinitely thankful that he had had the forethought to ask Shi Qingxuan for guidance through Ghost City. It would have become very clear quite quickly that he did not belong if he had tried to enter without knowing. They pulled him along with a clear goal in mind.

The crowd continued to increase in activity and density until they reached a large central street that spanned down to the coast and back up into the hills. This was obviously the main thoroughfare and commerce was booming. Xie Lian’s eyes lit up as he looked around and saw not only a fully functioning city, but a thriving community filled with happy faces. He couldn’t help but smile along with the music and laughter wafting through the air. Recycling and reusing was the obvious trend and people seemed to take great pride in how far they could extend the life of an object. Many little stalls proffered people’s experiments and contraptions and while he could not understand the purpose for many of the pieces, he still found them beautiful.

Shi Qingxuan stopped them in front of a little clothing store and motioned for Xie Lian to stay outside. “Okay, gimme a sec and I’ll go grab us some day passes,”

Before he could blink, they disappeared through the door and Xie Lian was left alone out in the crowded street. He allowed his gaze to wander, taking in the sights and sounds of the city around him. If he looked closely, he thought he could see phantom echoes of the old damage, but everything was painted garishly with bright colors and decorated with odds and ends which pulled the eye away from any scars. He tried not to make eye contact with anyone, but so far he had felt no angry eyes on him. He took a deep breath and smiled softly. He still felt tremendous guilt, but he also was warmed by the peaceful mood that permeated the busy street.

That peaceful mood was shattered as a siren wrent the air in two and everyone immediately froze, looking up at the horns blaring out an alarm and flashing a sequence of lights.

Xie Lian’s blood went cold and he felt dread in the pit of his stomach as the crowd took action. Food stalls immediately turned off ovens and covered their wares, shops pulled metal shutters over their windows, and the throng of people on the street moved with a singular determination towards some sort of predetermined destination. Some of them looked frustrated, some nervous, but most chatted amicably as if this were an everyday occurrence. Before Xie Lian could understand what was happening, he was swept away with the tide. He felt a panic and tried to fight back against the flow, but the urging of the people around him drove him forward.

“Excuse me, please let me through,” he tried to gently push some people out of the way, but his voice had trouble being heard over the siren and no one listened to him.

He was jostled to and fro and his mind was getting jumbled as well. The lights hurt, the noises reverberated, and he felt like everyone was staring at him as he messed with an obviously well-practiced ritual. He clutched his head and closed his eyes and tried to move in the direction of a nearby wall, but he lost his balance and was pushed back. He felt himself collide with someone, falling backwards directly into their chest. He barely registered the impact. His vision had narrowed and he could feel his heart trying to escape his body through his throat. A faraway part of him recognized that the person behind him that he had crashed into had caught him before he fell to the ground and was steadying him with a gentle grip on his shoulder.

Xie Lian felt his body start to move forward after a subtle push from behind motivated his feet into motion. He realized that he no longer was being jostled around and he felt a little tension ease as he attempted to gather his bearings. The person behind him was still holding his left shoulder to guide him in the correct direction, and as he became more cognizant of what was happening, he noticed that the person's other arm was extended and acting as a barrier at his right side, though it didn’t seem as necessary now as the crowd had stopped pressing towards them. His attention was drawn to the strange jewelry the man wore as it caught the flashing light. The rings were made of a chunky metal that looked repurposed from a larger machine, but they had been melted and weaved into delicate designs. He had multiple thick bracelets and chains hanging from his wrist, some of it seeming to be of a similar origin as the rings were. The man’s red sleeves were rolled at the elbow, displaying strong, lithe forearms.

As Xie Lian felt his breath and heart rate returning to a more normal pace, he tried to turn to see who was helping him, but because they were still moving forward with the energy of the crowd, he tripped and began to fall forward.

He reached out to break his fall and his desperate hand met the man’s forearm at his side as it closed in to catch him. The hand that had been at his shoulder now gripped his waist, and he paused their momentum to allow Xie Lian to regain his balance. Reddening at his embarrassing display, Xie Lian let go of the proffered arm and pulled his hands back, pulling his scarf farther up his face. He allowed the person behind him to keep them flowing with the crowd and Xie Lian now saw that they were entering a low squat building. Shi Qingxuan had pointed out several of these large buildings peppered throughout the city; bunkers created specifically to protect against kaiju attacks. They were apparently also used for communal purposes, acting as safe stable locations for schools, hospitals, or markets.

Xie Lian found himself being guided into the bunker with the crowd. The bright light of the city outside was cut off sharply as they traveled into a tunnel leading to the underground haven. There was light in the passageway, but he found his eyes had trouble adjusting to the abrupt change and he blinked and rubbed away the spots in his vision. By the time he refocused and got used to the new low lighting, he looked around and found that he was in a broad low cavern filled with people.

He had been in public bunkers before, but they were always cramped and poorly constructed. Unlucky people got left behind because of lack of space and unluckier people were crushed when the weight of a kaiju accidentally collapsed the ceiling on top of them. He was surprised to find that this was not the case here. Even as the cavern filled, everyone could still move about comfortably and he had a sense that the ceiling would give them no trouble. People waved to friends and continued conversations they had been having before the sirens interrupted them, easily able to connect and move about at their leisure. At the far wall, he saw that there were shelves full of books butting up against the edge of the cavern. As they got closer, he realized that the shelving units could extend out along a track. They must have been pushed back to accommodate the larger crowd.

Everyone was easily getting comfortable in chairs or simply on the ground, lounging like they were having a picnic. Xie Lian still was unsure about what was going on, but then he realized the person behind him had given him a directed push and he found himself sitting in a free chair. It took him a moment to recognize what had happened. He shook himself out of his reverie and stood up, looking around for the man with the bracelets and red sleeves. The dim light offered him no help and as he surveyed the large cavern he saw no one that fit the description.

He did, however, see a frantic figure bouncing between small groups of people on the other end of the cavern with a very worried look on their face.

He huffed a sigh of relief and smiled as he raised his arm and waved it energetically to get Shi Qingxuan’s attention. With wide eyes, they spotted him and scrambled across the groups of loungers, barely getting out an apology to the people they nearly stepped on.

“Xie Lian, praise all the gods and buddhas, I thought I’d completely lost you!” They bounded into his arms and he happily returned the embrace, patting them on the back to comfort them. It felt nice that someone cared enough about him to worry for his safety..

..Two someones?

He peeled Shi Qingxuan off him and they exclaimed, “I thought you’d been trampled or gone the wrong direction or something,”

He laughed a little, “Almost, but I made it here one way or another.” He could still feel a phantom hand on his shoulder.

“I’ve never been here when there’s been a kaiju attack!” Shi Qingxuan exclaimed, flopping exhausted onto the floor.

“Ah, yes I figured that was what was happening,” he nodded matter-of-factly as his suspicions were confirmed. He looked around and saw a tension in the room, but overall everyone was relatively calm.

“Yeah, the siren is the warning system that they need to head to a shelter. Apparently depending on the sound and lights, it indicates different levels of danger-- like if the kaiju is close by or there are more than one. I think this one was a relatively far away one, because no one seems really worried,” Shi Qingxuan shrugged.

“How close does it have to get for the siren to go off?” Xie Lian was trying to calculate in his head when the kaiju might make landfall.

“Actually, I think it goes off whenever there is an event? I don’t know how it knows, but Chengzhu has it set up where every time a kaiju emerges from the breach, the whole city shuts down until the all clear,”

Xie Lian gave a small ‘ah’ of understanding. That must be why everyone had been so methodical and orderly in the evacuation. If they did this every time there was an event, they must be very comfortable with the whole process. Xie Lian smiled a little shamefully to himself at the awkward display he must have put on in his panic.

Overall, he was very impressed with the entire management of the city. It settled some of the guilt that hovered constantly over him. Even if he messed up, a competent person could come in and make it right.

Xie Lian leaned back in his chair, getting comfortable for what he knew would be several hours of waiting. He tucked his nose into his scarf and stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets to settle in, but his hand brushed against something odd. Blinking curiously, he removed the object from his pocket and held it up to one of the dim overhead lights. It was a hard plastic square, approximately the size of his palm and a deep shiny red. In the center of the card was a semi-transparent holographic depiction of a butterfly that reflected rainbows across his face as he tilted it to catch the light in different ways.

The light reflected over to Shi Qingxuan and they glanced up to see what had shone in their eyes. When they saw what Xie Lian was so casually examining, they gave a loud gasp that startled Xie Lian-- and several other people in proximity-- and almost made him drop the card.

“Where did you get that??” they tried to lower their voice to a whisper, but it still hissed out with an intensity that was almost even more conspicuous.

“I have no idea.. It was just in my pocket?” Xie Lian scrunched his eyebrows and tapped a finger to his chin in thought. He knew the object had not been on him before the siren went off, so it must have gotten in there while he stumbled through the crowd. He vaguely considered whether someone had accidentally dropped it and it just happened to land in his pocket, but he looked down at the vertical slits on his coat and knew that was not possible.

His mind trailed back to the firm chest that he had fallen back into during his panic attack and the person who had so gently guided him to safety as he gathered his sanity. He examined the little card again.

“What is it?” he asked, though he had a vague suspicion.

Shi Qingxuan perched themselves up and stared with wide eyes at the red square in his hand with awe. “D’you remember when I said there were different levels of passes to get around here?” Xie Lian just nodded and waited for them to continue. “Well I only mentioned those three-- day, long-term, and resident, yeah?-- cause the last one is so rare it’s not even worth mentioning. I’ve heard them call it a Prime pass; but basically what you are holding, dear sir, is a VIP ticket to anything and everything. If you have that, you could just about go into someone’s house and take a nap in their bed without them saying a thing!”

They had stars in their eyes as Xie Lian listened to their explanation and considered the shiny card. The dance of the holographics made it seem as if the butterfly were alive and sitting on the card, able to be blown away by the lightest breath. He closed his hand around it and then stuffed it in a zipped inner pocket of his jacket for safe keeping. Shi Qingxuan seemed to whine unconsciously as the ultimate golden ticket to all their nightlife cravings disappeared into Xie Lian’s worn coat.

He paused for a moment before asking quietly, “Would you mind not spreading it around that I have this? I’m afraid it must have been misplaced so I would like to find the owner and return it, and I don’t want people coming to me expecting me to have it,”

“Those things are super rare and hoarded like gold, so if someone lost one it would be a big fuss. They would scrounge through garbage to get it back if they had to!”

Xie Lian thought wryly to himself that he had scrounged through garbage for much less than a little access card, but he understood the sentiment. His thoughts drifted back to the man with the metal rings.

“How does someone usually get these?” Xie Lian asked quietly.

“Okay, well, firstly, I didn’t even think they were real,” Shi Qingxuan shook their head bemusedly. “But otherwise, all I know is that only Hua Cheng personally gives them out,”

Xie Lian hummed, pensive. He was about to dig a little more, when a distinct ring of a phone had Shi Qingxuan scrambling for their pockets. They stepped away to have a quick hushed conversation with whoever was on the other line and Xie Lian let himself sink back into the chair and drift. There had been so much excitement in the past couple hours and now that he had stopped moving he felt the exhaustion creep in. He regretted taking on this assignment.. even if he had given it to himself.

Shi Qingxuan came back over in a significantly more sour mood than before. “We have to go back,” they grumbled, “They got the kaiju under control, but they’ll need help with the clean up so they’re gonna deploy a few more,” they folded their arms, pouting, “Ge is mad at me for being on leave because he wanted to take the next one on,”

Xie Lian commiserated with them but also let out a sigh of relief he didn’t know he had been holding in at the report of a win for the Task Force. Then he shot up, “Ah! But the museum! Didn’t you get those day passes for today? We should go once the bunker opens!” he did not mention his true reason for wanting to visit the collection as soon as possible.

Shi Qingxuan looked at him with a cheeky smile, “Did you already forget what’s in your pocket? You can come back literally any time, show that off, and they won’t even question you,”

Xie Lian sat back and patted his chest where the card sat zipped up securely in his jacket. “Oh… then I suppose I can come back another day,”

The man who had helped him had been kind to him but had he gotten a good look at Xie Lian? He might have just been passing by and wanted to help a panicking stranger in need. If he was who Xie Lian suspected him to be, one look at Xie Lian’s face would surely have had him making very different decisions. He probably would have been left behind on the street to fend for himself.

Xie Lian sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. If they were truly needed back at base, he supposed he could try again in the morning. He was looking forward to a solid night’s sleep. For now, though, he just closed his eyes and sunk into the chair until the bunker opened its doors again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Crisis!!
> 
> Hope y'all have a lovely holiday in whatever capacity you celebrate! Or just have a nice break. Here is a chapter as my gift to you!
> 
> Also, this has all been and will most likely continue to be completely un-beta'd ^^;; I am impatient and I want to get things posted as soon as I have written them. Until I learn restraint, please forgive any mistakes!!

Xie Lian watched the debriefing from the back of the room. He had his eyes closed as he listened to Ling Wen review the attack and give reports on damages and losses. He always hated this part. Everyone was exhausted and suffering from the effects of the adrenaline rush that accompanied every encounter. He knew without looking that everyone seated around the table had circles under their eyes and were slumped down in their chairs. He had always petitioned for the debriefings to at least wait a day, but Command always insisted that they review it while it’s fresh to collect all the details for later analysis. The only person who never seemed affected no matter the lateness of the hour was Jun Wu. 

Xie Lian peeked an eye open and looked at the Admiral standing tall with hands clasped behind his back. He had always exhibited a strength which Xie Lian used to admire and strive for. However… he thought it must have been his imagination, but as he watched him now from his little corner, Xie Lian thought that he saw a shadow of strain hidden in the strong jawline. Everyone does have a breaking point. He feared witnessing what Jun Wu’s would be.

He gave a light sigh and leaned back against the wall behind him, allowing the cool metal to support him. He was certainly better off than the other tired members drooping around the table. He had been able to grab a nap on the ride back-- he had gotten pretty good about sleeping in awkward places over the years-- but the constant activity of the base was wearing him thin.

Surprisingly, he thought back to the bunker in Ghost City. It had been relatively lively, but it wasn’t the same frantic energy that infused every corner of the Task Forces operation. The chair he had sat in reclined slightly and the cushion was obviously well-worn, but still plush enough to be comfortable. They had been stuck there for another hour after Shi Qingxuan had received the phone call to return, and Xie Lian had taken the opportunity to settle in and just..be. Even though they were essentially trapped, the mood in the bunker had been so comfortable. Xie Lian had felt an ease come over him that allowed his muscles to lose some of the tension that had built up over the past few days. 

That tension had returned in full force when they returned to base.

Shi Qingxuan had been pulled away immediately and Xie Lian was swept up in the flow of activity. He had tried to find ways to help but he felt he was more of a nuisance than an asset. In the end, he had just attempted to lighten the mood by cheering people on or interjecting some light humor, but people either grew annoyed or just ignored him outright. It had worked when he was a star pilot-- everyone always seemed bolstered by his presence-- but now that he was relatively unknown on the base it came off as patronizing.

He was removed from his reverie by the sharp scrape of chairs on the floor as everyone packed up to leave the briefing room. He thought sheepishly that he must have missed the conclusion and dismissal, but he was relatively certain that there was nothing relevant to him anyway. He pushed up from his perch on the wall and stretched, giving a yawn. A glance at the clock told him that it was nearly six in the morning and his body ached for sleep. He would definitely not be missed if he grabbed a couple hours of shut-eye, so he followed the flow of tired people exiting the room.

“Xian Le, a moment,” came Jun Wu’s calm voice, easily heard over the mumbling of the sleep-deprived crowd.

Xie Lian looked back and saw him still standing at the head of the table, flipping through various screens and giving orders to several of the people awaiting his instructions. Xie Lian waited patiently for the rest of the room to clear, attempting to stand as properly as possible in parade rest. After sending the last person on their way, Jun Wu finally gave him his full attention.

“How was your expedition this evening, Xian Le?” 

Xie Lian still had to restrain from flinching at his old call sign. They had erased everything about his old life-- news stories, awards, merchandise.. His Jaeger’s name..-- but he was almost appreciative of this as it allowed him to forget and fade quickly from the public consciousness. It had given him a relative anonymity as he wandered the world, so he considered it a kindness. Jun Wu had fought against that decision, but Xie Lian had been secretly glad that he had been overruled. It seemed, though, that the Admiral was still insistent on calling him by the name, and Xie Lian didn’t have the fortitude to request him to stop. Even if it did bring up painful memories.

He collected himself and responded, “Less successful than I hoped. I didn’t even make it to the museum to view the collection before the city shut down for the kaiju attack,”

Jun Wu looked troubled, “Yes, I’ve heard about the city’s unique way of handling an event. How troublesome that must be for everybody,”

Xie Lian shook his head, “It was actually incredibly well-organized and everyone seemed willing to comply. From my brief experience, I believe their Chengzhu has led the city to become a model of Kaiju reactionary procedure that other cities should take note of,”

Jun Wu did not respond immediately. He was turned slightly to the side and Xie Lian noticed that his grip on his hands behind his back was so forceful that his knuckles were becoming pale. It seemed that many people on the base shared the same feeling of frustration or contempt toward Hua Cheng, but Xie Lian was still unconvinced.

He finally spoke quietly, “I hear that you did not succeed in finding a drift compatible partner among our candidates,” Xie Lian looked down in discomfort, but Jun Wu gave him a small smile, “It is not your fault that there are none who are your equal; I still believe that it was a huge loss to our operation that they completely decommissioned you,”

Xie Lian did not respond to this but could not meet his eyes. 

After a moment, Jun Wu continued, “Your pursuit for the Mark 1 information is a worthy endeavor, which I highly encourage. What with the failure in retrofitting a current model and our inability to find someone worthy of your skill, solo-piloting with Mark 1 technology might be our best avenue to getting you back in the field,”

Xie Lian looked up sharply, “Sir, that’s not--”

“Peace, Xian Le, that would be a last resort and we don’t even know if there is enough technology or information remaining from the Mark 1’s to even make it a viable option,” He met his eyes, “But I do want you to consider it as a possibility,”

Xie Lian bit his lip but gave a stiff nod.

“That being said..” he reached over and tapped a few buttons on the screen and a new window popped up. 

It was a file with a name at the top that Xie Lian instantly recognized: Hua Cheng. There was no image and much of the information simply read “ _unknown_ ”. There were even some strings of question marks that gave an impression of frustration, even within an official report. Xie Lian felt a smile tug at his lips.

“This man has been a thorn in our side for many years now. His grip on that city is so tight, we have not had the resources to investigate him further. Mark 1 technology was already difficult to come by as it was all privately funded at the beginning, but he has been able to acquire and hoard every related item and refuses to cooperate with our operation. Ling Wen informed me that you are going to attempt to view his collection, but I advise caution as he is not friendly to Task Force members,”

Xie Lian’s mind turned for a second and then he had to refrain himself from smacking his head with his palm. “HC Collection”. “Hua Cheng”. He should have made that connection much sooner. So the grand mysterious leader of Ghost City was not only an excellent city organizer but also an avid collector of Mark 1 material. Xie Lian could feel the square card nestled against his chest in his coat. If Hua Cheng had so much information about Mark 1’s.. He certainly must have recognized Xie Lian-- he hadn’t changed _that_ much over the years-- but he had still been so gentle. He glanced up at the screen with the bare profile and had trouble reconciling the person he had encountered and the way everyone else described the man. Perhaps Xie Lian was mistaken and it was a completely different person who had helped him.

“Thank you for your concern, Admiral. I will do my best to avoid any trouble,” he gave a salute.

Jun Wu clapped him warmly on the shoulder and gave him a gentle smile, “I look forward to the results of your investigation. I can’t say I wouldn’t enjoy seeing you back in a fully operational Mark 1 someday!”

He gave a warm chuckle, which Xie Lian could not reciprocate, and squeezed his shoulder before dismissing him.

Xie Lian left, slightly conflicted. He knew that the information contained in that collection could help Mu Qing and Feng Xin with getting a sword attachment operational on a jaeger, but he was frightened by Jun Wu’s implication that they may also pursue the solo-piloting option again if he could not find a compatible partner. Those two sides of his thoughts warred within him and he started to feel a headache come upon him again. Had he gone a day back at base without feeling the insistent pressure in his head yet?

The only conclusion he could come to was that it wouldn’t hurt to see what Hua Cheng had in his collection. If there was information on the solo-drift build, he could just ignore it and focus on the sword apparatus. He didn’t have to report everything.. His hand came up to his chest and felt at the little access card. He realized he had not told Jun Wu about it.

And he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to.

Heaving a deep sigh and massaging his neck, Xie Lian made his way to his bunk to sleep off his oncoming headache.

He dreamed.

Memories of the past bubbled up in his mind as he tossed and turned in his cot.

...

Feng Xin yelled at him as he sat sullenly in the physical therapy office, foot no longer in a cast, but still wrapped tightly in bandages. He hated that someone was teaching him to _walk_. He felt humiliated and angry at the whole situation. His eyes itched from exhaustion; it had been weeks since he had had a restful night of sleep.

Mu Qing brought back the trainer and just stared daggers at Xie Lian who couldn’t meet his eyes. After a moment he stuck out his leg and the three in front of him sighed in relief. The trainer sat in a chair and gently placed his foot on a stool. He started unwrapping the ankle for the first set of stretches. The wrapping came undone and Xie Lian heard both Feng Xin and Mu Qing suck in a breath.

“Why is it still blue?” Mu Qing hissed.

...

He waved, smiling widely at the cameras that had captured his successful victory over the kaiju. He could hear the city swell with cheers as his face was streamed across screens around the city. They chanted his name. They loved him. He had saved them and they called him their hero.

...

The judge shuffled some papers and looked across his broad wooden desk at Xie Lian. He was speaking, but Xie Lian was not hearing him properly. His eyes were following the reflection of the light streaming through the windows bouncing off the metal cuffs on his wrists. Several words came through as he processed them slowly: “Dishonorable discharge”, “insanity plea”, “institutionalize”.

He really didn’t care anymore.

“Caring is overrated anyway,” the judge said. 

But it didn’t sound like him.

Xie Lian looked up and found someone standing by the judge, their face turned away as they looked the portly official up and down. They were clothed in white robes.. Was it another judge? Xie Lian shook his head as his thoughts fuzzed; judges don’t wear white.. Right?

The judge was still talking at Xie Lian as if there were not a stranger obstructing half of his view. The figure gave an annoyed wave of his hand and the judge wafted away as if he were made of mist; his voice fading with him mid-conversation.

Xie Lian stared open-mouthed at the odd sight and felt a coldness edge up his spine. His vision flickered. One moment they were in the judge’s chambers, the next they were standing atop his jaeger again. He stumbled and fell, feeling dizzy, and looked around at the scene.

He had just been here.. Hadn’t he? They had been cheering.. It was so silent now.

He looked up at the sky and saw that the helicopters that had been filming him were frozen in the air, blades unmoving, as if time had stopped. With a haze of recognition, he saw that his own beaming face was still plastered up on the screens, capturing his joy at defeating the kaiju. His mind was sluggishly attempting to figure out what was happening.

A flash of movement caught his eye and he realized that same figure in white stood next to him, hands behind their back, and robe flapping as if caught in a brisk wind. Xie Lian was on his hands and knees where he had fallen and gazed blearily up at the figure as they surveyed the scene below. He still could not see their face.

They hummed. “Such selfish beasts,” They didn’t sound angry, more resigned. “They love and praise you when you rescue them and their little cities, but does that love remain when you are no longer useful to them?”

Xie Lian felt tears wet his cheeks. He tried to respond, but his throat was dry and closed.

The figure turned and bent down and Xie Lian suddenly found he was back in the physical therapist’s office, foot stretched out on the stool as they unwrapped his bandaged foot again. He barely could move his head but he flicked his eyes around frantically, desperately looking for help, but Feng Xin and Mu Qing were not there anymore. He was frozen as the figure stretched out a thin white finger and gently stroked Xie Lian’s ankle, causing a shiver of fear to pulse through his body. He could not move.

They examined his ankle. The puncture point was a deep blue and tendrils of the color extended from the healing wound in faded lines.

“This ended up healing quite well. I didn’t want your mobility affected, but they are not particularly adept at aiming,” They placed their hand over the full scar, covering it with eerily long fingers. When they released again, the blue color was gone-- turned into a faded blemish that blended with Xie Lian’s skin tone. They gave a satisfied hum and then in a flash they were face to face with Xie Lian, just inches away.

The face was twisted and distorted and the features seemed more mask-like than anything that could have been called human. Xie Lian could not help but meet it’s eyes-- or the pits where there should have been eyes. Instead, a deep blue darkness extending endlessly into the distance swallowed his vision. With a dull sense, he felt the long fingers tracing the scar on his neck.

“They almost failed me completely,” they cupped Xie Lian’s face gently, almost tenderly, “But it’s no matter. You are here with me now and I’ll never let you go,”

Xie Lian was frozen and tears were streaming down his face in urgent rivulets. He felt an embrace envelope him.

With a mighty effort, he forced out a scream.

He woke up with a jolt, eyes flying around his room and heart beating wildly in his throat. He couldn’t tell if his scream had just echoed in his mind or if he had actually been screaming. He was panting and his hand came up to his neck where that thing had caressed him. He was cold and clammy and he could feel the adrenalized blood pumped through his veins. He sat up and wrenched away the covers and looked at his ankle.

The pale scar spiderwebbed away from the puncture point in thin white lines. After staring at it apprehensively, he poked it, flinching as if expecting some pain, but feeling none. He examined it further for anything else strange and couldn’t find anything. He sighed in relief and slumped back, heart rate slowly normalizing. His blankets were tangled all over the bed in a clear sign that he had been tossing around. He hugged his legs into himself and rolled his forehead back and forth across his knees, massaging his aching head.

He took a steadying breath and tried to refocus his mind, but he felt scattered and shaky still. He had not had dreams like this for years. And back then, either Mu Qing or Feng Xin would be around to rouse him. He looked up around his lonely room, bare and cold, and then closed his eyes tightly and hugged himself closer. Something poked him in the chest and he looked down, only realizing now that he had passed out without changing out of yesterday’s clothes. He still had his jacket on. He reached a hand under and unzipped the little inner pocket, pulling out the square red card with a shimmering butterfly on it.

The light in the room was dim, but the holographic reflection still caught it, causing the butterfly to flutter. Xie Lian smiled at the whimsy of it and wiggled it some more, watching it dance. He checked the time and realized it had barely been a couple hours that he had attempted sleep, but he knew that he wouldn’t be getting any more rest if he stayed here. Decision made, he rolled off the bed and sent a communique to Ling Wen to requisition a transport to Ghost City through the communication screen in the wall. He probably should get a cell phone..

Ghost City was very different in the daytime.

By the time Xie Lian had made himself presentable, gotten the transport, made the trip, and passed through the strange wall-fence, it was almost noon. The city at night was full of bright lights and loud music. As the sun peeked through clouds overhead, it shone light on a very different image. It was still colorful-- doors and windows painted in primary colors, artful graffiti and paintings speckled across the concrete, gaudy awnings stretching out from entryways-- but it did seem a little more subdued without the glowing neon signs and bright street lamps lighting the way.

Even with the little access card in hand, he had decided to not use the official entrance and chose to come through the same way he had last night. For one, he was still not sure that he was meant to have the card and worried it might be confiscated; for another, he figured he would take a familiar path since he was coming alone this time. But as he made his way closer to the city, he realized quickly that the “familiar path” he had been marginally confident about was nothing like he remembered.

He had made it as far as getting on the trolley and hitching a ride into the city proper, but as to what stop to get off on.. He chewed his lip with anxiety.

The city was sleeping. It seemed that a majority of its residents were night owls and that the city operated to accommodate that. Even at midday, there wasn’t half the crowd that had been present last night. Part of him felt relieved to not have to deal with crowds, but part of him had been counting on the density of people indicating how close he was to the city center. He realized quickly that he could not rely on that metric.

He tapped the trolley operator on the shoulder and she looked back at him questioningly.

“Ah, yes, my apologies for interrupting your work,” he smiled and clapped his hands together in an apology, “Could you let me know which stop gets me closest to the museum?”

She looked him up and down with an eyebrow raised. “Usually you day-ers come here more at night..” She shrugged, indifferent, “You probably should have gotten off two stops ago actually. You can follow the tracks back a couple blocks until you hit the first main road, then take it down the hill. The museum’s in the downtown area and it’s pretty easy to find from there. Hard to miss, ya know?”

Xie Lian didn’t know. But he smiled and thanked her for her advice and exited the trolley when it next came to a stop.

He truly did try to follow her directions, but after a half hour of wandering, he realized that he must have misunderstood something or taken a wrong turn. He tried to go downhill, as suggested, but somehow ended up going uphill again??

The city was quiet and empty. Many stores were closed; hours indicating that this city did indeed function as a night city. Xie Lian saw a few stragglers, and got some points here or there, but he was so turned around that he was feeling dizzy. Sighing in defeat, he decided to just sit and wait for the city to wake up a little and for more people to appear so that he could ask for help. He squatted down against a wall, finding a little shade against the insistent sun. Just as he had gotten comfortable to wait, his stomach gave a loud whine and he realized that he hadn’t eaten yet today.

He dropped his head and spoke quietly to his stomach, “I’m sorry I forgot to fill you this morning. Once some shops open, we’ll get some baozi and you won’t have to cry anymore,”

He heard a light chuckle off to the side.

Xie Lian lifted his head and looked in the direction of the sound and saw a youth lounging in the sun across a bench. The young man was wearing a gray pullover hoodie and dark denim joggers that were tucked into worn boots. He had the hood pulled up over his head far enough to protect his eyes from the sun. His legs were bent and he rested one ankle across the other knee, allowing one booted foot to jiggle to a silent beat. 

Xie Lian smiled softly, glad that he had made someone laugh. 

Then his stomach made an even louder whine that he was sure the youth could clearly hear.

Xie Lian hid his head in his hands, rather embarrassed now, “Ah, I apologize for my stomach interrupting your nap! I’ll leave so it won’t bother you anymore,”

He made to stand, but heard the click of boots on pavement and saw the youth step in his direction. It only took him a couple paces because he had very long legs. Xie Lian hurriedly righted himself and clapped his hands together in an apology, squeezing his eyes shut and bowing. He wasn’t sure about the etiquette in Ghost City, but people interrupted during a nap could often be unfriendly.

“Please do not tire yourself; I will be the one to leave and you can continue your rest,”

He sensed that the person had stopped before him and he peeked his eyes open only for his vision to land on an out-stretched hand holding a little packaged sweet bun. Xie Lian blinked a couple times and then looked up from his bow. And up.

The youth was very tall, standing over a head taller than Xie Lian himself, and he wasn’t considered short at all. He still had the gray hood pulled over his head, but short wild hair escaped from inside. It covered half his face in a messy way that seemed distinctly deliberate, but Xie Lian could see one of his eyes through the forest of hair. It curved into a crescent as he smiled and gestured for Xie Lian to take the sweet bun.

“Ah!” Xie Lian put up his hands and waved, “No, I couldn’t take that, I--”

Before he could complete the sentence, the young man pulled his other hand out of his hoodie pocket and wiggled a second bun in the air.

“I have one for me already so I would be happy to give this extra to gege,” 

He had a deeper voice than Xie Lian was expecting, but it was very sincere and Xie Lian felt warmed by being addressed so familiarly. 

He laughed lightly and took the proffered sweet bun, “Alright, I accept! Thank you very much…?”

“Gege can call this one San Lang,” San Lang opened his sweet bun package and Xie Lian followed suit, enjoying the sweet scent that permeated the air.

“I’m Xie Lian. Thank you for sharing your snack with me,” he glanced around for a garbage bin, but didn’t see one around him and so went to tuck the wrapper in his pocket to dispose of it later.

San Lang tilted his head and looked down at him with discerning eyes, “Is gege visiting for the first time?”

Xie Lian blushed a little and covered his face with a hand in embarrassment. “Is it that obvious?”

San Lang hummed noncommittally and strode over to the edge of the building they were near. He approached a series of pipes lined up on the wall. They were each about 3 inches in diameter and as Xie Lian looked closer, he noticed that they all had different colored hatches located about four feet off the ground. He watched curiously as San Lang went up to one with the empty wrapper and pushed one of the hatches. It hinged at the bottom and Xie Lian could hear a light hissing sound. San Lang let go of the wrapper in his hand and it immediately disappeared as it was sucked up through the pipe.

Xie Lian gasped and rushed forward, looking at it in awe. He followed the series of pipes with his eyes and realized that they were following the rooftops and there were more sets of pipes every couple of buildings. He quickly reached his hand forward with his own empty wrapper and went to push on one of the hatches.

“Not that one, this one,” San Lang gestured gently, “Same color as the wrapper,”

Xie Lian looked down and realized that the wrapper had a blue edge. When he looked back at the hatches, he saw the blue one and pushed it in, gleefully watching it _swip_ away.

“Everyone reuses what they can, but sometimes we gotta get rid of things, so the tubes make it easy to collect things like that,”

“That’s amazing!!” Xie Lian was impressed at the construction but also the cooperation from the citizens that would be required to make this system effective.

San Lang just shrugged, “It works, I suppose,”

“This city is truly a masterpiece of engineering,” Xie Lian said, smiling widely.

San Lang looked down and bit into his sweet bun, which reminded Xie Lian to do the same. It was soft and fluffy and the crust crumbled with the thinnest layer of glaze. He hummed happily as he enjoyed the food. San Lang watched him through his mess of hair.

“So why is gege in Ghost City in the daytime? Most people choose to come at night,”

Xie Lian’s expression dropped into an exasperated frustration. “Well I was planning on visiting the museum, but I’ve gotten so turned around I don’t even know where I am,”

San Lang smiled, “You’re not too far, actually. Just a couple more blocks that way,” he gestured behind them and then said, “I can take you there if you want,”

Xie Lian breathed out a sigh of relief, “I would sincerely appreciate that! I would hate to get there and have it be closed already or something!”

“Hm, actually, I believe it should be just opening by the time we get there,”

Xie Lian blinked and then ah!-ed. It seemed everything really did operate on a night schedule. He smiled and finished off the bun, pointing spiritedly in the direction San Lang had indicated. “To the museum!”

San Lang looked down and huffed a contained laugh. “Yeah, to the museum,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are moments where I'm like: am I copying too much from the source material?
> 
> And then there are moments where I'm like: wtf, where did that come from??
> 
> Hope some of my more 'wtf' sections make sense u.u;;;
> 
> Thank you!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I apologize for taking so long with this chapter and for not responding to all your wonderful comments. I really appreciate all the love that you have given me and I will respond soon I promise! 
> 
> It is a real challenge to write when it's Bad Brain Times u.u thank you for waiting for me!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter :) I was going to put a lot more angsty conversation in here but it felt better to just have everyone be soft for a bit. Angst will come later lol.
> 
> Thank you!

“What is gege hoping to find in the museum that made him get to the city so early?” San Lang tilted his head down to look at Xie Lian, genuinely curious. 

Xie Lian grimaced awkwardly and rubbed the back of his head in slight embarrassment, “Ah, well, the main reason I am here so early is because I did not consider the city’s nightlife to be the standard operating procedure..”

San Lang let out a little puff of laughter, “There’s no official start time to the day or anything, it’s just a habit everyone caught on to,” he stuffed his hands back into his hoodie pockets and led them at a leisurely pace through the twists and turns of Ghost City.

Xie Lian found San Lang’s carefree personality infectious and felt himself relaxing as they strolled along with unhurried ease. He thought back to the casual attitude of the bunker during the kaiju attack the other night and posited that a laissez-faire attitude was typical for most Ghost City residents. Despite the active nightlife and bustling commerce, Xie Lian sensed an underlying determination to live a peaceful life that guided many of the people here. It was such a drastic difference from the stressed, dour mood of the base. He felt a little forlorn about the prospect of returning to the frenetic energy later after having experienced such calm. 

Xie Lian observed the city as they walked. The day was beginning to transition into late afternoon and he was seeing the signs of life unfolding around them. Someone threw open a window and he could hear jaunty music whistling through the colorful curtains that swayed in the breeze. An older woman nodded to them from her narrow patio as they passed, tending to a vertical garden of herbs and vegetables placed precisely in a position to get the most sunlight through the taller buildings on the winding street. A young child held the leash of an inquisitive dog that tugged her along as she wiped the crust from her tired eyes, yawning.

The small dog pulled it’s way to them and Xie Lian squatted down with a smile to scratch behind its ears. Its whole body wagged back and forth in tempo with its stubby tail and it put its paws on Xie Lian’s knee, big eyes staring straight into his in an effort to look as cute and pettable as possible. The little girl belatedly realized it had started bothering a stranger and tugged at the leash, apologizing quietly with another yawn. Xie Lian just laughed and gave it another pat on the head. He stood and watched the girl lead the dog away with a soft, contented look on his face.

“The people seem so comfortable and peaceful,” he whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. He looked over at San Lang and found the other watching him through the curtain of wild hair under his hoodie. While he couldn’t fully see his expression, Xie Lian still could not help but feel his ears warm slightly at the attention being paid to him. When was the last time someone had looked at him without a frown or that stiff grimace people gave when they were required to be pleasant? He was so used to a smile being immediately followed by a request or an order; the expression dropping as soon as they turned away. But San Lang’s expression could only be described as soft. Xie Lian played awkwardly with his sleeves and he cleared his throat, his eyes flitting away and his feet moving him forward, continuing on their trajectory towards the museum.

San Lang easily matched pace with him and responded, “We don’t have anyone telling us how to live our lives, so people just do what makes them happy. You don’t bother anyone and nobody bothers you,”

Xie Lian considered San Lang’s words for a moment and then thought back to the organized way the city had reacted to the sirens last night. The entire population had fallen in line and operated with such practiced ease, obviously following some sort of directive. No city could function without some guiding hand and from what Xie Lian had gathered, there was only one man that could have filled that role. “What about Hua Cheng? I thought he was the head of the city?”

San Lang gave a wry smile, “Oh? Have you heard of Hua Cheng then?”

Xie Lian tapped his chin and tilted his head, contemplating, “Hmm, only a little from his reputation. I have heard that he is the one responsible for creating Ghost City, but otherwise not much is known about him or his past. He seems to be admired by many but not regarded as well by outside authorities,”

San Lang snickered and his voice held back a dark amusement, “He doesn’t regard outside authorities well either,” He threw his hands behind his head and looked up at the clouds drifting lazily across the sky, “He helps keep people in line when they get rowdy here, but besides that, it’s not like people pay taxes to him or anything,”

Xie Lian blinked, a little baffled, “Don’t people call him Chengzhu? Everyone seems to treat him as if he is in charge of the whole city,”

He could see San Lang pursing his lips in a little frown, “Ghost City wasn’t built because Hua Cheng wanted some place to rule.. He just wanted to make somewhere people could come and feel safe,”

Xie Lian recalled the night before during the evacuation to the bunkers and his frantic panic attack. The man who had guided him through the crowd to safety had provided a gentle sanctuary in the insistent wave of movement. He had been a steady buffer against the hustle and bustle and Xie Lian could imagine those strong arms enveloping this city of remnants in a similar protective embrace. Every conversation he had had about the man in question had always been accompanied by the sense of mystery and awe, and sometimes even a twinge of fear, but San Lang’s words aligned more with Xie Lian’s own experience and solidified his opinions even more. Never one to believe gossip, Xie Lian was getting the impression that Hua Cheng’s reputation was purposefully built to be intimidating to outsiders, but that only made Xie Lian more intrigued.

Xie Lian had wandered all over the world during his exile and seen so much variety in lifestyles, but a very consistent pattern existed in the cities on the edge of the Pacific Ocean. Living so close to the origin of the kaiju put people on edge. There was an alertness and tension that everyone would desperately try to ignore and pretend everything was normal, but they were like frightened rabbits keeping one eye out for a nearby predator. There was none of that in Ghost City. Last night, Shi Qingxuan had only really taken him to the high traffic areas bustling with business and activity. Now being guided by someone more familiar with the rest of the city, Xie Lian was getting to see the regular people going about their day. They were taking side streets obviously not intended to attract tourists, and Xie Lian could not help but smile at the normalcy in which people were conducting their lives. He would have thought that they were walking through a city much farther away from the dangers of the breach, rather than butting up against the coast. 

“If Hua Cheng’s goal really was to make people feel safe, I believe that he has succeeded,” Xie Lian said, admiring some bits and baubles hanging as windchimes from a colorful awning. Almost unconsciously under his breath he quietly whispered, “Thank goodness,”

Xie Lian was lost in his observations of the people around him and let his feet follow along with San Lang automatically, so it took a moment to realize when they had stopped walking. Blinking, he focused on his surroundings and realized they had paused in front of a small corner cafe. The tables placed outside the shop were mismatched and all made out of different materials-- some wooden, some metal, some plastic, some a strange combination of each. Xie Lian could only tell they were meant for the cafe’s customers because they all had a layer of gaudy yellow paint splashed on them in an attempt to provide some sense of consistency. Xie Lian looked over to San who grinned and held up some mismatched chipped cups with steam rising from them.

“I got us some tea. It’s been getting colder lately,”

Xie Lian had not realized how lost he had been in his musings to have not even noticed that San Lang already ordered them drinks. He bashfully took the cup, warmth radiating through his fingertips, “Ah, thank you San Lang,”

San Lang motioned behind them to one of the sturdier tables, “We’re nearly at the museum, but I have enjoyed gege’s company and hope he would indulge me in joining me for a drink before we get there,” he moved to sit and then paused and added, “If gege doesn’t mind..”

Xie Lian couldn’t help but compare San Lang to the little puppy from before which had been so eager for his attention. He wasn’t sure if it was the temperature of the tea in his hands that was making him feel warm or the kindness and friendship of the young man he had only just met. He was glad for such company and was pleased that San Lang had been the one to suggest extending their time together. He hadn’t felt so comfortable in conversation for a long time and he wanted to get as much of it as he could in the time he had.

“Thank you,” he said in a quiet voice as he settled into his seat and enjoyed the warmth of the drink against his hands. He looked down to sip at the tea and saw that it had a flower bloom floating at the base of the cup, its delicate petals waving as the water swirled. The fragile flower contrasted so much with the old cup which had cracks webbing across its surface; a dichotomy of a broken vessel stubbornly holding onto the little beauty it contained. A wave of tenderness washed through him and he held the cup in his hands as if it were the most precious thing his hands had ever touched. He brought the cup up to his nose and took in the light floral scent wafting with the steam. 

San Lang lifted his own cup to his lips to take the first sip of the warm drink. In an almost unconscious movement, he flicked his head a little to get his hair out of his face so it didn’t get in the way of enjoying his tea. Xie Lian watched the movement and surreptitiously examined the youth as more of his face was revealed than Xie Lian had been able to see yet. He had a strong but slender jawline and a shadow of a smirk seemed to be permanently etched on his features, even while occupied with a drink. Analyzing his face now, Xie Lian realized the wild hair poking through the oversized hoodie had deceived his eyes into thinking San Lang was barely out of his teens; but with the hair brushed aside, it was clear that he was much more mature than his image alluded to. 

But what really caught Xie Lian’s attention were his eyes.

When he had met San Lang’s gaze before, one clear black eye peeked through the curtain of hair. Now, the other had been revealed. The one that had been visible earlier still shone brightly with mischief, but Xie Lian noted that the one San Lang had hidden was different. He couldn’t put his finger on why -- it was as black as the other -- but he could only describe it in his head as empty. He tracked vague white outlines of a scar extending from the lids into the hairline and he suspected the scars continued further around the side of his head. He felt a pang in his heart at the wound and couldn’t help but wonder if San Lang had received it during a kaiju attack. It looked like an old scar; he must have been very young when it happened. Xie Lian had a suspicion that he was blind in that eye, but he knew better than to pry into someone’s past.

He had tried to be subtle in his observations, sipping at the tea and letting some of the steam hide his gaze as it curled over his face in the cooling air, but his curiosity and interest had made him linger on San Lang’s face for much longer than anyone would have considered comfortable. Only San Lang’s chuckle shook him out of it. He started at the sound and blushed, taking a deep sip of the tea and wincing as the liquid burned its way down his throat.

San Lang leaned forward, putting his elbow on the table and resting his chin in his hand. He teased, “Does gege like what he sees?”

Xie Lian coughed wetly as he recovered and apologized, voice a little raw, “Ah, I’m sorry for my rudeness. I did not intend to offend you,”

“Not possible,” San Lang gave a smirk. Then he tilted his head a little and allowed his hair to fall to the side, revealing the eye and more of the scar, “I got this a long time ago. It was my own fault, so it’s not a big deal,” He looked down at his own drink, swirling it to get it spinning and then halting his movement to watch it turn into a little cyclone. “It took a while to get used to the difference in depth perception, but I barely realize it’s gone anymore,”

Xie Lian was having a hard time reading San Lang’s actual emotion about the subject. He was sure there was a story behind it, but he could not sense whether it was pain, wistfulness, or pride echoing through his voice. He could simply tell that he was hesitant to talk more about it and Xie Lian would respect his wishes. He thought about his own scars and understood how much pain, both mental and physical, accompanied such a mark. Too many people bore the weight of their past on their shoulders and a physical manifestation of a bad memory made it all the more challenging to overcome. His heart ached for the young man before him.

Before he realized it, his hand had extended and was hovering in front of San Lang’s face, fingers mere inches from the old wound. San Lang stared at him in shock, mouth slightly open, but otherwise did not move. For a moment neither of them breathed and then Xie Lian quickly withdrew his hand. He clasped his hands tightly around the little cup and reprimanded himself internally for invading the personal space of a person he had only just met. He cleared his throat and tried to think of a way to return to a natural flow of conversation, but found himself floundering a little.

After several awkward moments of fidgeting with his cup, San Lang came to the rescue.

“Gege never answered my question of what drew him to the museum?” 

Xie Lian blinked, getting his mind in order and processing the question, “Hm? Oh! Well, I saw some of the collection on the museum’s website that looked interesting and had some time today,” 

San Lang cocked an eyebrow, “Most of the stuff in there is a tourist trap. It’s mostly used for storage, but the curator managed to systematize it enough to make it worth calling a museum,” He smirked and added, “and charge people money to get in,”

Xie Lian was unable to resist a puff of laughter, “You make it sound like a junkyard!”

“Gege, this whole city is basically a big junkyard. The museum is just organized better,” San Lang retorted. He glanced over at Xie Lian, “What was it that caught your eye?”

Xie Lian hesitated. His time with San Lang had been so light and casual that he had nearly forgotten what his ultimate purpose in coming here was. The Task Force was in dire need of information on Mark 1’s and the blueprints that had been highlighted in the special collections of the museum had the potential to turn the tide in the stunted progress of the retro-fit. However, he was brought back to reality as he remembered that Task Force members were not well received in Ghost City once they were revealed. San Lang had treated him incredibly kindly so far and Xie Lian didn’t want to ruin that by pushing his agenda too much. At the same time, he saw no point in lying about his interest in Mark 1’s just as a topic of interest.

“There was a special collection of old Jaeger tech that looked intriguing. It’s been years since I’ve seen anything like that,”

San Lang leaned back in his chair, “If gege is really interested in old Jaeger tech, the museum may disappoint you,”

Xie Lian’s heart sank a little. San Lang must have noticed his crestfallen expression and fiddled with some flaking paint on the table, “What I mean is that the junk that’s in the museum is just that: junk,”

“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure!” he sipped on the last of his tea and set down the empty cup, “I was hoping to see the items they have displayed from Hua Cheng’s private collection-- certainly some of what he has lent the museum must be of some value,”

San Lang huffed out a breath in amusement, “The whole museum is Hua Cheng’s private collection,”

Xie Lian blinked in surprise, “When you say the whole museum..”

“Yeah, he just had a lot of stuff and needed a place for all the extra shit. He started storing the overflow there and then people got interested for some reason so he figured why not make some money off the day-ers,” San Lang shrugged. 

Xie Lian couldn’t help but give a loud laugh, “The website made it sound as if it was only going to be available to view for a limited time.. I suppose that’s done on purpose?”

San Lang snickered and replied cheekily, “Yeah, you can charge more for ‘special’ or ‘limited’ things. Complete tourist trap,”

Xie Lian sighed. He had been really hoping to find something useful to help Feng Xin and Mu Qing, but San Lang was making it sound like the knowledge was farther beyond his grasp than originally thought.

San Lang watched him for a moment then returned his gaze to his own empty cup and said quietly, “The stuff in the museum really isn’t anything special. Hua Cheng’s actual collection is kept safe elsewhere,”

Xie Lian perked up and unthinkingly reached across the little table to grip San Lang’s hand in excitement, “Really? Does he allow visitors or do any public showings? I’d love to see what he has!”

San Lang blinked at him and his eyes flicked down to Xie Lian’s hands on his. He ducked his head, hair brushing over his face and coughed lightly but made no other move, “He doesn’t for most people, but he could probably be convinced to make an exception..”

Xie Lian was caught up in his own energetic excitement, and squeezed San Lang’s hands tightly, “Do you think so? I wouldn’t want to impose, but that would be so wonderful! What’s the best way to ask for such a favor?”

San Lang smiled through his curtain of hair, “The curator at the museum doesn’t just organize Hua Cheng’s stuff, he also organizes his schedule,” he snickered to himself, “or he tries to anyway,”

Xie Lian released his hands as he stood up eagerly, “Well since I was already planning on going to the museum, then I see no reason to change course now! I am a tourist after all, so I suppose I have been caught by the trap. Could you point me to the curator when we arrive?”

San Lang stood up next to him and looked down with a fond smile, “This San Lang would be more than happy to help gege get whatever he wants in Ghost City,”

The warmth returned to Xie Lian’s ears, but he attributed it to the residual heat from the tea. He pulled his coat collar a little higher and hid his smile as San Lang returned the empty cups to a counter inside the cafe that had a little sign indicating where used dishware should go. He turned to continue their walk in the direction they had been moving before and San Lang rejoined him, that perpetual smile still perched lightly on his lips. San Lang’s kindness confused him, but it was such a lovely change to his usual interaction with people that he didn’t want to look too deeply into it. After another block of comfortable silence, San Lang gestured to the broad street that the little alley they strolled through opened up to.

“Here’s the main avenue, so if you look down the hill..”

Xie Lian passed onto the cobblestone of a very wide road that extended to the left up the hill and down the incline towards the ocean probably almost a full mile. He vaguely recognized it from last night’s adventures, but he had come onto the main thoroughfare much farther inland than they were now. Booths were starting to get set up as the city began to prepare for its busiest hours. The smell of food already permeated the air and he knew that the little sweet bun and cup of tea were not going to be enough to keep his stomach satisfied for much longer. His senses were so caught up taking in the increasing sights, sounds, and smells that it took him a moment to remember San Lang’s direction to look down the hill.

He knew it would probably be one of the larger buildings; he had a feeling he should be looking for a structure similar to the bunker he had been herded into during the kaiju attack. Most likely low to the ground and sturdily built. From what he knew, most of the bunkers served a double purpose to both act as a shelter when needed but otherwise serve the community in some way, such as this museum. His eyes traveled down from building to building until they finally came upon, as he suspected, a large low squat structure. As his eyes focused on the large hulking shape in the late afternoon light, Xie Lian’s mouth dropped open in awe. The building was made of concrete, no different than most of the other architectural patterns in the city, but what made it stand out was the unique adornment integrated into the design.

An entire kaiju skeleton was draped across the structure; sunken into the cement as if it were slowly being consumed back into the earth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out, writing dialogue is really hard when you're not good at conversation in real life either lol! Many restarts and rewrites later it finally feels right!
> 
> I'm on twitter by the same name btw ^^;; I just retweet a lot of fanart that makes me happy, but if you want your TL spammed by lots of hualian pics then you'll have come to the right place!
> 
> Hopefully next chapter won't take as long, but I really am thankful that you continue to stick with me!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support! I've got a lot of story to tell and it's a huge challenge not to spill the beans all at once.
> 
> I know this is getting long and I appreciate you sticking with me on this journey! <3

The kaiju’s bones gave off a gray sheen that seemed almost iridescent in the afternoon sunlight. Xie Lian did not recognize the skull of this particular kaiju but he had also purposefully not been tuned into the battles waging on the pacific rim over the last few years. The head was sharp and pointed and a long horn swept back from its nasal cavity. The protrusion began the pattern of jutting bone along the vertebrae that made it’s spine look like large gray sentinels arching over the building below it. The spine was the only part of the skeleton that was not almost entirely encased in the concrete. The lower jaw of the skull was not visible-- though it wasn’t immediately clear whether this kaiju had a lower jaw bone to begin with-- and the rib cage curved down over what was clearly the entrance.

With the kaiju remains laying in such a position, the doors to the museum were set so that the clavicle bone acted as the threshold as you went into the rib cage from the top. The building was too large for Xie Lian to see much more of the creature’s bones beyond that, but he suspected that there was a tail that wound it’s way further along the back. He hadn’t realized he had gotten closer until his foot hit an obstruction he was not expecting and he stumbled. San Lang had been walking slightly behind him to allow Xie Lian to take in the sight, but as Xie Lian tripped, he quickly shot out his arm and caught him by the waist to steady him.

“Careful gege, it’s a little uneven here,”

Xie Lian was struck by a sudden sense of familiarity as his hands caught San Lang’s forearm. Underneath the heavy oversized sweatshirt, Xie Lian felt strong arms that did not waver as he helped him right himself. Once upright, he let his hands linger on San Lang’s arm for a moment before smiling up at him, “Ah, thank you San Lang! It was my fault for not paying attention to where I was walking,”

San Lang stepped away once he saw that Xie Lian had fully regained his balance and then stuffed his hands back in his hoodie pockets and looked at the ground, “These don’t make very good steps anyway,”

Xie Lian looked down at what San Lang was referring to and saw that the steps up to the entrance-- filled in with some gravelly concrete-- were built around the kaiju’s arm bones. The first couple steps were the largest, the humerus thick and dense, and then the radii and ulnae making up the next set. As his eyes followed the path up, he saw that the last couple of steps were made up of the smaller phalanges. The two large heavy doors that acted as the entrance were flanked by two tall tusk-like fangs. Xie Lian made his way up and examined the long teeth. They were nearly as tall as he was. Etched into one was “Qiandeng Museum”. The other read: “Kaiju Research”. He could not help but be impressed at the construction and artistry behind the design of the entire building. It certainly made for an imposing picture.

He tapped his chin in thought and then turned to San Lang, “When it says ‘Kaiju Research’.. Is there a lab here as well?”

San Lang hesitated and then shook his head, “Not here.. Like I said, this place is mostly storage for extra junk. But the theme tends to be centered around kaiju, so the name makes some sense I suppose,”

Xie Lian hummed in thought. From their previous conversation, he knew that the contents of the museum were all Hua Cheng’s property. It seemed as if the man held a particular interest not only in jaegers but also the monsters they fought against. San Lang made it sound as if there were a lab elsewhere. When Shi Qingxuan had first told him about Hua Cheng, they also mentioned that he employed some tech genius-- Crimson Rain, was it?-- that helped to develop technology and weapons against the kaiju that far outshined anything made by the Task Force. Xie Lian hoped that he would be allowed to see Hua Cheng’s private collection of jaeger tech.. And maybe he could also get some hints about the research being done here. What a boon that could be to the operation! 

Ah, but he was getting ahead of himself. He first had to even see what was in this museum!

Xie Lian took another couple of steps up and found San Lang to be holding the door open for him and bowing him inside. He grinned at the silly gesture, but did not keep San Lang waiting. Right before hopping over the clavicle-threshold, his mind caught on the other line of text.

“Why ‘Qiandeng’?” 

If San Lang had not had his hands out of his pockets to keep the door open and guide Xie Lian in, he would have missed the sudden twitch of tension. Once both were inside, he let the door shut, closing out the ambient light and transitioning to bulbs overhead that glowed a rich yellow. He straightened himself and Xie Lian saw none of that tension linger, but the wild hair was covering his face a little more than it had before.

“There’s just some stuff here that made people a little sentimental,”

_ For lights? _ Xie Lian thought he must have been missing something and San Lang did not look particularly eager to elaborate. In fact, he almost looked a little ..apprehensive? Xie Lian politely dropped the topic for San Lang’s comfort-- he was curious, but not enough to make his new friend uncomfortable in any way. Instead, he pulled his attention back to their immediate surroundings. After the impact of the external features, the inside was relatively normal. The rib cage of the kaiju had only been visible on the outside and so even though Xie Lian knew it stretched over their heads, he otherwise would have thought himself to have entered a normal atrium.

Along one of the walls was a reception desk and Xie Lian could see an office area stretching back with rows of filing cabinets and shelves of books encroaching on any walking space. There was the sound of quick furtive tapping and as they approached, Xie Lian saw a man at a computer with dual monitors and a small tablet hooked up as a third. He was thin and wirey and his eyes were sharp and quick as he worked between the three screens. Xie Lian couldn’t see what he was typing so furiously, but he was incredibly focused. So much so that he didn’t notice them come up to the desk at first until San Lang cleared his throat loudly. 

“I’ll be with you in one second,” the man’s voice was quiet but firm.

“One,” San Lang said in an annoyed voice.

The man’s head shot up, eyes wide, staring at San Lang, “Chen--” his eyes flickered between San Lang and Xie Lian, a crease forming between his brows for a moment before being smoothed out as he gave an awkward forced smile, “Qiandeng Museum, welcome,” He stood hurriedly and stepped over a stack of papers to get to the desk. “How can I ..help you?”

Xie Lian took in this brief interaction and his mouth quirked. He clapped his hands together politely, “We would like to tour the museum, please. And possibly get a chance to speak with the curator about the wonderful collection,”

Once again, the man’s eyes flicked to San Lang who was playing with one of the pens that had been laying on the desk, twirling it between his long fingers. “Ah, yes, please go ahead and enjoy yourselves,” 

He took out a couple of lanyards and handed them to Xie Lian, who looked down in slight confusion and laughed lightly, “Thank you, but I would also like to visit the special collection. How much do I owe you?” He distinctly remembered San Lang saying something about a “tourist trap” and “charging extra”.

“Oh um,” the man struggled to give out an answer for a moment before San Lang cut in.

“Isn’t there a special today?” he flipped the pen and it spun in the air before landing squarely back in his grip.

The man perked up. “Special? Yes, special!” he spoke fast, “First five guests get free admission, and you are actually the first of the day!” 

“Oh! What luck!” Xie Lian grinned over at San Lang, “Thank you for getting me here with such perfect timing,”

San Lang ducked his head, “No problem gege,” then he turned back to the man-- who was just watching them with wide eyes and a confused expression-- and smirked sharply, “This is also the curator so if you wanted to set something up with Hua Cheng, now’s your chance,”

The man spluttered as Xie Lian turned to him, clapping his hands in excitement, “Is that so? Excellent! My name is Xie Lian,”

“Yin.. Yin Yu,” he responded with barely a whisper.

“It’s good to meet you, Yin Yu! I was told that you would be the person to speak to in setting up a meeting with Hua Cheng to view the rest of his collection that isn’t in the museum,” he raised a quick hand, waving the lanyards, “I will, of course, still take advantage of free admission to visit everything here first!”

Yin Yu was already a pale man, his face narrow and just a few sleepless nights from being described as gaunt, but Xie Lian could have sworn that he became even paler. He hesitated before replying, “Hua Cheng is a little unpredictable with his schedule. I help manage some of that, but I’m not sure when..” he trailed off awkwardly.

“Isn’t Hua Cheng throwing a party tonight at Paradise Manor?” San Lang said, lazily picking at his nails.

“Tonight? I don’t think--” 

“Mm, that’s what I heard. Sudden thing he decided on a whim,” he flicked away a non-existent piece of dirt.

“Ehrm,” Yin Yu stuttered a bit.

“Oh, San Lang, why didn’t you say earlier? That sounds like a perfect opportunity,” Xie Lian got the feeling that Hua Cheng often did things on a whim and felt some sympathy for Yin Yu, who seemed a little stressed at the moment. 

“Tonight,” Yin Yu repeated, “At Paradise Manor,”

“Yup,” San Lang smiled at him, teeth gleaming.

Yin Yu sighed, his shoulders dropping a little, “Ahem, yes, so long as he actually attends his own party, you would be able to meet with him. Please excuse me, I have to.. Finish.. Planning the party,” he gave a slight bow, pulled a phone out of his pocket and picked up the tablet at his desk before walking further into the office space beyond.

San Lang snickered.

“The poor man looks a little overworked,” Xie Lian said, watching the thin frame of the retreating man.

“He can handle it, it happens enough for him to be used to it by now” San Lang pushed away from the counter and started walking inwards toward the museum proper.

“Does Hua Cheng often throw sudden parties?” he followed, allowing San Lang to take the lead again in their path.

San Lang shrugged, “When he’s in a good mood,”

“Well that’s encouraging! It is always easier to ask someone for a favor when they are already happy,” Xie Lian hummed, “I wonder what caused him to choose today then?”

Xie Lian had said it more speculatively than in the hopes of an actual response, but San Lang replied, “An acquaintance he hasn’t seen in many years is in town, so I hear,”

Xie Lian ‘oh’ed and was quiet for a moment before pondering, “I hope I will not be interrupting him then. I would hate to be in the way..”

“No, gege, I don’t think you will be in the way,” San Lang said quickly and so decisively that it startled Xie Lian.

“Ah, thank you San Lang, I will still try not to take up too much time he would otherwise be spending with his friend,” Xie Lian wasn’t entirely sure, but he thought that San Lang was pouting a little. 

They entered the first exhibit and Xie Lian lit up with excitement about what he may see soon. “Speaking of taking up so much time, I do apologize for taking up so much of yours and making you guide me everywhere!”

“It’s been my pleasure, gege,” San Lang replied softly.

“Were you planning on attending the party tonight? It would be great to know people there.. I’m not as good at parties as I used to be,” Xie Lian laughed lightly.

“You will see me there,” San Lang assured him and Xie Lian felt that warmth flow through him again. He had tried not to be too pushy, but he really enjoyed San Lang’s company and was pleased to hear that the other also seemed happy to see him again. No forced excuse or “oh, sorry maybe another time” or “I’ll let you know” that made Xie Lian feel like a nuisance. 

They took their time wandering through the various exhibits. There were displays of objects that had been melted by kaiju acid. There was a reading room of newspapers and magazines all neatly preserved in hardcover casings. There was an entire room for the figurines of the jaegers and kaijus that had made their way into popular culture. One of the largest rooms had the actual jet that had fired the killing blow on the first kaiju to ever make landfall. Xie Lian was actually very impressed by the careful coordination of each room's theme and content. San Lang had said that the curator was responsible for giving this collection order and Xie Lian made a mental note to commend Yin Yu for his incredible sense of organization.

After meandering through the hallways for a while, Xie Lian finally saw a sign pointing through an open set of double doors that read ‘Special Collection’ and tugged on San Lang’s sleeve. “Oh! We’re here!”

Xie Lian pulled at San Lang’s arm and made a beeline into the exhibit that had been his main purpose for coming here. San Lang easily matched his excited trot into the brightly lit space. Once inside, he spun on his heel to get a better bearing of his surroundings. It was a single room bathed in warm lighting and a little smaller than he had thought it would be. The displays were arranged along the wall cordoned off by rope and polite signs reminding patrons to not touch any objects. Set in the middle of the room was a glass case enclosing another display. The area between the cordoned off wall displays and the center case provided enough space for them to walk comfortably side-by-side as they looked at the collection.

As it stood right in the center, Xie Lian was first drawn to the case in the center of the room. Once he got closer, he suddenly realized what he was looking at and his eyes widened. Arranged in the tower were fragments of one of the original attempts at the neural interface technology. The headgear was in several pieces on separate cushions to display the diodes and connective attachments. There was a control glove with wires exposed. There was even a boot, which was laid on its side so that the mechanism for hooking up to the mobility test chamber was visible. Memories surfaced of the whirlwind of his youth when he was one of the first to don the new invention. Those early days were wonderful times full of success and recognition and he felt a fond wave of nostalgia pulse through him at the sight of the now-outdated tech.

The nostalgia was quickly overshadowed by more recent memories and he pulled himself away from the display to see what else was in the room. In the cordoned areas, he saw that there were several clearly differentiated arrangements. One of the original Mark 1 jaeger suits was posed on a mannequin, the helmet placed on a pedestal beside it. There was an old engine core, obviously damaged beyond repair, but still an impressive feat of engineering to behold. Finally, he came up to a pedestal that held a large portfolio of thin crisp sheets of paper, precise lines and angles inscribed upon them. Holding his breath, he stepped up to the edge of the cordon, leaning slightly to get as close as he could.

The drawing visible on the top-most paper depicted a complete drawing of a Mark 1 jaeger, with a front, side, and back view. Xie Lian was familiar with the general design of Mark 1’s but otherwise he did not recognize this particular model. The semi-translucent pages hinted at other sketches hidden underneath the first page and he itched to flip it. He bit his lip, fighting between his sense of duty to learn more and his unwillingness to so blatantly ignore the “no touching” sign. Before he could come to a decision, a long arm came into his vision, reaching around him to pluck the page up and rest it on the opposite side of the portfolio, revealing the page underneath.

“San Lang!” Xie Lian whispered in a worried voice, “We’re not supposed to touch the displays!”

“It’s fine, it’s a little silly for the rest of the papers to be hidden anyway,” San Lang looked at him with a wide eye and pouted, “Besides, gege was curious, right?”

Xie Lian stared at him for a moment before giggling quietly, “San Lang is correct on both counts! We will just be careful,”

Feeling emboldened, Xie Lian examined the next several pages of the blueprints in the portfolio, holding them gently as the thin papers wafted in the little breeze of movement. The first page had been an interesting novelty, but had not given him any information to take back to the Task Force. As he flipped through the rest of the papers, he saw that there truly was not anything he could use in this selection of drawings. There were several pages of schematics on the original nuclear core, but they had phased out that technology before it had ever really begun because of the dangers inherent in the radiation. Another page depicted a markup of some of the wiring, but it was formatted for the eyes of an engineer and Xie Lian’s eyes were crossed just trying to follow one line to another. Still more pages depicted drawings of singular components, but nothing that showed the schematics to bring it all together. He got to the last page, showing a sliding tube of some sort, and sighed, shoulders slumping.

“Was gege hoping to find something in particular in the plans?” San Lang’s voice came from closer to his ear than he expected-- he had been leaning over Xie Lian a little to watch him flip through the pages-- and Xie Lian jumped slightly at the proximity. He had been so absorbed in the schematics that he had not even noticed San Lang’s presence so close to him.

“Oh! Ah, not really. I didn’t know what I’d see, but there was nothing in particular that stood out,” It was the truth and he didn’t want San Lang to expect any ulterior motives.

San Lang hummed a little in contemplation, “Gege just seemed disappointed. I did say that most of the stuff here was just some scraps,”

Xie Lian waved his hands, “No! There are truly some wonderful things here. It is a fantastic collection. The real collection must be even more amazing,”

San Lang smirked, “You’ll have to see for yourself,”

Xie Lian laughed at his cheekiness and led the way out of the special collection. By now, it was getting later in the day and he began to see other visitors to the museum exploring the displays. It was quite easy to tell the residents of Ghost City from the day-pass tourists, mostly due to their fashion sense. While not all of them followed the trend-- San Lang being a clear example in his simple large gray hoodie and joggers-- many of the residents had some sort of odd mismatched item or pieced together article of clothing adorning their body. It made Xie Lian feel rather at home with his own patched, holey sets of clothes. In his observation of the growing number of people wandering through the exhibits, a pattern emerged that he could not ignore.

“San Lang,” his eyes followed a mother and child as they walked by, footsteps unhurried but clearly intent on their destination.

“Hm?” San Lang angled his head down and cocked an eyebrow, waiting for Xie Lian to say more.

“Where are they all going? It seems like all of the residents I’ve seen come through are all headed in the same direction,”

San Lang straightened up a little and took a moment to respond, “Nowhere special, there’s just a room they all like to visit sometimes, that’s all,”

It was too vague of a response not to pique Xie Lian’s interest. Without thinking much more, he made to follow an older man, who was carrying a basket in one arm. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw San Lang make a motion to stop him, but then aborted the movement and just followed after. The path the older man took led them down a flight of stairs that Xie Lian had not noticed before. It was a rather nondescript stairwell and the steps ended on a landing with another set of double-doors-- similar to the ones that had been perched open for the special collection room-- except these were closed. Xie Lian watched as the man swung through the door and disappeared. He did not hesitate to follow and he pushed the door open, walking inside.

He was not expecting it to be such a dark room. Compared to the lit hallways and stairway that they had come from, his eyes had trouble adjusting to the dim light. The door closed behind him, shutting out the outside light and enveloping them in darkness. He blinked a couple times and then realized one of the main reasons it was so dark was due to a curtain hanging in front of this little entryway. At the bottom edge of the curtain glowed a warm, orange light. Xie Lian reached out a hand, hesitated for a moment, and then swept the curtain aside to reveal a large tall-ceilinged spacious room. New lights now reflected in his eyes, but it was not from overhead bulbs or even wall lamps. His mouth dropped as he finally understood the source of the luminescence in the room.

Clear panels-- made of an acrylic material only a couple inches thick-- were lined up in rows and rows filling in the entire room. The panels were of varying widths, but they were placed so that the shortest ones were in the front and they gradually grew taller as they went further into the room until the back ones reached almost two stories tall. Encased in the clear acrylic were depictions of floating lanterns, and those lanterns caught the light projected up through the base, making it seem as if they themselves were glowing. The effect of the towers increasing in height gave the perspective that the lanterns were floating up and away into the sky. Xie Lian finally understood why the museum was called ‘Qiandeng’. 

He walked forward slowly, almost reverently, and entered the forest of lights, looking up at the glowing lanterns above him. There was enough room between the rows to walk comfortably and he traced his hand over several encased lanterns as he made his way around the paths. Slight movement caught his attention and he looked over through the dim light to the source. The mother and child from before were sitting on the ground in front of one of the towers and were holding a hushed conversation, seemingly talking to the tower itself. Now that he was paying attention, he noticed several other groups settled in front of various towers, he saw one person pour two glasses of wine. He could not for the life of him understand why the residents were using this installation as almost a picnic area.

He turned, “San Lang--” and noticed that San Lang was no longer behind him. He blinked, and looked around briefly and saw the young man was leaning against one of the towers down the row. He was trying to look relaxed and nonchalant, but in the brief time he had known him, Xie Lian could tell that there was a tension laced through his posture. He walked over to him, concerned, “San Lang, are you alright?”

San Lang started and looked at him with a wide eye, almost surprised at his concern. He smiled stiffly, “Yeah, gege I’m fine,”

Xie Lian watched him for a moment more, before turning back to look at the towers around them and asking in a quiet voice, “San Lang, what is this place?”

He was patient in waiting for the young man to respond. Finally, San Lang spoke, “It’s a memorial,”

There was silence as Xie Lian processed what San Lang had said. 

A memorial. 

For the residents of Ghost City. 

Which had once been Yong’An.

Which had been destroyed ten years ago.

By him.

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped as his gaze passed slowly over the towers and the guests scattered across the space with a new perspective. Through the glow of the projected light through the lanterns, he could see the nearby mother and child and he noticed that the child seemed about ten years old. A quiet choked gasp escaped his throat and he staggered a bit, catching himself against one of the towers. As his hand fell on the flat smooth surface, his fingers met a texture that he had not noticed before. He moved his hand and revealed a tiny roughly etched name inscribed on the surface of the acrylic in front of one of the lanterns. He stroked the rough lines, but had trouble reading it-- partly because it was not written very neatly, but also because his vision had been blurred by tears.

It took a moment to realize his knees had hit the ground, the pain of hitting the hard surface delayed in reaching his mind. It took another moment to realize that a panicked San Lang had also dropped to his knees in front of him and was calling to him, holding his face gently.

“Gege! Xie Lian!”

Xie Lian tried his best to focus on the man in front of him, but he felt frozen as the tears streamed down his face. His mouth moved, trying to form words.

“I-- I’m.. so sorry,” he finally choked out, voice strained as he looked blearily up into San Lang’s worried face.

“No!” San Lang’s voice echoed a little in the quiet room, causing some of the other people to glance over at them with a sour look. Xie Lian flinched at the shout and San Lang lowered his voice and his eyes met Xie Lian’s, wide and sincere, “No. This.. This was not meant to condemn you. Quite the opposite! Please don’t take any blame,”

His thumb wiped away a tear track and Xie Lian’s breath hitched and he looked straight into San Lang’s eyes, mumbling wetly, “You.. know who I am,”

San Lang’s hands spasmed on his face and he released him, pulling back, but he did not look away. He met Xie Lian’s gaze with a mixture of emotions, but the main one that ended up surfacing was shame. “Yeah. I always have,”

Xie Lian’s brain fired rapidly and all the memories of the day spent with San Lang resurfaced, but even in his panic, he didn’t remember feeling any hate or disgust from the man. He couldn’t understand, so he whispered, “If.. If you know who I am.. What I did.. How can you stand to even be near me?”

San Lang’s hands dropped and hesitantly fell onto Xie Lian’s, grip tightening a little when he did not pull away. His eyes bold and sincere and his voice certain, he said, “Because I know that it wasn’t you,”

Xie Lian felt his lips part in disbelief and looked down, tears clouding his vision again. “But it was. I was the pilot,” He started to pull away, “I was in control--”

San Lang held his hands, refusing to let him run. “Were you?”

Xie Lian froze and his eyes shot back up to meet San Lang’s, searching them desperately for something-- he wasn’t sure what. He didn’t speak, he didn’t know what to say. After several long moments, San Lang closed his eyes and stood, pulling Xie Lian with him.

“I’m sorry for bringing you here, gege. But please know that this was set up to honor the lost and then remember to move forward. This city-- these people-- bear you no hate,”

“How could they not?”  _ When I bear my own hate daily _ .

“Because they recognize who the real enemy is,”

Xie Lian paused, frowning a little, “The kaiju?”

San Lang shook his head, “Not exactly,”

“Then I don’t understand,” Xie Lian sighed.

“I can explain. But first, let’s get out of here,” San Lang had not let go of his hands so when he turned to go, Xie Lian was also pulled into motion.

He watched the back of San Lang’s head through the orange glow of the lanterns around them and then looked down at the large hand enveloping his. He felt the latent strength, but he also sensed no force. Even though San Lang was leading, Xie Lian had no doubt that he could pick the direction they were going and San Lang would adjust immediately, but he allowed him to guide him out of the lantern room and back up the stairwell into the main museum. He didn’t understand why this man was so kind and good to him, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know why he thought that Xie Lian of all people deserved such soft treatment. His thoughts processed and his overburdened brain could really only come up with one word to define how he felt with this young man: safe.

At the top of the stairwell, in the much brighter light of the museum hallways, he came to a conclusion.

“Thank you,” he whispered in a small voice, “Hua Cheng,”

The hand holding his tensed and San Lang slowed his pace until they came to a stop. He let go of Xie Lian’s hand, which left it regretfully much colder, and replaced both of his back into his hoodie pockets. He turned enough so that Xie Lian could only see his profile. The ever-present smirk was back on his lips, but his eyes were hidden still. He gave a forced chuckle, “Kinda blew my cover, didn’t I?”

Xie Lian hummed and tapped his chin, a smile finally returning to his lips, “You were never really subtle,” 

He gave a little giggle and San Lang-- Hua Cheng-- joined him with a huff of laughter and soon the mood lightened.

Xie Lian wiped a tear of mirth away and looked the other man up and down, “Still, it took me a while to really get it. I didn’t think that the famous Hua Chengzhu would be so young and dress so casually,” His mind stuck on the metal jewelry and deep red sleeve he had seen the other night.

“Oh this?” he looked down at his ensemble, “I don't look like this normally. I dress this way when I don’t feel like being Hua Cheng. He tends to stand out a little,”

Xie Lian could appreciate wanting to blend in and disappear every once in a while, but he secretly thought that-- even dressed in a gray hoodie and black joggers-- he still stood out. Something else perked his interest though: “Is Hua Cheng not your real name? Do you prefer San Lang then?”

He ducked his head and smiled slightly, “Only if it’s gege,”

Xie Lian softened and nodded, “San Lang it is then,” 

He had so many questions to ask and he opened his mouth to start, but was immediately interrupted by the sound of loud angry voices echoing down the hallway leading to the entrance. They both glanced at each other and then moved in that direction to see what all the ruckus was. As they drew closer, Xie Lian got the distinct impression that he recognized those voices. He flicked his eyes over to San Lang, whose pace was unhurried, but whose face was a cool mask. His gut tightened and when they turned the corner he groaned inwardly. He heard a  _ tsk _ of annoyance from San Lang as the reception area came into view.

For some reason Xie Lian could not comprehend, Feng Xin and Mu Qing had chosen the museum to stage their next shouting match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! See you next chapter! (^.^)/


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you have the energy, you gotta use it! So.. here is another chapter already!!
> 
> This is an incredibly self-indulgent chapter. Some parts went a lot longer than planned, but I couldn't resist and I hope you don't mind! Next chapter is gonna be some serious plot, so for now enjoy some fun :)

“How do we even know if he’s here? You got us lost and he has a worse sense of direction than you!”

“If you didn’t just let him explore this goddamn city he wouldn’t have even known this place existed!”

“I’m not his babysitter! He can do what he likes!”

“And if we end up with no pilot because he went fucking catatonic again, what are we supposed to do?”

“Stop protecting him! He came back of his own free will, I don’t care about the details!”

“What the fuck! He was your friend! Don’t you care about _that_ detail?”

Xie Lian cleared his throat awkwardly and Mu Qing and Feng Xin spun toward him and froze, their faces going red with embarrassment rather than anger now.

“Hello you two,” he tried to sound like he hadn’t just interrupted a conversation where they were clearly arguing about his ability to make conscious decisions.

“Erhm,” Feng Xin shuffled his feet and didn’t meet his eyes.

“So you _were_ here,” Mu Qing huffed, folding his arms.

He looked between them both, an eyebrow raised, “Yes, I am here.. Why are you?”

Mu Qing gave a _tch_ and Feng Xin scratched the back of his head, a little abashed that they had been caught, “Ah well, see, I didn’t know you had gone to the city last night and I was concerned because of..” he grimaced, “Anyway, I went to find you, but you weren’t around, and then I ran into Mu Qing who told me why you came and that you probably went back since you couldn’t see anything last night and since people from the base aren’t allowed in Ghost City, I thought that you may run into trouble and..” he trailed off.

Xie Lian smiled and felt happy that the care they all used to have for each other had not been completely erased. “Thank you for your concern, but as you can see, I am perfectly fine!” He extended his arms out to show that no bodily harm had befallen him.

“Yeah. Well.. that’s good then,” Feng Xin nodded and then started looking around the museum atrium as if he were interested in the architecture.

Xie Lian raised an eyebrow at Mu Qing who sniffed and added on, “I only came to make sure he didn’t get in trouble either,” gesturing to Feng Xin, who gave him an offended look and was about to defend himself when Mu Qing cut him off sharply, “You got us lost twice. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t still be stuck ten streets away without me,”

A snicker came from behind Xie Lian and the two men tensed and shot in front of him to confront the stranger. Xie Lian realized that San Lang had lingered in the shadows and only now couldn’t resist laughing at the ridiculousness of the two.

“You got a problem?” Mu Qing sneered in his direction.

Xie Lian felt a rough pull on his arm from Feng Xin and he could see the playful grin on San Lang’s face drop as he glared at them.

“No, but you might,”

“We were just leaving,” Feng Xin said in a growl.

Xie Lian saw San Lang take a step towards them and he shimmied out of Feng Xin’s grip to stand between them. He put up his hands placatingly and tried to calm them down, “Feng Xin, Mu Qing, no need to be so tense! Everything is fine!”

They both gave him confused, incredulous looks.

Xie Lian gestured toward San Lang, “This is San Lang. He has been gracious enough to guide me around the city today. He’s perfectly harmless,” Xie Lian had his back to San Lang and so did not see the grin that San Lang gave them then looked anything but harmless.

Feng Xin scoffed, “Yeah right, he’s probably already reported us. We need to leave. Now,”

_But he’s the one anyone would be reporting to, so.._

Xie Lian waved his hands, “No, no reporting! We just had some fun around the museum today! Oh, and we’ll be going to a party tonight too,”

Both the men spluttered.

“A party? Do you really think now is the time to play around??” Mu Qing hissed.

“They aren’t invited, gege,” San Lang said, stepping closer to him and looking down at the two with disdain.

“Like we’d wanna go to any dumb party here anyway,” Feng Xin crossed his arms and his frown deepened.

“Ah, wait you two, this isn’t exactly for play..” he really wished they would calm down enough for him to explain properly. He looked up at San Lang, eyes apologetic, “Sorry San Lang, I should probably go with them for a bit,”

San Lang pouted, but nodded and stepped away.

“I will make it tonight,” Xie Lian said in a low reassuring voice.

San Lang chuckled, “I know who to blame if you don’t,” He purposefully did not lower his voice so that Mu Qing and Feng Xin could hear him clearly and both their faces turned stormy.

Xie Lian sighed but still couldn’t help a smile twitch at his lips. San Lang turned towards the reception desk and made to hop over the counter to the back, but Xie Lian followed after him without thinking, reaching out to tug at his sleeve. San Lang looked down at him with a surprised eye. Xie Lian was just as surprised that he had moved with him so naturally, like a magnet to metal, and a blush traveled from his ears to his cheekbones. He let go hurriedly and gripped his own arm in a vice grip instead.

“San Lang, I did mean to ask something,” he said quietly, having stepped far enough away from Feng Xin and Mu Qing that their hushed voices became more difficult to make out.

“Anything,” San Lang said, soft in the privacy of the space they created.

“Tonight.. I will recognize you, right?” With the knowledge that the man before him was technically in disguise, he had felt a wavering insecurity that he wouldn’t know him right away and accidentally miss him.

San Lang gave a puff of laughter, “Don’t worry, gege. I’ll make sure you can’t miss me,” and with a smirk he pulled himself over the counter and disappeared back into the office Yin Yu had retreated to earlier.

Xie Lian smiled to himself, grasping onto that feeling of warmth and security and holding tight. When he turned back to his two friends, they were both staring at him with unreadable expressions on their faces. He blinked at them and cocked his head in confusion, “Are you two okay?”

After a moments pause, Feng Xin muttered, “What the fuck was that?”

“Was.. what?” Xie Lian’s brows were raised in confusion.

Mu Qing pointed after San Lang, “That!”

His brow rose even higher and he responded, baffled, “San Lang? He is from here and he helped me when I got a little turned around..??”

He watched both Mu Qing and Feng Xin exchange a look and he sighed, putting his hand to his forehead and giving it a good rub. He didn’t feel one of his recent headaches coming on, but he knew dealing with these two was sometimes worse.

“C’mon,” he smiled and hooked both their elbows with his. “Let’s go find some food and I’ll tell you what I’ve been able to find,”

“Find?” Feng Xin looked over to him, interest overruling any other emotion he was feeling. “You actually found something useful in this garbage heap?”

Xie Lian laughed lightly, “My dear friends, I will tell you that I have become quite proficient in finding treasures in garbage heaps over the years,”

He hummed as he dragged them out of the museum and completely missed the uncomfortable frowns that flashed across both their faces at that moment.

\--

“I don’t like it,” Feng Xin grumbled.

“The tart?” Xie Lian paused, his spoon inches from his mouth and emanating a buttery decadent scent.

“Your plan!” he hissed. Xie Lian saw Mu Qing rolling his eyes.

They had left the museum and easily been able to follow their noses to food stalls that were fully set up and catering to long lines of excited people. Xie Lian had been particularly drawn to a cart with little single-serve egg tarts displayed in neat rows on the counter. He had not hesitated in choosing one, but he was now unsure whether Feng Xin or Mu Qing were even hungry. He sighed and took the bite, relishing the taste as the other two sat sullenly on the other side of the table.

He gently wrapped the little wooden utensil he had been given with the tart in a handkerchief and set it on the table for later use. He folded his hands in front of him, his back straight as he looked his friends in the eye with an unwavering confidence.

“Please believe me when I say I will be fine. There is never any harm in at least asking for help-- which you two probably should have done months ago-- and since I have the opportunity, I am not going to let it go to waste,”

He watched as their faces both twisted, wanting to argue more, but finally deciding against it. Mu Qing sat back, arms crossed and face dark. 

Feng Xin leaned forward and said with finality, “You know that we are coming with you,”

Mu Qing sniffed and glared at some passersby, but did not disagree with him.

Xie Lian grimaced, thinking about the interaction earlier. “That may not be the best idea..”

“Who cares,” Mu Qing gritted his teeth and spat out, “No way we’re letting you walk straight into the lion's den without us,”

Xie Lian would have been touched if it had not looked like Mu Qing was going to break his teeth as he spoke. 

“Where is this party happening anyway?” Feng Xin asked, finally biting into his egg tart. His brows raised and he took another bite immediately after.

Xie Lian held back a little chuckle at the sudden enthusiasm for the food, but also had to pause, “Hmm, Paradise Manor.. Is what I was told,”

“Paradise Manor?” Feng Xin repeated, lip turning up slightly, “It’s at his house?”

“I suppose so..” Xie Lian tapped his chin, thinking. He probably should have asked for more details.

“ _Paradise_ Manor,” Mu Qing scoffed, “Who names their house something like that?”

Xie Lian shrugged, he hadn’t really thought anything of it. They decided to first finish their tarts-- Feng Xin ate both his and Mu Qing’s, who had not eaten a bite-- and then ask someone for directions. Returning the utensils to the cart they had gotten the tarts from, he got the attention of the woman behind the counter.

“Excuse me, I wanted to compliment you on your delicious baking skills. I don’t think I’ve ever had its like!” he smiled, open and honest, and she tittered.

“Oh you sweet thing,” she said, patting him on the cheek with a flour covered hand.

He clapped his hands together and bowed slightly, “I wonder if I might humbly request your help in a matter,”

“How did a young man like you come across such good manners,” she leaned against the counter, “What kind of help are you looking for?”

“Directions,” he maintained his little respectful bow, “Could you please point me towards Paradise Manor?”

She looked him over, “Now, you don’t seem like the type to be going there,”

He cocked his head slightly in confusion and looked down at his simple well-worn clothes, “Hmm, I suppose looks can be deceiving! How might I find my way there?”

She arched her eyebrow and then pointed further down the avenue, past the museum, in the direction of the coast. “Follow the street all the way down to the sea wall and then take a left. You really won’t be able to miss it,”

He thanked her and once again complemented her baking skills, retreating back to Feng Xin and Mu Qing.

“What did she mean, ‘you don’t seem the type’?” Feng Xin asked.

“If it’s a party, I doubt anyone would usually show up with a hole in the elbow of their jacket,” Mu Qing grimaced and his eyes flicked down to Xie Lian’s arm.

He twisted his arm to see his elbow and sure enough there was a large tear there that he hadn’t noticed. He shrugged, “Maybe I’ll start a new trend!” 

He giggled a little and Mu Qing just rolled his eyes.

“I’ll fix it up later. Let’s head down there and see if the party has started yet!”

The waning sunlight had finally dropped below the horizon while they had been enjoying their food and Ghost City was fully awake and pulsing with life now. It was hard to tell that it was late evening with the amount of neon and flashing lights glowing from every possible crevice of the slap-dash buildings around them. Xie Lian thought it looked like they had even cracked glow sticks and sprayed them across every surface. With the memory of San Lang’s reassuring voice telling him that no one here was about to discover and vilify him, he allowed himself to truly enjoy what this city of remnants had become. He laughed as some children raced around them, halting their progress, trailed by a line of bubbles floating off a soapy stick. The bubbles traveled upwards, catching the reflections of the multicolored sets of lights around them and bending them into new patterns until they quietly burst into nothing. Eyes glittering, he looked over at his two friends and found them just standing next to each other, glowering at the people around them. Xie Lian sighed and pulled them to continue walking.

The walk down to the sea wall took longer than it should have because Xie Lian kept getting side-tracked by the various oddities peddled up and down the long avenue. When they reached the sea wall itself, Xie Lian sobered up a bit and walked to the edge, looking down at the lapping water. From this part of the wall, the water was too far below for it to reflect any of the light radiating from Ghost City, but Xie Lian looked farther down the coast and saw the elevation decreasing until it became a sandy embankment. Images of a dead kaiju split in two, sinking into the soft earth below, began to superimpose itself over his vision. But before the memory could fully surface, he heard Mu Qing scoff in abject disgust and Feng Xin swear under his breath.

“What the fuck? It’s a fucking club,”

Xie Lian turned and looked the other direction up the boardwalk that conformed to the shape of the sea wall. A large building, probably a repurposed warehouse, was decked out in an amount of lights and garish adornments that made it challenging to look directly at without having to squint. He couldn’t hear what music was playing, but if he focused, he could feel the rhythm beneath his feet even from this distance. There was a line, stretching almost back to the main avenue, full of youths in various states of dress and various states of sobriety. The three of them looked at the gathering of animated people and felt that they were very much out of their depth. Xie Lian had not really experienced the typical ‘youth’ activities because he had been so singularly focused on the jaeger project and both Feng Xin and Mu Qing were not exactly the clubbing type either, more the ‘judge people who club’ type-- as currently evidenced by their faces now.

As they approached, they heard one of the bouncers shouting out instructions to the rowdy line, “Please remember to have your ticket visible to scan and your right hand out for a stamp,”

People started enthusiastically waving their tickets in the air, the movement rippling down the line in a wave.

“Well,” Mu Qing said, turning pointedly to Xie Lian, “Do you have a ticket?”

Xie Lian bit his lip and shrugged. Mu Qing rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, annoyed finger tapping at an alarming pace.

“It was worth a try, now can we please go home?” Feng Xin whined.

Xie Lian frowned. He knew San Lang wouldn’t have left him without a way--

..Oh!

He dug into the front of his jacket, unzipping the little inner pocket and pulled out the red square card with the holographic butterfly on it. The blazing lights from the club flashed across the image and once again it seemed as if it were alive and about to flutter away. He grinned, his heart pumping as he gripped the card tight in his palm and sped toward the front entrance. He went up to one of the bouncers but before he could get a word out, the woman held up a hand.

“Please go to the end of the line and have your ticket ready,” she pointed with her thumb at the long line that curved around the building out of sight.

“Ah, well I don’t exactly have one of those, but--”

She cut him off, “Sorry sir, exclusive event tonight for ticket holders only,”

“Hmm, I see.. Does this count?” Xie Lian opened his palm.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing caught up with him, panting slightly, as the bouncer took in the little card sitting on Xie Lian’s hand. She quickly straightened and put a finger to her ear, turning to talk in hushed tones to someone on the other end. A surprised look came over her face and her jaw dropped slightly as she turned back to Xie Lian.

“Erhm, well,” she pulled the door behind them open and gave Xie Lian a stiff bow.

Before he entered, Xie Lian looked back at Feng Xin and Mu Qing who were also staring at him open mouthed, and said with as much authority as he could muster, “They’re with me,”

The woman looked the other two over and frowned, “I’m not sure--”

“They are with me.” he kept his voice strong, but his hand gripped the little card with more force than was necessary.

“Um--”

Xie Lian grabbed the other two and pushed them through the door to the sound of complaining from the waiting crowd outside before she could come to any decision. A step through the doors threw them into darkness with only black-light tracks at their feet to guide them. The thumping of the music grew even more present, pulsing through their bones. Xie Lian’s feet moved him forward with each beat of the bass, leading him down the corridor, which finally opened up to a landing overlooking the space beyond.

Paradise Manor seemed to not only be a club-- with the standard dance floor and DJ-- but a partition on the floor also separated the dance area from a full-blown arcade. And a sign pointing down some stairs in the back indicated that there may be an actual casino under their feet as well. Those same stairs twisted up and when Xie Lian followed it with his eyes, he saw that it led to a loft area with tables and chairs and booths arranged in an obvious dining layout, glass walls enclosing it to block out the noise below but still allow the patrons to look down on the activity. It seemed that for anyone looking for any sort of “nightlife”, this truly was an all-encompassing paradise.

Xie Lian took it all in, admiring the spectacle, but was wondering how he could possibly find San Lang in this crowd. The throng of people seemed at capacity, yet even more continued to pour in from the regular entrance below them. He considered for a moment, tapping his chin thoughtfully. San Lang had said that he would make sure that Xie Lian would be able to notice him. That seemed to disqualify the dance floor-- the press of bodies made it nigh impossible to distinguish one person from another. He glanced over at the arcade, lights and sounds creating a cacophony of noises that somehow did not clash with the music on the dance floor, but it too was too crowded to be a possibility at this point. A quick scan across the dining platform did not reveal anyone that even came close to having the same presence as San Lang did-- though Xie Lian spotted a couple of VIP booths with curtains drawn. The only other option would be to look around the downstairs casino.

He was about to make his way down into the mob of people when the lights suddenly went out on the dance floor and everybody cheered. Xie Lian might have thought there was a power outage but the music continued, though at a lowered volume, and the arcade was still operating, flashing reflections of colored light across the excited crowd. It seemed as if they were expecting something, all faces turned up to a little stage next to the DJ’s booth. It was dark enough in that corner that not even those closest to the stage could see anything. The music had been dulled to a level that allowed Xie Lian to actually catch some pieces of conversation from the people directly below him:

“..actually see him?”

“I’ve always missed it--”

“--can’t believe we actually scored a ticket!”

“Do you think he’ll really be here this time?”

Suddenly a voice came over the loudspeaker and Xie Lian perked up. Even through the cacophony of sound, he immediately recognized San Lang’s voice. If it had not been projected across the entire floor, it might have sounded like he was just casually talking to the person next to him.

“Hmm, you all seem to be in a good mood tonight,”

Screams of agreement and shouts of ‘Chengzhu!’ echoed around the room. Lights flickered, but still not enough for Xie Lian to see anything. He leaned slightly over the metal bar at the edge of the landing he was on to try to get a better look. 

A low chuckle reverberated around the room, “What luck,” the flickering sped up and then finally stopped at full brightness, lighting up the little stage, “I am too,”

A wave of sound rolled through the crowd as they roared with elation, but Xie Lian barely noticed as his vision finally focused on the figure on the stage. 

When San Lang had said that ‘Hua Cheng’ stands out.. 

On the stage was now a throne that had not been there previously. The throne was built from chunks of metal or parts from a large machine, welded and molded into intricate shapes that formed into a snarling visage of a draconic kaiju arching over the stage. But however ostentatious this grand chair was, it could not overshadow the man lounging across it.

Hua Cheng was leaning to the side, one foot-- clad in black leather boots with a silver heel-- hooked on a jutting segment of the chair and his head resting lazily on a loosely perched fist covered in a half glove. He was wearing a black shirt, several of the buttons unfastened, with the sleeves rolled up in the same way they had been when Xie Lian had first encountered him. The same metal jewelry-- rings, bracelets, and also some necklaces-- hung off him and Xie Lian noted they were of the same make and material as the chair. A red blazer was draped over his shoulders in almost cape-like fashion, held in place by some more of the metal adornments. His outfit alone would have painted an impressive picture, but it was seeing his full face for the first time that really struck Xie Lian.

Xie Lian easily recognized the ever-present smirk and would not be able to mistake the mischievous glint in his eye, even from this distance, but the rest of his face would have been completely unrecognizable to the unfamiliar. When they had been together earlier in the day, San Lang had kept his hood up the entire time, wild hair always partially covering his face. Xie Lian realized now that that feature was a deliberate red herring and it must have been some sort of wig. The side of his head had been shaved to emphasize the harsh lines of the scar that had originated at his wounded eye, a white path visibly etched into the black fuzz. The eye in question was covered in an eyepatch, obviously ornamented to draw attention. While it did hide his blind eye, it did nothing to hide the scarring-- in fact, it almost emphasized it. One strap of the eyepatch followed the edge of the buzzed hair along a braid that was encouraging the rest of his long hair to fall to the opposite shoulder. The other strap of the eyepatch traveled under his ear, which was cuffed in even more metal jewelry. 

Xie Lian was too intently focused on taking in San Lang’s appearance that he didn’t catch most of what he was saying. It was only when San Lang languidly stood up and raised his eyes, looking directly at Xie Lian that he was brought back to reality. Apparently, whatever speech he had given had gotten the crowd riled up because they were even louder than before. San Lang gave a smirk and the lights flashed again and he had disappeared from the stage.

“What a fucking flashy asshole,” Feng Xin had to raise his voice over the returning sound of dance music.

“Disgustingly garish,” Mu Qing agreed with him.

Xie Lian didn’t respond to either of their comments because he was already hopping down the stairs two at a time. He heard them call after him, but he knew now where he needed to go and he didn't wait for them. Right before San Lang had left the stage, he had made a subtle gesture and flicked his eyes up to the dining loft. Xie Lian weaved his way around the dance floor back to the spiral staircase that led either down to the casino or up to the loft, taking the steps leading up. When he reached the top of the stairs, the noise had already gotten noticeably more muffled and when he pushed through the door into the room, it was surprisingly quiet. He had seen some VIP booths sectioned off and, without having to guess too terribly hard, he found the one he was looking for. 

Up another little flight of stairs, there was a room blocked off with a heavy curtain in the doorframe and a security guard stationed in front of it. He approached and, feeling a little awkward, held out the little red badge again. The guard glanced down, did a double-take, and picked up the card to look closer. Apparently satisfied that it was not a forgery, he looked Xie Lian up and down with a raised eyebrow but handed it back and pushed the curtain aside. Xie Lian stepped into an unexpectedly large room, complete with a table, couches, and personal liquor cabinet. There were windows overlooking the club, but they were tinted in such a way that led Xie Lian to believe they were one-way. When the curtain behind him settled, he was plunged into almost complete silence.

San Lang was not there.

He fidgeted a little awkwardly, suddenly unsure of himself. Had he just barged into someone else’s private room? Maybe he misread San Lang’s signal earlier..

He was about to poke his head out past the curtain to ask the guard properly when he heard a quiet pneumatic hiss behind him. He turned and saw a portion of the wall separate and slide open, most likely to a private elevator. With a metallic click of a heel, San Lang stepped into the room, head down as he adjusted the roll of a sleeve. With a start, he looked up and realized Xie Lian was there already. His face broke into a smile and, now that there was no messy hair in the way, Xie Lian could see the smile stretch across the rest of his features, eye turning into a crescent.

“Gege, you’re here,”

Xie Lian could not help but return his expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this chapter relate to Pacific Rim in any way? Nope! Did I simply want to write Hua Cheng being a flashy bastard and showing off for his gege? Yes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Hualiantines Day! (^.^)<3

San Lang’s long legs easily crossed the short distance to him in several steps, swaths of jewelry jingling as he moved. Xie Lian’s hand had unconsciously begun to raise as if to reach toward the man, but the awkward memory of when they parted last surfaced and he aborted the motion, deciding instead to grip his hands behind his back and grin up at him.

“Yes, I am here!”

Seeing San Lang up close now, Xie Lian noticed a couple details that he had missed from his vantage point earlier. For one thing, even though he was already tall, San Lang’s boots added a whole extra inch or so to his total height, making it so that the top of Xie Lian’s head only reached his chin. This also put him eye-level with his chest, his shirt unbuttoned enough to reveal thin lines of tattoos, hinting at a larger design underneath. He could also now look at the jewelry with a more critical eye. Though the material seemed to be some sort of steel alloy, it had been warped and bent into delicate twisting shapes, mostly of a floral styling, that tricked the eye into thinking it was made of the finest silver. All of the pieces he wore were so alike that it was obvious there was one single artist responsible. 

They were so clearly of the same provenance that it made one piece stand out simply because it was so different. A small earring hung from the ear hidden under the mess of hair that was brushed to the side. This close, Xie Lian recognized it as an ident pin. Issued to anyone in active service, the little silver tube, only about two inches long, held the identification numbers for the person it was assigned to in the event that they were unidentifiable post-mortem. There were several different types, but Xie Lian thought this one was the version you had to shine a light through to get the ID. He wondered if San Lang actually had a military background, but usually the pin hung around the neck, not from the ear.

“So this is what you normally look like?” Xie Lian tilted his head, taking in the details.

“More or less,” San Lang smirked and unclasped the red jacket from his shoulders, throwing it unceremoniously onto the nearby couch, “Maybe less,”

“I thought it looked nice!” Xie Lian exclaimed, watching the fancy blazer flop onto the cushions.

“Oh?” San Lang leaned in with a devilish grin, “Just the jacket?”

The collar of his shirt fell open a bit at the lean, necklaces jangling, and Xie Lian felt his face go a little warm, “Ah, no the rest of San Lang..’s outfit is nice too,”

San Lang snickered, “A lot of it is for show. People remember flashy, so it makes it a lot easier to blend in later on because it’s not what they’re expecting,” 

Xie Lian pondered on this way of living and could understand the strategy behind such a move, but he wasn’t sure San Lang blended in as well as he thought he did unadorned. San Lang turned around to the liquor cabinet and Xie Lian thought he was going to pour a drink, but instead he plucked a few of the more cumbersome rings and the ear cuff off his person and dropped them in a bowl on the counter. He reached up and unhooked the ornamented eyepatch and placed it in a drawer, pulling out a much more plain version. Once he had tied the fabric into place, he came back around and spread his hands. “There, that’s a bit more normal!”

Xie Lian looked up at the simple stretch of fabric covering his eye, tracing the jagged patterns of the scar etched around the side of his head. San Lang must have noticed the direction of his gaze, because he angled his head away and flipped a section of his hair over the buzz cut, which completely covered that side of his head in the thick hair. 

“Sorry gege, it’s not exactly pretty to look at..”

“No!” he shouted, perhaps a little too loudly, causing San Lang to jump slightly and stare at him with a wide eye. Xie Lian reached up as if to push the hair back, but he stopped himself, whispering, “I’m used to scars,”

San Lang’s brow creased briefly at that, but he smoothed it over and grimaced a little, “That doesn’t mean it’s not ugly,”

Xie Lian just hummed, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to convince San Lang otherwise right now. He rubbed his neck, where his own most visible scar was concealed by his clothing, “Does it still hurt?”

San Lang watched the movement, his eyes lingering on his neck several moments after Xie Lian had dropped his hand. He shrugged, “Sometimes,” his mouth quirked a little, “But it's honestly more painful when I accidentally walk into something I didn’t notice,”

Xie Lian couldn’t resist laughing at that and San Lang joined him, chuckling warmly. He wiped the beginnings of a tear of mirth from his eyes and grinned up at San Lang, “Well when I’m with you I can walk on that side so nothing will get close!”

San Lang shook his head and said seriously, “That won’t do, gege, I wouldn’t be able to see you! I’d have to turn my head so much that I’d probably run into something on the other side instead,”

Xie Lian was taken aback at the sincerity of the statement. He was about to respond when they both heard a ruckus past the curtain that led out to the main dining area. It took him a moment for his brain to reorient himself and remember one crucial detail.

Well, two crucial details.

“Ah!” He gave San Lang an apologetic look, “I’m sorry! You told me they weren’t invited, but I couldn’t just leave them..”

San Lang just sighed, “I know, gege,”

“I’ll, ehrm, be right back,” 

He hustled past the curtain and re-entered the main room, immediately noticing his friends standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, arguing with one of the wait staff. He weaved his way around the tables and motioned to them.

“Feng Xin, Mu Qing, over here,”

They both turned, faces stormy. Feng Xin threw up his hands while Mu Qing glared at Xie Lian, “Why didn’t you wait for us, we were about to get kicked out because of you!”

Xie Lian paused and tilted his head in confusion, “Ah, I am sorry about that.. How was I getting you kicked out?”

They both raised their fists at him as if giving a rude gesture and hissed, “STAMPS!”

Ah..

Yes, they  _ had _ rushed past the bouncer without receiving one of those stamps..

He scratched the back of his head and chuckled abashedly, “I see, ahem, well,” he looked over at the annoyed waiter and clapped his hands together in an apology, “I am sorry for the trouble, please excuse them,” and reaching into his zippered pocket, he once again pulled out the red card, feeling a bit like he was abusing the privilege.

A long stare down at the card made Xie Lian wonder if the waiter knew what it even was, but eventually the young man shrugged and walked away, mumbling in annoyance. With the card secured again, he took both of them by the sleeves and led them back to the private room. For a moment the guard looked like he wanted to stop the two from entering, but he ultimately allowed them to pass without saying anything. 

The curtain dropped behind them, cutting off the sound of the other patrons discussing what had just occurred. Xie Lian sighed with relief, head dropping into his hand as he naturally continued walking further into the room. Only a hiss from behind him made him pause and turn around, eyebrows raised. Mu Qing was not looking at him, instead his eyes were trained over his shoulder with a glare. Feng Xin had a similar expression on his face, and Xie Lian recognized his posture as a sign he was ready for a fight. 

Xie Lian moved more deliberately in front of them and raised his hands, palms out, trying to placate them, “Calm down, both of you, everything is fine,” he gestured behind him at the figure that was currently lounging, booted feet crossed on the arm of the couch and arms tucked lazily behind his head, “This is--”

Feng Xin cut him off whispering harshly, “We know who the fuck it is,”

“Let’s get what we need and get out of here,” Mu Qing could glare harder than anyone Xie Lian had ever known, and he was proving it now.

Xie Lian felt his eye twitch slightly, but maintained his calming smile. “Let’s just.. Settle down first, shall we?”

Without waiting for an answer, he stepped across the room and sat down on the couch next to San Lang just as the other withdrew his feet and instead perched them on the low table in front of them. He got comfortable on the cushions and then looked back pointedly at the two still frozen by the entrance and gestured at a couple of the other seating options.

“Sit?”

“Or leave,” San Lang jeered at them, very obviously indicating what his preference would be.

At his jab, they both gritted their teeth and joined them, stiffly sitting on a wide bench. Xie Lian breathed a quiet sigh of relief and relaxed a bit more, leaning back into the couch, closing his eyes. An awkward moment of silence passed between the four of them, broken only by the jingling of San Lang’s bracelets as he lifted his hand to inspect his nails, completely unconcerned by the chilly atmosphere.

Feng Xin threw up his hands, exasperated, “Well?”

Xie Lian had been relishing just those few moments of peace and his eyes felt a little heavy as he opened them to look across at Feng Xin. “Well what?”

Mu Qing rolled his eyes and Feng Xin gritted his teeth, hands gripping his knees so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. Through clenched teeth he said, “Well, have you asked him?? Remember, the reason we even came here??”

Xie Lian snapped his finger, “Oh! Right!” he scratched his head, mildly abashed, “I had actually forgotten for a moment,”

They both gave him incredulous looks, Feng Xin’s eyebrows raising while Mu Qing’s lowered. 

He coughed into his hand awkwardly, “I would have gotten there eventually, I just got a little side-tracked!”

“What the fuck by?” Feng Xin exclaimed as San Lang snickered quietly next to him.

Xie Lian pointedly did not look over at the man next to him, “Ehrm, well the city was just really fun today..”

Mu Qing scoffed, “Have we looked like we’ve been having fun?”

“Maybe you just don’t know how to have fun,” San Lang’s grin was wide and shark-like.

“You--!” Mu Qing looked like he was going to start an argument but Xie Lian cut him off with a raised hand.

He said in a lowered voice, a little pleadingly, “San Lang..”

San Lang ducked his head to give him a small private smile, “Sorry, gege,”

His face softened and he spoke a little louder to re-include the other two, “Technically, I came here to meet you and ask about the rest of your collection, but I suppose we’re a little past that,” 

San Lang smirked, “Yeah, gege, you can see whatever you want. In fact--”

“Woah, hold on, what the fuck, it was that easy?” Feng Xin interrupted, his jaw slack with awe and skepticism.

San Lang  _ tsk _ ’ed and looked down his nose at him, “Not for you,”

Suddenly Mu Qing stood up, eyes trained on San Lang with a storm cloud of varying expressions passing over his face. He moved his gaze slowly to Xie Lian and growled, “What the hell is going on?”

“Hm?” Xie Lian cocked his head, “Um, well, we got our permission to see the rest--”

“Oh, we got it?” he sneered, his voice mocking, “We only got it just now?”

“Mu Qing, what the fuck are you even talking about?” Feng Xin gave him a confused look.

Mu Qing pointed roughly at San Lang, who just watched him cooly, “That’s the fucking kid from the museum earlier! I was wondering why you two seemed so..” he trailed off, his lip curling a little. Feng Xin swore under his breath and stood as well.

Xie Lian frowned, “Mu Qing it’s rude to point like that,”

He ignored the comment and snapped, “Are you having fun messing with us? If you already fucking knew Hua Cheng, why the fuck didn’t you tell us? Why did you have to drag us here?”

Xie Lian sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead, “First of all, did I drag you here? Or did you refuse to listen when I told you I would be fine?”

Mu Qing flinched and dropped his hand, still frowning furiously. Feng Xin looked a little mollified and scratched at his nose, eyes intently tracing some patterns in the floor.

“Secondly..” he glanced over at San Lang, still contentedly lounging next to him, eyes closed and ever-present smirk on his lips, “I really only met San Lang today, so I couldn’t have told you beforehand. And besides,” he shrugged, “he had invited me here already so, if for no other reason, I would have come anyway,”

“Actually, gege,” San Lang cut in, “There is a reason I suggested this place,” he tilted his head playfully at him, “other than the excuse to see you again, that is,”

Xie Lian fought back a blush, hand coming to cover his mouth as he gave an awkward cough. “Ahem, what would that reason be?”

San Lang fiddled with one of the rings remaining on his fingers, “You wanted to see the rest of the collection, so..”

Xie Lian perked up and leaned in, excitedly turning almost his whole body to face San Lang, “It’s here?”

“Not all of it..” he said, glancing down at Xie Lian’s hands that had landed on the couch, inches from him, “Just a couple pieces,”

“Useless,” mumbled Mu Qing, eyes rolling.

“Why the hell do you keep stuff at a club?” Feng Xin blurted out, unable to resist the question.

“Could we see?” Xie Lian said energetically, and then backed down a little bit, “since we are here anyway,”

San Lang glanced over at the other two, annoyed, but when his gaze returned to Xie Lian his face softened and he said, “As I said, gege can see whatever he wants,”

He stood and walked the couple of paces over to the wall that Xie Lian had seen open to let him through earlier. He didn’t see him press any buttons, but with a hiss, the door opened and San Lang stepped through. Xie Lian scrambled to join him, bouncing on the balls of his feet with anticipation, but he paused briefly to look back at Feng Xin and Mu Qing, who had not moved.

He cocked his head and asked, knowing that they could not resist the temptation, “Aren’t you at least curious?” 

Both broke and joined them. Xie Lian heard San Lang  _ tch _ , but he allowed them to enter. With the four of them in the elevator it was a little cramped, Xie Lian finding his back pressed close to San Lang’s chest, reminiscent of their first meeting. He quickly stamped out those thoughts and focused on the matter at hand. There were no buttons in the elevator to press, but as soon as the door had hissed shut, it began to move in a downward direction with speed. Xie Lian tried to look for some sort of control panel indicating what level they were going to, but couldn’t see any. Before he could wonder too much on how or who was controlling the elevator, the momentum slowed to a halt.

The door opened once again and they all stepped out into the room beyond. It was dark, but as Xie Lian exited the elevator he felt metal beneath his feet and the resonance of boot to metal echoed in a way that suggested that they were in a very large open space. Lights at their feet lit up, illuminating the metal pathway in front of them, and as they followed those, they heard the clunks of the larger overhead floodlights switch on. Visibility growing by the second, it soon became clear that the path they were following was a catwalk that extended over a huge open hangar. Xie Lian’s pace slowed as he took in the sight before him. His eyes widened and his heart jumped to his throat.

It should have been impossible..

\--

Director Nianqing shook hands with his father, looking smugly pleased.

“Congratulations, sir. With both your financial backing and your incredibly talented son as the star pilot, this dream has become a reality! We are about to save thousands of lives,”

Xie Lian beamed, pulling off the helmet and wiping the sweat from his brow from another successful test run. His father frowned, looking down at him with a stern expression, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we have yet to see this thing actually take on a kaiju. Just because you can move it, doesn’t mean that it will be effective,” he looked back up at the Director, still gripping his hand in a tight hold, “Xian Le Corporation expects results for the funding to be maintained,”

The Director chuckled good-naturedly, obviously ignoring the threat, “Your son has exceeded our expectations with the mobility of the jaeger. There is no doubt that he will return triumphant from his first mission. He will show the world that we can fight back!”

His father  _ humph _ ed and released his hand, looking across the hangar at the massive machine. “Xie Lian, remember, you are representing the company--”

“And saving people!” Xie Lian cut in, scowling up at his father, “That’s the whole point of this isn’t it?”

The older man sighed, looking back at him with a weary expression, “Son, it’s good that you want to help people, but there are more important things to consider,”

Xie Lian spluttered, growing angry, “More important things?? Like what??”

“That machine has cost hundreds of millions of dollars and if our shareholders do not see a return on their investment, it will ruin us,” his tone was impatient.

Director Nianqing cut in, placing his hand gently on Xie Lian’s shoulder and coming between them to calm them down, having experienced the father and son explode on each other before, “There is no need to worry, they will get the show they are looking for. And,” he looked down at Xie Lian with a proud smile, “you will get to save countless cities in the process. After all, you are the crown jewel of the Taicang Research Institute! We could not have progressed this far without either of you,”

The sparking anger between the two died down a bit and they both turned their heads away, neither wanting to acknowledge the other, but both being assuaged by the Directors words. Satisfied that they were no longer about to tear each other apart, he clapped his hands together excitedly. 

“Now, that actually reminds me! We need one more thing before we can fully deploy,” They both looked over at him curiously and he beamed, “A name.”

Xie Lian jumped with excitement, “Oh yes! It definitely needs a name! I’ll think of some--”

“Not so fast young man, you may pilot it, but it belongs to Xian Le,” his father glowered at him.

“Now now, no need to argue on this, I actually already have a name that will satisfy everyone, I think,” Director Nianqing grinned and gave an affected bow, “May I present, the star of Xian Le corporation and exalted hero of the people, Xie Lian, and his jaeger…”

\--

The Taizi Dianxia.

His feet carried him a little further along the path until he finally came to a stop, directly in front of his jaeger. Everything, from the merchandise and newsreels to its very name, had been wiped from the public record, buried in the past and forcefully forgotten so as not to stain the rest of the operation in his failure. And yet here it was, looking shiny and new, a brilliant coat of white paint polished crisply on its carapace and not a hint of rust to be seen. He could vaguely hear Mu Qing and Feng Xin both exclaiming wildly but he could not focus on them. He had been told that it had been destroyed, sent to the scrap heap, mutilated beyond repair..

He turned his head and found San Lang standing just behind him, arms crossed and pointedly ignoring the other two as they yelled at him for answers. He was simply watching Xie Lian, expression neutral, waiting to see what his response would be. 

“San Lang..” Xie Lian whispered under his breath, unsure of what to say.

San Lang’s voice was low, speaking as if it were only the two of them in the room, “I couldn’t watch them destroy it. I salvaged what I could,”

Xie Lian returned his gaze to the machine in front of him. He was half expecting himself to fall to pieces over the memories associated with it, but there was something almost.. healing, seeing it so whole. It looked like it had never been in a battle before. Scratches and dents buffed out, broken parts replaced with working ones, all signs of the damage done to it cleared away. Like a new start.

“Why..” Xie Lian was so quiet, he wasn’t sure that San Lang had heard him, but the man replied.

“I needed to fix.. something,” he paused, brow furrowing as he ducked his head, “I was so useless. I, I wanted..”

Xie Lian had not heard San Lang sound so unsure of himself before and leaned his head a little to try to meet his eye, desperately wanting to hear more. But the motion was interrupted by Feng Xin and Mu Qing getting fed up with the two ignoring them and busting over, voices escalated and angry.

“Okay, what the fuck is going on? How the fuck is this here?” Feng Xin yelled into San Lang’s face.

San Lang stood up straight and his smirk was back on his face, the vulnerability Xie Lian had witnessed just a moment ago completely gone. He was a little frustrated by his two friends not being able to read the atmosphere, but he sighed and stepped slightly between the two.

“Feng Xin, calm down, he said he salvaged it--”

“Salvage? What salvage??” Mu Qing cut in and skeptically raised an eyebrow, “I saw with my own eyes. It was completely scrapped,”

Feng Xin added, “Even we couldn’t have repaired it. And we helped build it!”

“Guess you aren’t as good of engineers as you thought you were,” San Lang smiled darkly, eye glinting as he looked down at them, “You just gave up too easily,”

“You--!” Mu Qing yelled, his face going red.

“Ahh! I can’t stand this guy!” Feng Xin mussed his hair and paced away angrily.

San Lang just stuck his tongue out at them and Xie Lian held his head in hand, exasperated.

Mu Qing stamped down his immediate anger and asked through gritted teeth, “Does it work or is the damn thing just a giant waste of space,”

Xie Lian paused, staring at the floor, eyes wide as his brain started connecting dots. If it works..

San Lang crossed his arms and smiled proudly, “It works,”

Xie Lian’s heart rate quickened. He stood, unmoving, as thoughts and memories raced through his mind. Does that mean that..

“Good,” Feng Xin nodded, “Then under the authority of the Anti-Kaiju Jaeger Task Force, we are taking it back to base,”

No, no..

San Lang hummed, “Not so fast. There are a couple problems with that. First of all, this is private property,”

Mu Qing rolled his eyes, “Screw you, this was Task Force property to begin with,”

“Not since you all casually threw it away,” San Lang sneered, “You lost any right to it the minute you decided it was no longer worth your time,”

They both flared up at that, faces growing red with both anger and embarrassment.

San Lang folded his arms and continued, “Second of all, I have made some modifications, and I don’t trust you idiots to work on it,” he spoke over them before they could bite back, “So if I allow the Task Force to use it, I have some conditions,”

All three of them shot their head up, eyes wide. Feng Xin and Mu Qing looked anticipatory but wary, but Xie Lian felt like a deer in headlights. 

He held up one finger, “One: I am the head engineer. No one else may modify, update, or otherwise perform maintenance on it without my immediate supervision,” he watched Feng Xin and Mu Qing gnash their teeth and growl, but they were both waiting to hear what the other conditions would be before fighting too hard. 

San Lang snapped the finger he had held up and a hissing and grinding sound echoed around them as the enormous cockpit directly in front of them began to open. Steam filled the hangar and Xie Lian felt San Lang move directly next to him. He looked up into San Lang’s dark eye, his own wet from stress and fear. San Lang frowned and reached up to hold his face gently and catch a tear with his thumb, wiping it away before it touched his cheek. In the solitude of the steam around them, San Lang smiled reassuringly, and Xie Lian felt himself unconsciously relax slightly.

The steam cleared and San Lang looked up at the jaeger, “Two: I am the co-pilot,”

Xie Lian followed his gaze to the now visible control mechanism hidden in the head of the jaeger that was eye level with them on the catwalk. While the outside of the jaeger had been overwhelmingly familiar, the inside was completely changed. When San Lang had said that he had made modifications, he truly meant it.

The Taizi Dianxia was now a dual drift jaeger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It goes without saying that this chapter is incredibly important and I was very nervous to get it right. The emotions and impact of the scene really needed to be right.. Not entirely sure I got exactly what I was hoping for, but I still think it worked! 
> 
> Hope you liked it!! I can't wait to dig into drifting together soon ohhohohoohoh :3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's what's happening >o<; I outline my chapters out with the scenes I want to get to. I start writing. I get to 6k words. I have only achieved a third of my chapter outline... Those scenes get bumped to the next chapter.. and so the story grows!! 
> 
> This may end up being over 20 chapters.. maybe 25?? I hope you continue to enjoy it!

“Xie Lian, how could you betray me like this?? I thought we were friends!!”

Shi Qingxuan threw themselves over Xie Lian, almost making him face-plant into his breakfast. He coughed, clearing his throat from swallowing the porridge too quickly, and righted himself in his seat. Shi Qingxuan rolled dramatically off him and landed splayed out on the bench next him, hand placed woefully over their face.

“Ehrm, good morning, Shi Qingxuan. I’m sorry, but how have I betrayed you??”

“Paradise Manor!” They wailed, drooping lower in their seat, “how could you go to the most exclusive club in Ghost City and not bring me with you!!”

Xie Lian could feel eyes on him from around the cafeteria but he did his best to ignore them. It seemed word had already gotten around about their impending guest. Last night, Feng Xin and Mu Qing had relented and set up a meeting between San Lang and Jun Wu before sweeping Xie Lian away back to base. His eyes itched from the restless, anticipatory sleep that he had barely achieved through the night. His nerves were on edge and he didn’t know if he was terrified or excited.

He twitched a smile at Shi Qingxuan apologetically, “Sorry. Next time?”

They peeked out an eye from under their arm and Xie Lian once again had the thought that they were much more insightful than their outward appearance made them seem. They flipped their legs, today clad in loose flowing overalls that seemed more dress than jumpsuit, over the bench and pressed up next to Xie Lian, leaning their head forward conspiratorially.

“He’s the one who gave you the card, right?”

Xie Lian hummed in assent.

Shi Qingxuan gave a squeak of excitement, “I knew it!! Who else could it have been!!” then in a hushed whisper, they asked, “Is it true? He has your old jaeger? Like, the whole thing?”

Xie Lian nodded, heart skipping a beat.

Shi Qingxuan whistled, very clearly impressed, “Who _is_ this guy?”

Before Xie Lian could formulate an answer, they cut back in, in a heated tone, “No, more importantly, who the _hell_ does he think he is? He can’t force you to drift with him! You can refuse, you know, right? He can’t keep the jaeger hostage! I’m sure Jun Wu will--”

“I want to,” Xie Lian said softly, and smiled at Shi Qingxuan, “I want to try.. I think that it may actually work,”

Shi Qingxuan blinked at him, slightly taken aback. They stared at him at him for a moment and then smiled widely, eyes glittering. They perched their chin on their hands, elbows resting on the table, and asked in a furtive whisper, “Is he as cool as they say? I know everyone here hates him, but you should hear how they talk about him in Ghost City!”

Xie Lian was bewildered by Shi Qingxuan’s quick change in attitude, but before he could come up with a response, a sharp voice cut in.

“Qingxuan, why are you still here? You should be suiting up for simulation training,”

“Ge!” Shi Qingxuan shot up energetically, any focus on the current conversation broken in an instant. They gestured at Xie Lian, “Ge, this is Xie Lian, the new pilot! Xie Lian, this is my brother, Shi Wudu!”

Xie Lian looked up at the man he recognized from having seen him speaking to Shi Qingxuan before their departure to Ghost City. From a distance, Xie Lian had thought that they shared a close resemblance, but closer up, it was clear how different they were. While they did share the same profile and their jawline followed a similar path, the planes of their faces were distinctly different. Where Shi Qingxuan was soft, Shi Wudu was hard, his eyes narrowed and sharp. The older brother stood stiff and tall, obviously from a military background, and Shi Qingxuan flounced around him like a handkerchief caught on a playful breeze. Xie Lian caught Shi Wudu’s shrewd eye as he regarded him, frowning slightly but eventually grunting a low acknowledgement that vaguely resembled a greeting.

“Oh! Is this the veteran pilot they said they were bringing in?”, a new person joined Shi Wudu, munching on an apple. The man had his hair stylishly swept back and had thrown his uniform jacket over one shoulder, holding it with one finger in such an affected manner that Xie Lian got the distinct impression he was choosing the pose to deliberately emphasize the muscles straining at his overly tight shirt. He barely glanced at Xie Lian before his attention was caught by two women passing behind Xie Lian’s table. They ignored him completely, but he didn’t seem to mind. The jacket clearly indicated that the man was also a jaeger pilot, so Xie Lian thought it best to properly introduce himself to his peers. He stood, stepping out from the bench and bowing politely to both of them. 

“Yes, my name is Xie Lian. I will be piloting.. Whichever jaeger they are able to prepare for me,” he winced a little at how stilted he felt.

“Pei Ming,” the newcomer replied, finishing his apple and tossing the core squarely into a bin on the other side of the table. “Me and my nephew run the Ming Quang. He’s around here somewhere,” he muttered and craned his neck around the cafeteria. He looked for hardly a second before shrugging and giving up. He shoved Shi Wudu good-naturedly with his shoulder, and said, “Don’t ditch me again tonight, wingman,” before heading out of the cafeteria, whistling tunelessly.

Shi Wudu had closed his eyes in irritation at the nudge, but did not otherwise acknowledge Pei Ming’s comment. He returned his sharp gaze to Xie Lian, his brow creasing slightly, and then barked to Shi Qingxuan, “Sim training,”

“Right-o!” Shi Qingxuan skipped around the table, waving to Xie Lian as they left, “I guess I’ll get the answer about your new friend myself soon!” They stuck their tongue out and winked before disappearing out of the cafeteria.

Shi Wudu just looked him over once more before nodding stiffly and departing as well, which left Xie Lian standing alone awkwardly at his table. He glanced up at the clock and noted that there was still an hour to go before San Lang was meant to arrive. He bit his lip and tried to come up with some way to pass the time, but was at a loss, so he just decided to go up to the deck and wait for San Lang there.

There had been some reprieve to the constant rain that pelted the coast the last few days, but naturally, the moment Xie Lian decided to perch himself on a box outside to wait, it started to sprinkle. He looked up at the sky, watching the little droplets race towards the earth. Some fell on his face and he felt little streams run down his features. It was mildly uncomfortable, but he had had much worse, and the wetness dissuaded people from lingering on the deck too long, resulting in a blissful quiet around him.

His thoughts mimicked the sky; heavy with emotion, questions overflowing and racing through his mind like the rivulets tracing their path down his cheekbones. He felt his anxieties growing and then the image of the larger warm hand enveloping his came to the surface of his memory and those anxieties ebbed. How could an acquaintance of only one day feel so much like a safe harbor in the rage of a storm? He craved that feeling of safety and yet his experience told him it would not last. For some reason, San Lang was convinced that he was good and worth the countless hours it must have taken to resurrect his jaeger. But would he feel the same after sharing his mind? Truly seeing him-- not the old pilot, not the disgraced hero-- just him. Xie Lian. Tired and damaged. Simply going through the motions of what people require of him.

At some point, his back had hit the box underneath him, eyes closed, as the sensations of the increasing rain pelting down upon him became pleasantly numbing. With the boiling mixture of feelings churning in his gut, he didn’t know whether he wanted to burst out laughing or curl into a sobbing mess. So he let the rain choose for him, water droplets poking at his eyelids as they rushed down the contours of his face. The rain grew in intensity as he laid there and lost track of time, the sounds of the world dulled to the ambient drone of rain on pavement. He was drifting almost weightlessly in his solitude when suddenly the feeling of the rain on his face was cut off.

He scrunched his nose, consciousness returning as realized he could still hear the rain, but it sounded different, like the light tip-tapping of a drumline in the distance. He opened his eyes blearily and saw a shade of red above him. The color came into focus in the shape of an umbrella held over him, stopping the rain from soaking him any further. With a turn of his head, he snapped back into reality as he realized that San Lang was currently standing over him with a large red umbrella and a mildly concerned look on his face. When they finally made eye contact, the concern smoothed over into a bemused smile.

“Gege, you’re soaked,”

Xie Lian shot up, heart beating wildly, causing droplets of water to fling from him in his frantic harried state. “Ah! San Lang! You’re here early!” Under the umbrella that San Lang still held, Xie Lian attempted to wring the worst of the water from his clothes, but he was fighting a war of attrition against the continuing rain around them.

“I’m actually right on time,” San Lang frowned and then glanced over at the box he had found Xie Lian draped over, a dry silhouette slowly filling in with water now that he had moved, “How long have you been out here?”

“Oh, um..” Xie Lian actually had to think about it, having completely zoned out since he had laid down, “Maybe a half hour?”

San Lang sighed, but ducked his head down to him with that soft private smile Xie Lian already knew was only for him, “Sorry I made you wait, it won’t happen again,”

Xie Lian felt warmth start at his ears and travel down through his body, which also made him acutely aware of how uncomfortable he was in his drenched clothes. He looked down at himself and grimaced, “Ah, San Lang, perhaps we should go inside..”

“My thoughts exactly,” San Lang chuckled, tilting the umbrella against the wind as it shifted directions, “Let’s get you dried off,”

When San Lang turned the umbrella, the rest of the deck came into view and Xie Lian saw an ostentatious sleek bright red helicopter resting on one of the landing platforms. Four sets of blades protruded from the sides and the head narrowed to a dull point at the nose, making it look more like a jet plane than a helicopter. Even without the silver butterflies decorating it’s hull, there was only one person this could have belonged to. It was still and he did not see the shadow of a driver through the front window. He looked up at San Lang as they passed it, “Did you fly here yourself?”

He shrugged, “Yeah, it’s easy enough and I don’t want to have to rely on somebody else to get me where I need to go,” his eyebrow quirked, “Say the word, gege, and we can leave right now,”

Xie Lian began to chuckle, but San Lang seriously looked like he was willing to turn around now and start the machine up. He coughed into his fist and turned his head away, ignoring the fluttering in his chest. As they approached, the bay doors opened a little and another umbrella popped open as someone else stepped out into the rain. 

“Ah! Captain Xie Lian, I was wondering where you had gone,” Ling Wen raised her eyebrows at the two, “I was trying to find you so we could welcome our guest, but I see that you took the initiative to do so already,”

Xie Lian scratched the back of his head, laughing awkwardly.

“Are you going to let us in or just keep us standing in the rain,” San Lang said impatiently.

Ling Wen looked him up and down with a critical eye, face flat and professional as ever, and sighed, stepping back to let them in. She shook off her umbrella with an efficient snap and returned it to a rack next to the entrance. She was already almost to the stairs when she realized that neither of them had followed after her. 

Xie Lian found it almost funny how slowly San Lang was moving, deliberately tilting and twirling the umbrella so as not to drip more water on them. He gave it a last shake and closed it, and then took the time to connect the little ties together so it would not flop around. He meandered over to the umbrella rack and took his time deciding which spot to put it in. Xie Lian put his hand to his mouth, trying and failing to hide a snort of laughter. Evidently, San Lang had heard him, because he gave a little smirk and plopped it into a random slot, strolling back to stand with Xie Lian, a mischievous glint twinkling in his eye. 

They had been walking so close before, Xie Lian had not been able to take in the full effect of San Lang’s outfit this time. He thought back to San Lang’s comment that “people remember flashy” and knew the ensemble he wore now was as intentionally conspicuous as the aircraft he had arrived in. His eyepatch was unadorned, instead made out of a soft leather that formed smoothly with his features. His long hair was pulled to the side in a massive braid, once again displaying the scar stretching around the side of his head. He was wearing a black leather jacket with an asymmetrical zipper done up halfway, the cut cinching in at the narrowest part of his midsection, which met the top of the high-waisted close fit black pants. The look, combined with the little heel of his ankle-high boots-- which were embroidered with a swirling silver floral pattern-- served its purpose in emphasizing his height. He had painted his nails a dark pearlescent shade and wore his multitude of silver rings. If he took off the jacket, he would no doubt also be clad in a similar array of necklaces and bangles. If his goal was to make an impression, he had certainly achieved it.

The rumor that the mysterious and elusive Hua Cheng had somehow negotiated the opportunity to pilot a jaeger soured his reputation even further with the members of the Task Force, many of them having put in countless hours to even be considered as a candidate. The maintenance side of the operation was not any happier. Thanks to Feng Xin’s loud complaining echoing through the hangar when they had returned last night, grumblings of San Lang’s attitude toward their competence had already started circulating. News of his arrival seems to have been disseminated and Xie Lian noticed a crowd beginning to form within view, some trying to look inconspicuous while others were on their tip-toes and craning their necks.

“San Lang, ah, perhaps we should follow Ling Wen, we seem to be attracting some attention,” Xie Lian said to him quietly when he returned from his sojourn to the umbrella rack.

“Not so fast,” he replied, holding up a towel he had swiped from a stack on his way back.

“Oh! Thank you!” Xie Lian exclaimed, gratefully taking the cloth to his wet hair and soaking up the worst of the drips. 

San Lang gave a little _hmm_ of dissatisfaction at how much wetness remained on his person and went to retrieve another one. 

Ling Wen returned at that point, an eyebrow twitching, “If you could please follow me. We are on a schedule,”

San Lang returned and offered the new dry towel to Xie Lian, trading the wet one with him and tossing it to the bin for used towels. He ignored her and addressed Xie Lian, “You should probably go change into dry clothes. It’s drafty in here. You may catch a cold,”

Xie Lian smiled at him, but shook his head, throwing a glance at Ling Wen, who was looking at him with tired circles under her eyes, “No, I’m fine. We should go and talk to the Admiral and see what he says,”

He thought he heard Ling Wen breathe a sigh of relief as she turned and led the way, this time looking back to make sure they were following her. Despite his long legs, San Lang moved at a leisurely pace; just fast enough to not look unnatural in his gait, but just slow enough that Ling Wen kept getting ahead of them and had to wait. Xie Lian might have chided San Lang for needling her, but the pace actually matched his own natural stride so well that he selfishly did not point it out. By the time they had gotten to Jun Wu’s office, she looked distinctly ruffled and, after waving them in, excused herself. Xie Lian felt a little bad then, but was not given time to dwell on it as a calm, resonant voice welcomed them in.

“Ah Xian Le, there you are, I was beginning to worry,” Jun Wu stood by his desk in front of a large bay window that overlooked the main hangar of the jaeger fleet. He had his hands grasped behind his back and looked as strong and imposing as ever. He gave him a brief smile before turning slowly to the man Xie Lian had come in with. “Hua Cheng, a pleasure to finally meet you in person. Your reputation precedes you,” he said in a friendly tone.

“As does yours,” San Lang responded in a not-so-friendly tone.

Xie Lian blinked up at him, slightly surprised at the frigid air rolling off of him. He had seen San Lang respond to others in any way from mocking to disinterest, but this was the first time he had heard true contempt laced throughout his voice. The two men were regarding each other with steely gazes and Xie Lian had the brief visual of two wolves with their hackles raised sizing each other up for a fight. Feeling a little small, he cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Yes, thank you for allowing us to come to you with this opportunity,”

San Lang looked down and met his eyes, ice melting and tense shoulders relaxing. He gave an imperceptible nod and they both turned back to Jun Wu, whose gaze was focused on Xie Lian, brow creased. The Admiral sighed and released his hands from behind his back, taking a seat at his desk and motioning to the chairs for them to sit as well. Xie Lian let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding and sat on the hard wooden seat. At his side, San Lang stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and remained standing.

“You may sit,” Jun Wu said, pointedly, frowning again, “We have a lot to discuss,”

“We really don’t,” San Lang scoffed, “From what I hear, you are desperate for a jaeger that has that blade attachment and have so far failed in your own attempts to recreate one,” he gave a cold smile and said dryly, “What luck, I so happen to have what you are looking for!”

“Which we are more than willing to compensate you for,” Jun Wu cut in, “As you say, we are desperate. So name your price,”

San Lang laughed darkly, “You couldn’t afford me. You know my conditions. Take it or leave it,”

Jun Wu stared at him and then looked down at some notes on his screen. “You wish to be the primary engineer. That is an acceptable proposition,” he looked up and narrowed his eyes at the hostile figure before him, “I am not sure that I am willing to accept the second condition however,”

“That’s not exactly your decision to make,” Xie Lian said, back straight, “sir,” he added out of habit, “I believe I am the only one who can make that final determination,”

San Lang gave a smug smile, eye glinting. Jun Wu looked between them slowly, expression neutral but knuckles white where he gripped them on his desk. He stood, taking his time with the movement and turned his back on them to look out the window, standing in his default parade rest.

“Xian Le, I wish to speak with you privately,”

Xie Lian glanced up at San Lang just as he looked down at him. A simple nod was all it took for San Lang to amble over to the doorway. He turned back to Xie Lian before exiting and said in a voice loud enough for both to hear, “I’ll be waiting right outside,” and ducked into the hallway beyond.

There was a tense moment of silence before Jun Wu turned and said stiffly, “That man is dangerous,”

Xie Lian blinked, “Sir?”

“You’ve never drifted with another person before,” he looked at the doorway San Lang had left through, “It is not just moving in sync with the other. The neural handshake connects memory, impulse, emotion-- essentially becoming each other and sharing a mind,”

“I’m well aware of that sir,” Xie Lian couldn’t see where he was going with this, “Even though I’ve never done it in practice, I was instructed in the theory, same as any other pilot,”

“We have no idea who he is, where he came from, or what his motivations are!” Jun Wu actually gritted his teeth.

Xie Lian frowned looking down at his hands placed neatly on his knees. The fabric of his clothes were still damp, but his hair had almost completely dried by now. San Lang had made sure that he wouldn’t drip everywhere, even going so far as to get a second towel for him once the first proved inadequate. He raised his hand in a subtle movement and placed his palm over the little zippered pocket where he kept the red card with the holographic butterfly stamped into it. He could feel the hard plastic shape press against his hand through the thin material.

He raised his gaze to meet Jun Wu’s. “I don’t care who he is. Or where he came from,” he said with a quiet finality, “And as for his motivations.. I’ve really got nothing left to take advantage of,” he gave a wry smile.

Jun Wu’s mouth gave a twitch, like he was holding himself back from shouting in anger, but he composed himself quickly. “Xian Le, you understand that if you do this -- allow a stranger full access to your mind -- he will be able to see everything you’ve seen, everything you’ve done. How can you know that he won’t use this against you?”

“I don’t,” he was steady in his response, “But I don’t think he will,”

Jun Wu had a complicated expression on his face, but eventually relented, shaking his head and sighing, “I forgot how stubborn you can be.. Very well, let’s move forward with this idea,” Xie Lian’s heart leapt, eyes bright, but Jun Wu held up a hand to pause him before he could rise from his seat, “I have a condition of my own, however. You need to go through the standard compatibility tests to see if this is even a viable idea. I don’t want us jumping in too deep without our usual checks and balances,”

“Sounds fun,” San Lang’s cavalier tone echoed through the doorway and he stepped back into view, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed and a darkly satisfied smirk aimed in Jun Wu’s direction. “When do we start?”

Xie Lian did not notice the electric animosity sparking between the other two as he stood and excitedly crossed the space over to San Lang. After being reminded of the compatibility tests, he suddenly realized that he had been so distracted by the looming crucible of the drift that he had forgotten something very important.

“San Lang,” he looked up at him with stars in his eyes, tugging excitedly on his sleeve, “do you know any martial arts?”

\--

A buzz of excitement permeated the air of the gym. Word had quickly gotten around that Jun Wu had actually given Hua Cheng permission to attempt a compatibility test with some special pilot they had brought in a few days ago. Many rolled their eyes and scoffed at the hubris of Ghost City’s little king. The chances of finding someone drift compatible were so slim, most candidates had gone their whole career at the Task Force without finding a potential partner. And even if they did well together on the physical compatibility test, there was even less likelihood that they would succeed in forming a neural handshake. There had to be complete trust between the two and any insecurity about the other or hidden secret would immediately disrupt the connection. 

Some, like the cadets who had sparred with Xie Lian several days previously and several current jaeger teams interested in new blood, were curious about the upcoming match. It was an odd pairing, a retired pilot who nobody had heard of and the enigmatic leader of an illegitimate city who had been a thorn in their side since he had risen to power. A crowd had formed within the gym. Some people perched themselves higher on the sturdier machines to be able to see over the heads of others into the cordoned off area surrounding the training mat.

Xie Lian did his best to ignore them, but felt a little bewildered by the attention their match was drawing. He had finally been able to change out of his damp clothes into a more appropriate option for sparring consisting of loose trousers and a comfortable t-shirt. He performed his stretches, relishing the pull of muscle and centering himself with the familiarity of the movements, his bare feet pressing comfortably into the firm flexible surface of the mat. His focus was diverted somewhat when he saw a figure in a brilliant shade of teal push their way impatiently through the crowd, panting slightly and complaining.

“Move, move! Let me through! That’s my friend you’re gawking at,” Shi Qingxuan grumbled as they slipped under the cordon. They had on the tight-fitting bodysuit worn underneath the gear that hooked up to the jaeger control mechanism, looking like they had come straight from the simulation chamber without bothering to change back to normal clothes. Finally through the crowd, they looked around and straightened up, wiping the sweat from their brow in an exaggerated movement. “Oh good, I haven’t missed anything!”

Despite their exhaustingly energetic personality, Xie Lian was growing fond of Shi Qingxuan. They seemed to be constantly in motion and Xie Lian had no idea where they got the energy, but it was nice to be able to be carried by their current for a bit without being expected to steer. He completed his current stretch and stood, grabbing a nearby water bottle and shaking his head, perplexed, “I don’t think there will be anything _to_ miss. It’s just a normal match,”

Shi Qingxuan sat on the nearby bench with a puff of laughter, “You do realize that between kaiju battles, our sources of entertainment are rather limited,”

Xie Lian wasn’t sure if it was proper for Shi Qingxuan to compare the catastrophic kaiju encounters to ‘sources of entertainment’, but each person dealt with the traumatic events in their own way. He shrugged, “I’m just not sure what they are expecting,” 

He raised his water bottle and took a long pull on the cool refreshing liquid and, beside him, Shi Qingxuan surreptitiously raised a finger and pointed behind him, eyes wide.

“That,”

Xie Lian turned to see what they were pointing at and immediately choked on the water he accidentally inhaled. 

Amid an influx of chatter and whispering, Hua Cheng had arrived, smoothly making his way through the crowd, which had parted uneasily as he passed-- like a school of fish around a shark. When Xie Lian had turned to see what Shi Qingxuan was pointing at, he saw San Lang on the opposite side of the mat, pulling a hoodie over his head and tossing it atop a gym bag he had set on the bench. As he removed the sweatshirt, the material had caught on the shirt underneath and pulled it up as well, revealing a narrow waist and toned back, muscles dancing under the skin with the movement. Shi Qingxuan patted Xie Lian on the back in a sympathetic manner as he tried to cough out the water he had breathed in as quietly as he could manage.

At the sound of his coughing, San Lang turned and strode over to him with brows furrowed, “Gege, are you alright?”

_Gege??_ Shi Qingxuan mouthed at Xie Lian, eyebrows shooting upwards.

“Ah, ahem,” he waved Shi Qingxuan away and finished clearing his throat, as San Lang reached them, “No, I’m fine. I just drank my water too quickly, ahah..”

His brain seemed to be misfiring. He had seen San Lang covered in an oversized hoodie, hidden from the public eye; he had seen him draped in silver jewelry, the very picture of arrogance; but he had not seen him like this yet and he felt his ears grow a little warm. His hair had been pulled back into a ponytail away from his face, which only served to make the cut of his cheekbones more prominent, and he had removed all the jewelry-- rings, earrings, necklaces gone from his person. Instead, he had wound tight strips of fabric around his hands down to his wrists, which only served to emphasize how long and slender his fingers were. Without the necklaces and in a tight-fitting tank top, Xie Lian once again saw thin lines of tattoos on his chest and now realized that they followed along his shoulders and down a portion of his arms. It was reminiscent of armor and Xie Lian got a vague impression that if he saw the full design, he would recognize it. As it was now, he couldn’t place it.

His eyes moved rapidly, attempting not to stay in one place for too long, and eventually made it up to his face, where he had to pause.

“Oh!” he raised his hand and hovered it over San Lang’s eye. The blind one. Uncovered. “You..?” he tilted his head, unsure how to ask.

San Lang chuckled and took his hand, lowering it, and saying, “It’s fake, gege. I didn’t want you to get caught on anything during the match,”

Xie Lian’s heart swelled from the consideration and he dropped his hands, beaming up at him. For a moment, when he looked directly into San Lang’s eyes, he thought he saw a red dot, almost lit from within, at the center of the fake pupil-- reminiscent of the red-eye effect in some photographs-- but then it was gone and he thought nothing more of it. What he did catch was San Lang’s gaze flicking down to Xie Lian’s shirt. He had perspired during his stretching and the evidence was still visible across his chest. 

“Ah, I’m sorry San Lang, I started warming up without you!” Xie Lian realized, putting his hand to his forehead. He should have waited until they were both present so they could get warmed up at the same time and start the match on equal footing. He hastily clapped his hands together in an apology, “I promise we won’t get started until you feel properly prepared for our bout,”

“No, it’s.. It’s fine,” San Lang scratched at his nose and looked away, lips pursed a little.

Xie Lian felt a little panic well up, fearing he may have made an incorrect step, so he retreated a little and waved to the training mat, “Please take your time! We won’t start until you feel ready,”

San Lang looked like he was about to say something, but thought better of it, and only said, “Yeah, okay,” and stepped onto the mat, rolling his --very defined-- shoulders.

Xie Lian turned quickly and found himself face to face with Shi Qingxuan, whose eyebrows were frozen high up on their forehead, their eyes wide, and their mouth somehow sharply curved in the shape of a ‘V’. They gave his arm a tug and pulled him several more feet away towards one of the weapons racks, hissing under their breath with barely contained glee, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, Xie Liaaaan,” 

Xie Lian was thoroughly confused, “Yes? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he was watching the other vibrate and feared they may be having some sort of panic attack.

“Oh, I am so okay,” they snickered, eyes narrowing at him, “And so are you apparently,”

Xie Lian dropped his forehead into his hand, exasperated, “Shi Qingxuan, I am really not following you,”

They stared at him slack-jawed for a moment before giving him a pitying look and patting him on the shoulder, like they were consoling him, “That’s okay, you’ll get there eventually,”

“Where??”

“Oh! There’s Ling Wen! She’s refereeing the match right? Hi Ling Wen!” They waved widely and left Xie Lian standing there feeling dizzy with how much they had spun him around a conversation he felt he was only hearing one half of.

Shaking himself slightly to reorient, he took a steadying breath and also went to greet the Commander. He gave a respectful bow, trying to communicate an apology for the earlier incident when San Lang had been having fun with their pace. She gave him a stiff nod, which was more than he expected, and opened her tablet with a snap.

“Captain, are you ready to begin?” she gave a perfunctory glance over to San Lang, who had a long leg out in a runners stretch.

Xie Lian hummed noncommittally, also stealing a glance over to the man, “Almost. San-- Hua Cheng only just arrived so he needs some time to warm up,”

“Nah, I’m good,” he said, hearing their conversation and lifting himself up to standing. He grinned over at Xie Lian, and wiggled his eyebrows, “Shall we dance?”

Xie Lian hummed happily, “I would be delighted.” He turned to Ling Wen, “regular rules, correct?”

She nodded and laid out the basics, “Four rounds. A winner is called each round when they strike their opponent in one of the vital zones or capture them in a hold in which they yield. You are both required to score two points each in equal capacity in order to be considered potentially drift compatible. You may select a weapon of choice, but they must be the same. There is no time limit, but a winner will be called if the other refuses to admit a clear defeat,”

San Lang motioned with his chin over to the weapons rack, “A sword, don’t you think?”

Xie Lian walked over and hefted two wooden practice swords off their stands, tossing one to San Lang, who caught it deftly with a hand and twisted to give it an experimental swing. In that one smooth movement, Xie Lian could tell that he had had training with a blade, though not in any style he immediately recognized. His spirit hummed in excitement and the rush of the fight began to pump in his ears. They met each other's eyes and there was a blazing inferno in both, the energy of anticipation swirling around them. 

The bystanders around the training mat had become quickly detached and disinterested after Hua Cheng had arrived, realizing that just watching people stretch and talk was boring. But as Xie Lian and Hua Cheng bowed onto the mat, the eyes of the surrounding onlookers were pulled to them like moths to a flame. The chattering lowered to a hush as they all leaned in as one toward the pair with baited breath. They performed the precursory bows to the audience, to Ling Wen as the referee, and then to each other, eyes meeting halfway. In a fluid motion, they both chose a starting stance, Xie Lian with his body turned, knees bent, and sword steady in front of him, and Hua Cheng standing tall and loose, sword hand hidden behind his tall frame.

They held their position and the room held their breath.

In the same moment, they both flashed forward and the match began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hua Cheng's face reveal during the special episode may have contributed to Xie Lian being particularly thirsty this chapter ohohoho >u>


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing action is haaaaard!!! I hope it comes across well ^u^!! Enjoy!!

The resounding CLACK of wood on wood echoed through the gym as Xie Lian and Hua Cheng exchanged their first blow, meeting in the middle of the mat with a fierce burst of power. 

They remained motionless at the point of contact and the crowd could see them both trembling with the force they were applying on their weapon, pushing against the other but neither budging. The stance they had landed in brought their faces close and they stared at each other in concentration and the whole gym was quiet in anticipation. Suddenly, both men smiled widely and with graceful leaps retreated to opposite sides of the mat again. They had eyes only for each other as they both gave a little nod of their head and then struck forward again.

The first charge had been a test. 

This time they did not pause when their swords met.

The crowd could not take their eyes off the two as they moved around each other, exchanging blow after blow. With a twist, Xie Lian changed his trajectory mid-swing. Hua Cheng stepped at just the right angle that it missed him by a hair's breadth. His step guided him directly into an opening on Xie Lian’s side and he struck with a long arm, but was not expecting Xie Lian’s leg to extend rapidly and redirect the blow. Hua Cheng had to roll to the side, but took advantage of the momentum to disrupt Xie Lian’s balance, which was now perched on a single leg, with a sweep to the knee. 

The audience gasped as it looked like Xie Lian’s knee had collapsed from the strike, but then they gave a  _ whoop _ when he landed expertly on strong arms. The targeted leg instead bent and caught Hua Cheng’s still extended limb and yanked him, from his position where he had rolled, into a lock hold underneath Xie Lian, both swords abandoned. The crowd cheered and they waited for Ling Wen to call the point, but they barely had time to glance at the referee before they saw that this round was not done yet.

Hua Cheng displayed impressive flexibility, using his lithe height to his advantage as he twisted and flipped their positions until Xie Lian was the one in the hold. This would have turned the match to Hua Cheng’s advantage had Xie Lian not grabbed one of the swords discarded during their grapple and angled it between Hua Cheng’s ribs just as he pulled Xie Lian in tight. It was his own demise as the pull put Xie Lian’s sword directly in a lethal position. Hua Cheng looked down at the weapon putting pressure on his chest and gave a low chuckle. He released Xie Lian and looked over at Ling Wen with an expectant eyebrow raised.

She cleared her throat, “Point: Xie Lian. Reset,”

The crowd erupted. They had been hoping for a show, many not-so-secretly hoping that Hua Cheng would get the defeat he deserved, but this was better than they could have imagined. Instead of a quick and clean defeat, the two had pushed each other back and forth, neither giving in and each willing to take advantage of any opening. It could have gone either way and if the other three matches were going to have the same energy, they really didn’t care who the winner was going to be. They watched as the two reset at the center of the mat, a sheen of sweat on their foreheads but neither breathing heavily yet.

“You almost had me right at the end,” Xie Lian grinned.

“Mm, gege is too resourceful. I didn’t stand a chance,” the other chuckled.

They spoke quietly enough that even the people nearest had trouble hearing over the din of the excited crowd around them. But it seemed like neither of the two men minded the noise, focusing simply on each other. They bowed and reset, taking stances once again and the audience hushed around them. This time, Xie Lian took a low stance with his balance on his back leg and the other set long in front of him. His sword arm followed the angle of the extended leg behind him, resulting in a gentle curve from tip to toe. Hua Cheng, once again, stood loosely, but this time he held his sword at an angle in front of him. 

Ling Wen called to start and the entire audience gave a pulse of anticipation for the action.

But this time neither man took action right away. 

They simply watched each other, holding their positions and taking slow breaths.

The expectant energy of the gym grew, concentrated on the two figures facing each other.

And then they moved.

Their match before had ended in a grapple on the ground, a battle of physical strength. However, this round found them shifting around each other on light feet, flexibility and maneuverability a higher priority. As they moved, they picked up speed, spinning and flowing through attacks and guards with finesse. They dodged and moved with a grace that made some suck in a breath of awe. The two continued their motion back and forth, until, finally, it looked like Xie Lian had found an opening, aiming a strike at the back of Hua Cheng’s head. But without even turning to see, he slid a leg out behind himself, which lowered his head enough that the strike passed easily over it. This instead put Xie Lian just enough at an angle that when Hua Cheng stood back up, he slotted himself naturally behind the shorter one, his sword arm rounding the others chest to press his wooden blade to Xie Lian’s neck.

“My point this round, gege,” Hua Cheng spoke directly into his ear, voice low enough that no one else could hear as the crowd whooped and hollered.

Xie Lian’s ear turned red and he turned his head away, clearing his throat as they disengaged and Ling Wen called, “Point: Hua Cheng. Reset,”

They were one to one, evenly scored going into the third round. Amid the excited buzz of the crowd, people started taking bets on the outcome. Some put their money on Hua Cheng taking the last two rounds and coming out the winner. Others, including some of the more daring cadets that had faced Xie Lian earlier in the week, placed their wager on the pilot. A quiet few believed that they would actually tie. Whatever the odds became, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were obviously not listening. They had returned to their starting positions and raised their cupped hands to bow in. Once again, a hush fell over the crowd as they took their positions, wondering how this round would begin.

They had barely settled into a stance when they both blitzed forward into action. 

They were moving so quickly that the snap and crack of swords making contact sounded like a fervent staccato drum beat. Though the swords were simple wooden weapons, it was as if you could see the sparks and flashes of metal colliding like they were true blades. Standing side by side, it was easy enough to tell the two figures apart -- one was tall and lean and clad all in black; the other was significantly shorter and, though by no means bulky, certainly more solidly built, and wearing standard issue brown pants with a white tee -- but as the match continued, their shapes seemed to blur into one and the crowd could no longer tell who, if anyone, had the upper-hand.

Suddenly, with a great CRACK, both weapons shattered.

The crowd shouted in surprise, jerking back as splinters flew. That wasn’t supposed to happen. The swords were made of a strong wood, specifically treated to be durable for the very use that just broke them in two. One, perhaps, could be explained -- they were used frequently during training and could have received one too many strikes --but it was unbelievable that both swords had snapped so easily upon impact. And yet, the audience watched with wide eyes as the pieces flew, their trajectory such that several of the larger bits were caught by people in the crowd. Their attention quickly snapped back to Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, waiting to see how they would react. 

Both men blinked down at their broken weapons, shock evident, but Xie Lian recovered first, using the surprise to his advantage, and grappled Hua Cheng down to a hold, ending the match there. 

Once Ling Wen called the point, Xie Lian met Hua Cheng’s eye and, with a snort, they both started laughing animatedly. Xie Lian had to release his hold in order to grab his sides as he bent from the strength of his laughter. 

He wiped a tear that had been squeezed from his eye as he tried to regain his composure. Coming back to himself, Xie Lian opened his eyes and suddenly realized he was still sitting on top of San Lang, knees resting on either side of his chest after releasing the hold. San Lang’s laughter had died down and he was just looking up at him with a grin on his face. Xie Lian stood up hurriedly and brushed himself, trying to clean off any pieces from the broken swords that might have made their way onto his person. 

“I’m sorry, San Lang! I should have stopped when the swords broke,”

San Lang pushed himself up into a sitting position and perched his elbow on his knee. He tilted his head with a little smile, “Why is gege apologizing? I would have done the same, but you were faster,”

Ling Wen strode over to them, “Gentlemen, I’ve called to get the mat swept in case there are any remaining pieces. We will postpone the last round until we know it’s properly cleaned up,”

Xie Lian laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head, “Ah, Commander, I apologize for breaking the training swords. I’m not sure how it happened,”

She just shook her head, “It’s no matter, we have more. Now, please?” she gestured them off the square.

San Lang stood up with a slow stretch and strode off the mat, joining Xie Lian on one of the benches at the side, long legs stretched out in front of him. Xie Lian took a long drag from his water bottle and then noticed San Lang was just sitting back and watching him. 

Xie Lian looked down at his drink, “Ah! San Lang, do you have water? I’m sorry, I should have shown you! There’s a station at the front of the gym,”

San Lang just gave a lazy shrug, “I have a thermos in my bag, but it’s all the way over there,” he motioned to the bench on the opposite side of the mat from where they were currently sitting.

Xie Lian frowned and then forcefully handed him his water bottle, “San Lang, you have to drink water! We’re working hard, I don’t want you getting dehydrated,”

San Lang took it by reflex and looked down with slightly wide eyes in surprise. He looked back up at Xie Lian who was watching him expectantly. He cleared his throat and popped the top, taking a long swig. Xie Lian nodded in satisfaction, taking a much emptier bottle back and replacing it into his own bag on the floor next to him. Once that very important task was complete Xie Lian turned back to San Lang with bright eyes.

“San Lang, this is so much fun! I’ve never sparred with anyone like this before!”

“Imagine what it’s like to watch it,” giggled a voice off to the side.  Xie Lian turned to find Shi Qingxuan rushing over, dragging a reluctant looking Ming Yi behind them. 

He waved his hands, a little embarrassed, “Ah, thank you. I’m sure it didn’t look as exciting as it felt,”

“I’ll bet,” Shi Qingxuan winked, and then gave an exaggerated nod to the figure at Xie Lian’s side, “Are ya going to introduce us?”

“Oh!” Xie Lian smacked his forehead, “Yes, I’m sorry,” he motioned to the two standing in front of them, “San Lang, this is Shi Qingxuan, one of the other jaeger pilots here. And also.. Ming Yi, right?”

“Ming-xiong was passing by and I dragged him in here,” Shi Qingxuan gave the gloomy man next to them a playful pat on the shoulder, “Definitely didn’t want you to miss the fun,”

“I don’t care,” said the other, face sour, doing his best to look disinterested.

“Oh, boo, that’s a lie! I saw you peeking your head over to see what was going on,” they teased, wiggling their eyebrows.

Xie Lian gave a little cough, bringing their attention back. “Well, no matter. Shi Qingxuan, this is Hua Cheng, Chengzhu of Ghost City,”

He turned back to San Lang, who was cooly watching the two that had interrupted them. He raised an eyebrow and then tilted his head back toward Xie Lian and said, “Gege, it looks like they are done cleaning up. Let’s go do our last round,” He got up and meandered back onto the square with another cool glance at the other two.

Xie Lian gave an awkward chuckle, looking apologetically at Shi Qingxuan, “Ah, it  _ does _ look like Ling Wen was about to call us back..”

They rolled their eyes, “It’s fine, it’s fine. Though, it’s probably more of a formality at this point anyway,”

Xie Lian cocked his head, “The match?”

Shi Qingxuan hummed, perching their hand on their hip and looking thoughtful, “The fourth match, really. I mean, I don’t think there is any doubt that you two are drift compatible,”

Xie Lian blinked at them, a little stunned, and then bit his lip, uncertain, “Do you think so? I knew the theory, but I didn’t really understand the feeling that was supposed to be a part of it..” he stole a look over to San Lang, who had entered the training floor and seemed to be examining it skeptically for cleanliness, “It really looks like we have potential?”

Shi Qingxuan gave him a somber look and placed their hand on his shoulder, looking straight at him with a serious expression, “Only if you have eyes,”

Then they turned Xie Lian around and gave him a playful push. “Now go have fun! Oh, and,” they whispered teasingly, “Don’t let him win  _ too _ easily, or people might think you  _ want _ Hua Cheng as your partner,”

Before Xie Lian could respond, they waved cheerfully and pulled Ming Yi away by the elbow, rejoining the audience. He stared after them, mouth slightly open, trying to understand what Shi Qingxuan had even meant. And then it clicked: he had won two rounds, while San Lang had only won one, which meant that San Lang had to win this one in order for the test to be considered a success. 

And he wanted it to be. 

Very badly.

His brain spun. What if he won this round instead of San Lang? Would they still be allowed to attempt the drift? But Shi Qingxuan made a good point. What if it looks like he just let San Lang win this last round? Would it give Jun Wu a reason to doubt them and deny them the next test? What would they do with the Taizi Dianxia? Would they force San Lang to give it up and keep trying to find Xie Lian a co-pilot? He pressed his hands to his head, eyes unfocused, the worries creeping in making his heart beat at a rapid rate.

And then his eyes found something to focus on, standing confidently in the training square, arms crossed and speaking curtly to Ling Wen with a smirk on his face. Xie Lian watched as San Lang ended his brief conversation and then turned back and saw Xie Lian, smirk morphing into genuine smile. Xie Lian still didn’t know why he deserved that smile -- that was a conversation they had not found time to have -- but he was caring less and less about the why. 

A look of concern flashed across San Lang’s face and he immediately crossed over.

“Gege, are you okay?”

Xie Lian looked up at the crease between his eyebrows and the little frown at his lips and felt that inexplicable warmth spread through him again, calming his brief moment of panic. He smiled and then noticed he still had his hands pressed to his head and released them. “Ah, this,” he stuttered for a moment and then patted his cheeks roughly, like he was waking himself up, “I’m just getting my head into focus for the match! Don’t worry!”

San Lang pursed his lips a little, “Do you want a longer break? We don’t have to start now,”

Xie Lian waved his hands, “No! No, I’m fine! Let’s go!” and jogged over onto the mat, heart beating wildly for perhaps a different reason.

He called over to Ling Wen, who looked up tiredly from her tablet, “Commander, we’re ready to get started again,”

She nodded and then looked him over and frowned, “Are you going to be retrieving another weapon?”

Xie Lian  _ ah _ -ed and was about to head over to the weapons rack when San Lang appeared next to him, holding another sword out hilt first. “Ah, thank you San Lang,” he said quietly, smiling up at him and taking the wooden weapon.

Xie Lian adjusted his sword in his grip, acclimating to its shape and weight, and nodded, giving a satisfied hum. They moved themselves into position and took their bow, setting themselves up for the final round. San Lang caught Xie Lian’s eye across the mat, and, with that simple look, Xie Lian felt that there would be no reason to worry. They each breathed deeply and when Ling Wen called to start, they raced forward.

\---

Xie Lian sat stunned in the emptying conference room as his dream was snatched from him with a few signatures and a round of applause. 

A military contract.

As soon as he saw that it worked, his father, ever the opportunist, had gotten them a military contract for the jaeger technology and signed away Xie Lian’s hopes of ever getting the Taizi Dianxia to see action. The new task force had gotten wind of their program and immediately snatched it up with some billion dollar deal for exclusive production and use. Xie Lian felt betrayed. He glared over at his father, who was laughing good naturedly with one of the military representatives. Finally, his frustration bubbled over and he stood up with such a jolting action that his chair rolled a few feet away from him with a rasping noise. Several heads of the few remaining in the conference room turned towards him at the sound, but he ignored them and stalked over to his father, who stared down his nose at him imperiously.

“Yes?” he asked, annoyed for having been interrupted.

Xie Lian balled his hands into fists at his side and stared at him accusingly, “Why did you let me think I was going to get to fight the kaiju if you were just going to give it all over to the military?”

His father scoffed, “Stop being a child. Plans change and this is bigger than you and your desperate need to be the hero,”

Xie Lian flushed, “I don’t need to be a hero! I just wanted to help!”

“And you have helped,” a calm voice interrupted them. The man Xie Lian’s father had been talking to smiled gently down at him. Though his presence was imposing with his broad shoulders and crisp lines of his uniform, he had a serene confidence that was more magnetic than off-putting. Father and son turned to him, both quirking their eyebrows.

The man nodded his head in a brief introduction, “Jun Wu; head of the Anti-Kaiju Task Force. It’s a pleasure to meet you, son,”

Xie Lian crossed his arms and said stiffly, “Xie Lian,”

“Yes, I gathered!” Jun Wu laughed jovially, “I have seen the footage of your test runs. Quite an impressive display for a sixteen year old,”

“Almost seventeen,” Xie Lian puffed his chest a little.

“Still an impressive display,” Jun Wu chuckled, “You approach the neural interface in an incredibly unique way, as if you were born to it!”

Xie Lian got excited, “It’s easy! It’s like my mind knows exactly where to go! I get connected, and with a little push, it’s done!!” he beamed, getting a little dreamy, “My body may remain, but my heart is in the jaeger,”

Jun Wu stared at him with a thoughtful eye but his father just shook his head, “I’m sorry sir, my son has always been a bit fanciful,”

Jun Wu hummed, “No, no, that is not dissimilar from others experiences with the drift technology. Though..” his eyes never left Xie Lian, “Very few have the strength to get that far alone, especially connecting with something so large,”

Xie Lian gave a start and his brow creased as he pursed his lips, “I didn’t know there were others..”

Jun Wu gave a hearty laugh, “Don’t worry, son, you are still exceptional. But yes, the neural interface has been studied for years. Combining mind and machine is the natural progression of our technological advancement as a society. It was really only with the kaiju appearing that we started experimenting with weaponizing it,”

“Like with the jaeger!” Xie Lian offered.

“Precisely,” Jun Wu agreed, and then in a sober voice, “However, this project is still not yet a viable solution,”

Xie Lian crossed his arms, “It is. It works. I can make it work,”

The taller man cocked an eyebrow at him, “And are you planning on bearing the fate of humanity on your shoulders alone?”

“I--” he blanched, mouth agape, and then straightened his spine, “I can do it,” 

Jun Wu’s lips twitched in amusement and he laid his hand on his shoulder, “I admire your courage and determination, but it takes more than a strong will to defeat an enemy that we barely know anything about,”

“But.. I’m the only one who can move the Taizi Dianxia..” Xie Lian tried to maintain his confidence, but it slipped a little at Jun Wu’s words.

“Can you see why that’s a problem?” Jun Wu gave him a conciliatory smile, “We need a fleet of these, not just one man. No matter how gifted he may be,”

Xie Lian’s father looked smug and nodded along, but Xie Lian still saw a flaw in that plan. He looked up at Jun Wu, “Didn’t you say nobody else got as far as I have with the drift? How are you going to make a fleet with no pilots?”

Jun Wu held up a hand, pausing him, “That issue is already being resolved. A recent breakthrough with the neural interface has made it easier and safer to access the drift,”

“The mind meld you spoke of earlier?” Xie Lian’s father asked.

“Indeed,” Jun Wu nodded and picked up his tablet, swiping to a few reports and handing it over for perusal, “It’s as they say: Two heads are better than one!” he gave a small chuckle, “Now as well as searching for single extraordinary individuals, we can also search for a more ordinary pair, so long as they are compatible with each other,”

“There, you see,” Xie Lian’s father tapping at the tablet with a sense of finality, “Now we can leave it to the soldiers and your mother doesn’t have to constantly worry about you anymore,”

Xie Lian flared up at his fathers complete dismissal of all his hard work, but before he could respond, Jun Wu spoke up first.

“Ah, sir, I actually have something to say on that matter,”

“On what matter?” Xie Lian’s father frowned in confusion.

“The matter of your son piloting a jaeger,” Jun Wu’s eyes flicked down to Xie Lian and a smile curled the corner of his lips. 

Xie Lian stood up straighter, heart beginning to thump loudly in his ears in anticipation.

“As I said before, it is incredibly rare for one person to be able to successfully access the drift, let alone use it to move a giant machine as naturally as breathing. I’m afraid I cannot ignore such an obviously valuable asset to our cause,”

His father’s face grew dark and he frowned, but Xie Lian cut in excitedly, “Are you saying I can still fight the kaiju?”

Jun Wu nodded, smiling gently, “You’ll have to go through some basic training, but I don’t think that will be a problem for you. We should be able to get you a rank in no time,”

Xie Lian felt elation rush through him, but then a thought came to his mind and he asked, “Can I still pilot on my own? With the Taizi Dianxia?.. Or will I have to find a drift partner?”

Jun Wu gave him an incredulous look, “Why would you need one when you are already perfectly capable alone?”

Xie Lian could not contain his glee and gave a little hop of excitement.

Jun Wu chuckled warmly and watched him with a fond smile forming on his lips, “Besides, from what I’ve seen so far, who could possibly be called your equal?”

\---

It was a feeling like none he had ever experienced or ever even knew existed.

That he could flow with another person so seamlessly, as if they were an extension of his own self, was exhilarating. He had seen other drift partners move in tandem, almost like they were connected by some invisible force, but Xie Lian always thought that had been exacerbated by the sharing of one mind during the drift. He hadn’t realized that when two people are called “drift compatible” it goes beyond the connection formed during the neural handshake. He had been apprehensive about the concept of blending so thoroughly with another, fearing a loss of self, but what he felt now was the complete opposite.

As he and San Lang met each other with equal force, he finally felt seen.

The fourth round was carrying on the longest, but time was meaningless to the two on the mat. They were both smiling widely and seemed to have lost the purpose of the match, simply enjoying the fight and feeding off each other's energy. They did not hold back, each strike swishing through the air with purpose, but there was still not a single intention to harm the other in any of their movements. Finally, with a deftly angled jab and a twist, San Lang found an opening and sped in to take it, crashing into Xie Lian and throwing them both to the ground. When the proverbial dust settled, San Lang had Xie Lian in a lock, sword stuck directly in a vital point, claiming the final victory.

The crowd erupted with cheers around them, high off the energy of the match as well. Winning bets were exchanged and the losers stalked off, grumbling at the outcome, yet still very impressed with what they had just witnessed. When they had first heard that some old jaeger vet was getting pulled out of retirement, they hadn’t expected much. And then when Hua Cheng himself demanded to be a pilot, they figured the top brass had gone mad. But maybe this  _ would _ actually work. Many surreptitiously glanced back at the two, eagerly starting to anticipate the obvious next step. They might have been successful in the physical compatibility test, but the drift was a different story. New wagers began to form as the crowd dissipated. 

San Lang and Xie Lian were panting, sweat fully dripping from their brows now. They were still in the lock, catching their breath, though San Lang had relaxed his hold on the sword. They grinned and slowly disentangled themselves, flopping back on the firm mat. Neither said a word as they breathed heavily together, staring up at the tall ceiling above them. They heard a throat clear behind them and Xie Lian tilted his head back to see Ling Wen approaching.

She looked down at the two sprawled out before her and raised an eyebrow.

“I will reserve the simulation chamber for a test run this afternoon, then, if you still wish to move forward with attempting the neural handshake?”

Xie Lian turned his head just as San Lang turned his own and they met each other’s eyes. 

“Yes,” he replied. 

San Lang smirked and Xie Lian beamed, looking back up at Ling Wen and nodding enthusiastically, “Yes, we would really like to do that,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we gonna get to see the neural handshake next chapter or will my dumb hands suddenly write 5k more words in between before we get there?? Your guess is as good as mine u.u;;;;
> 
> But I am excited to get there too!! Soon!!


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